Creepiest things ever said by children

[Mr. Scot]

[KSpan]

My almost 3-yr. old son has spent the last couple of weeks talking about and 'playing with my sister who lives in the walls.' Needless to say, we don't have a daughter.

[KJ89]

please tell me this poo isn't real

it is.

[KJ89]

My father tells me this story of my childhood every once in a while:

When I was around six years old, my dad's best friend committed suicide. We'll call him "Joe" for the sake of the story. Obviously, it was a very rough and emotional time for my dad. Joe was my dad's best man at his wedding, the one guy who was always there for him. After my dad got married, he and my mother left Joe and the town they were in to start a life outside of the town they grew up in.

After years of moving around California, my family eventually moved to Utah, where my father worked for a successful internet business. Joe stayed behind in Washington. Because my family were so far away from their old life with Joe, there wasn't a lot of foresight/warning that Joe intended on ending his own life.

Joe's sister apparently had been blaming Joe's wife for her brothers suicide. Joe and his wife drank a lot of booze, and probably as a result, fought a lot. My father always said that they were a passionate couple; yes, they would fight often, but he hardly knew two other individuals who were so completely in love. For this reason, he didn't believe it.

A few days after Joe committed suicide, his widow called up my father sobbing about how she thought it was her fault. After about an hour of trying to console her, he told her "If there was a way for me to talk to Joe now, I guarantee you that he would tell you that he loved you, and that it wasn't your fault that he ended his life." Crying, she still didn't believe him, but she thanked him for the kind words and let my father go.

My dad was obviously distraught after that long, hysteric conversation. He had been down in his office for a while, and he decided to come up and check on his kids while making a pot of coffee to take his mind off of things. We were all supposed to be napping, but he thought he'd peek his head into our rooms to make sure we were safe/maybe try to have a little smile or brightness added to his day.

Sure enough, when my dad got to my room, I was fast asleep on my bed. He went to my brother's room, and he was also sleeping. Finally, he checks on my sister, who is sleeping as smugly as an angel. He decides to go back towards my room and into the kitchen to make some coffee.

As he walks by my room, he notices a whimper. He turns around, and enters my room, where he finds me weeping. I was five years old, so the way I was crying seemed odd to him. Normally a five year old would cry drastically over dramatically. I wasn't. I was just sitting on the side of my bed, weeping.

My dad enters my room and says "Matty, whats up? Why are you crying?"

It's then that I stop crying for a moment, look up at him with teary eyes and say "Rick, it's not her fault. I love her. It's not her fault."

With that, I stopped crying, rolled over back onto my bed, and fell swiftly back to sleep.

Needless to say, my dad poo his pants.

[Panthro]

We were gathered at my cousins house post my grandmothers funeral. In typical Irish Catholic fashion there was tons of food, drinks, laughter, and some tears. We were all swimming and carrying on when I noticed two of the kids (8 and 9 years old girls) just sitting there having a conversation. I asked if they were going to come into the pool or if I was going to have to throw them in. They said they would be in....just after they were done talking to grandma :/ I said....sure enough and ran back to the pool

 

Apparently ...the story goes....they say she appeared and told them to let everyone know she was ok and that she was glad to see us all together but not worry about her she was with grandpa.

[Panthro]

I've already had the discussion with my 8 month old about saying freaky poo

[KJ89]

my 6 year old daughter came downstairs from her bedroom and said "Dad, i think Kacey is dead", that's my 3 year old daughter. Of course i ran up to make sure Kacey was ok, at which time my oldest daughter raided the cookie jar.

[KJ89]

Kid (4 year old): I want a cupcake

Me: No.

Kid: I want a cupcake, please?

Me: No.

Kid: Whispers If you give me a cupcake I wont cut your neck.

My five year old daughter, in our 100 year old house: "Guess what Daddy, I have a superpower!" "That's great Sweetie! What is it?" "I can see every kid who ever lived here, and they are all in this room!"

"Okay! Let's go outside!"

I have a three year old who says some pretty strange stuff....

Last night: "Mommy.. the man, the very big man with big yellow eyes is looking at you."

I look.. nothing. I tell him there is no man and he is make-believe. My son laughs, "Oh he is hiding now." --- 2 minutes later, "Oh no Mommy, you made him very mad. Now he says he will come when you are sleeping."

Few weeks ago he tells me, "I'm not going to be four. I'm doing to die. And you will put me down, down, down in the hole." I tell him that isn't true, and who told him that. He gets quiet and goes, "The man told me. But I will be scared, so after three night-nights you die too and come with me."

My daughter said to me that there is a woman who watches her watch movies in her room and sleeps on the ceiling above her bed when she sleeps. she also says it dose not like me and wants to eat my heart. my kid watches elmo and fuging dinosaur train. where in the hell did she get this from?

When my oldest was about 3 years old I had a really weird dream where an alien was trying to take my son. I was lying in bed watching this alien take him by the hand and started taking off towards the window. When I went to scream I woke up. Here is the creepy part....I wake up to find my 3 year old turning on the night light in our room. He turns to look at me and says "oh, its ok mommy. The alien is gone." .....I didn't sleep for the rest of the night.

We got my little sister a puppy over Christmas break. We waited till she was asleep, then went to pick up the puppy. So, the next day she woke up, and when she saw the dog, instead of going all googly-eyed and happy, she said, "my baby! It's not time for you yet!" And tried to pick up the dog and shove it in her mouth.

When my nephew was around 3 or 4, he called his father a "demented peon".

[KJ89]

When I was three I came out of the ball pit and told my mom i was "sweatin like a penis"

[8 0 5]

I love this poo keep it comin!

My daughter is only 2 months old, I can't wait for her to scare me and the wife.

[KJ89]

My 3-year-old son generally has a happy-go-lucky attitude, so this is pretty odd.

Sometimes when he's cuddling with his mommy, he'll say, very seriously, "Mom, I promise I won't ever chew on your bones. I promise..

Getting my two and a half year old daughter out of the bath one night, my wife and I were briefing her on how important it was she kept her privates clean. She casually replied "Oh, nobody 'scroofs' me there. They tried one night. They kicked the door in and tried but I fought back. I died and now I'm here." She said this like it was nothing. My wife and I were catatonic.

"I like this mummy better than my last mummy. My last mummy locked me in a room and I drank some paint and died."

My cousin's kid when he was around 4 or 5 came into the bathroom as I was straightening my hair. He closed the door, looked at me and said: "I don't want to kill you."

My sons were about 2 and 4 when their pet goldfish died. I attempted to use the situation as an opportunity to discuss death and mortality. After I finished my explanation, my four year looked up at me with his big, blue eyes and asked, "Mommy, someday, will you die?" My heart filled with love and a little sadness, knowing this was one of those pivotal moments when the first bit of childhood innocence was lost,and I told him yes, someday, mommy will die.

"Good," he said with a totally deadpan expression, and walked out of the room.

Later when we were about to flush the fish, he asked if we could eat him instead. I said no, we don't eat pets because we love them, and he said, "When you die, I'm going to eat you."

While Playing classroom with my three year old brother he made an off handed coment about being in my mothers belly twice. I was amused and said oh really. He preceeded to tell me in amazing detail being inside our mother. He told me about it being warm and that he liked it but he always felt sick. One day he got so sick that "they" came and told him he had to leave. He didnt want to so they promised him he would get to came back again and back to our mom. So he left and they let him come back again and this time he didnt feel sick. I lost my mind and started screaming for my mother. He told her the same story then after she stopped crying we were not allowed to talk about it. I was ten and I was old enough to remember that she had a miscarraige almost 1 year before my brother was born..

[KJ89]

My daughter was 4 years old. One morning I heard her door open and shut. That usually meant that she would be coming to our room to lay down with us. She never came in, but shortly after I heard her voice. Hoping she would go back to sleep I let her be for a bit. Then I heard the door open and shut again. This time I decided to go into her room and see why she kept getting out of bed.

I walked in and she had her eyes closed.

"Sweetie?"

"Yes, daddy."

"Why did you get out of bed?"

"I didn't, I was trying to sleep but he wouldn't leave me alone. He kept talking to me and asking me questions."

"He? Who is he?"

"The little boy that was in my room."

"Umm, sweetie that was just a dream. There is no boy in your room."

"I know that. He just left."

"Ok, well what was the little buy doing?"

"He was hanging from the fan and asking me a bunch of questions."

"How was he hanging from the fan? With his arms?"

"No, with a rope."

Scariest fuging moment of my life. I asked her about it about a year later and she said she doesn't remember.

[KJ89]

My son (6), when asked what he wanted to do when he grew up, said, "I think I want to be a fighter pilot, or maybe a funeral worker like daddy."

I am a software engineer.

My ex and I took our kids over to my dad's house and we were up stairs in one of the empty rooms playing. The closet door opened a little bit on its own and my three year old jumped up, ran over to it and said "it's grandma". My mother died before he was even conceived.

My son was two. He was in a pattern of waking us up at about 5:00 am every morning. One morning I took him downstairs and plopped him in front of the TV so I could try to go back to sleep for about 30 minutes on the couch (right by him).

I woke up a few minutes later and he was standing in the foyer, pointing into the kitchen, laughing. He then said, "Mommy is floating in the kitchen."

I didn't think much of it...went back to sleep for a bit.

About 30 minutes later his mom came downstairs having just woken up, saying she "had one of those weird dreams where she flew out of her body, went downstairs and found herself in the kitchen."

Freekay.

My daughter has always had night terrors, since she was only a couple of months old, the doctor said it was just gas (and that babies don't dream), but he didn't see the absolute look of terror night after night, even after having changed her diet and eating habits as he suggested, he finally agreed.

They have mostly subsided, but there was one in particular that I will never forget her telling us about.

(This is as close as I can remember to her exact wording, and told from her perspective)

I was with my family that I lived with before I lived you, and they were very, very mean people. My mom was dead because they didn't like her anymore, and my dad and brother hated me; they tied me to a chair in the basement, beat me, stuck things in me (I couldn't get clarification on this, how the fug does a 4 yr-old know about this kind of abuse??!) and never fed me. Sometimes I would get free and would have to eat dirt and bugs.

They let their friends do stuff to me too.

(Me:) What kind of stuff?

Bad stuff, I can't say, it's hard to remember, but it was bad. Their friends later killed my bad dad, and bad brother, and stole me away. They chained me to their wall and threw knives at me, and burned me with sticks from their fire.

When they got tired of my crying, they held my throat until I died, then they cut me up into little tiny pieces and put me in the blender, then they found mommy and made her drink me...and that's how I was born.

(Me:) Well, that's quite the sadistic dream, sweetheart.

It wasn't a dream, daddy, that's what really happened.

(Me:) Good. God. ಠ_ಠ

[KJ89]

My three year old niece was in the backseat and she, my mother, and I were on the way to take my niece to her first movie (a matinee of a Disney movie that had been out a while so we figured there wouldn't be many people there in case she wouldn't be quiet).

Then we come to a load of traffic at a dead stop and my mother says "Oh God, look at this traffic." and from the backseat comes my nieces tiny 3 year old voice:

"God can't help you."

I turned and looked at my mother and she stopped and looked at me and then we both turned and looked back at my niece and my niece just stares at both of us for a second and then lets out this really evil little cackle that turns into a hysterical laugh.

It was very surreal at the time.

When my father was a kid in the 60's, he would go into the living room in the middle of the night, turn the TV on to static, climb on his rocking horse and slowly rock back and forth in the dark room only lit by the TV static and slowly say "I hate mommy. I hate mommy. I hate mommy." over and over again. My grandmother says it was the creepiest thing she's ever seen.

When I was little my mother took me to a petting zoo. They let me milk the cow and everything!

Apparently upon getting home, I yanked my pants and underwear off and asked my mother to milk me.

My two year old said there is a fairy in his room. He points to the corner with the aircon. He says it most nights. One day I was showing him some old family photos. I show him one of my mother and he points to it and says 'fairy fairy bedroom'. The photo was of my mum as a girl. She died 4 years ago.

My dad watched his mother die of a ruptured gal bladder when he was twelve and still remembers vividly. My sister, one day, randomly gets up almost an hour after she's gone to bed and goes up to him. The conversation went like this:

Sister: Daddy, your mommy died in a red sweater, jeans, sneakers and with her hair in a ponytail, right? And her hair was blonde?

Dad: Drops book he's reading and stares, wide-eyed, and then says Yes...

Sister: What color were her eyes?

Dad: Blue... why?

Sister: Oh, she doesn't have them anymore, just empty sockets. I was curious.

And she goes right back to bed.

3-year-old Brother:"If God looks after people, who looks after God?" Mom: "Well, I don't know..." 5 minutes later Brother: "I think the Japanese."

"I'm never moving out".