What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums This Year?

[Porn Shop Clerk]

 

As in past years, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity.

Sorted by orifice, working south:

Ear:

SEED

PAINTBRUSH

"SOME BALLS"

SLAG

MAKEUP BRUSH

PATIENT TOLD PARENTS THAT THE CATS STUCK SOMETHING IN HER EAR

GASOLINE

BUTTERFLY

HERSHEY KISS

"CLASSMATE PUT A ROCK IN EAR, HAS PIECE OF PAPER IN OTHER EAR"

Nose:

EAR PLUG

CRAYON

PLASTIC EYEBALL

HEART-SHAPED GEM

DIME

PENNY

NICKEL

AA BATTERIES

SPONGE

SMALL DECORATIVE ROCK

2 ERASERS

MULCH

"PLACED A BEAD IN HER NOSTRIL, PATIENT HAS NO COMPLAINTS"

 

The rest of the list is here:

 

http://deadspin.com/what-did-we-get-stuck-in-our-rectums-this-year-1486766986/@cordjefferson

[PhillyB]

Penis:

PENIS PLUG

20-30 MAGNETIC BUCKY BALLS

DICE

FISHTANK AIRHOSE

ANTENNA

SEWING NEEDLE

BB PELLET

"WIDE WOODEN DOWEL"

NAIL

PLASTIC PIPE, DENTAL FLOSS WITH BEADS

WIRE

MARBLE

EMBEDDED DOMINO IN PENIS "TO PLEASE THE LADIES"

 

 

 

fug fug fug fug

[Porn Shop Clerk]

the air hose is scary...unless it was a DiY catheter

[Jangler]

I feel like I have been slacking off this year.

[Chimera]

How bad is it that only "dental floss with beads" made me cringe

[Jangler]

I would also like to point out...

 

 

[Lloyd Christmas]

What about this poor rhino??

[Herbert The Love Bug]

It's not fun inserting things in your weiner hole. I had a guy tell me one time he wanted to fug me in my dick hole.  Is that a normal thing?

[Chimera]

It's not fun inserting things in your weiner hole. I had a guy tell me one time he wanted to fug me in my dick hole. Is that a normal thing?

That tells me:

A. He has a very small wiener if it fits in your wiener hole, or

B. You have a very large wiener to fit another man's wiener inside your wiener hole.

C. Both