I met a stripper on Friday ...

[PhillyB]

i just think it's an underrated point that an attractive woman asked the OP to send her a picture of himself and he thought the best idea was to stick his tongue between a finger vee and then actually hit send

[Swan]

at a strip club as crazy as that sounds :-) 

 

Anyways, she was showing me a little too much attention ... to the point where she basically gave me a 25 min lap dance (yes, 25 min!!) for free. She was also sucking on my neck and doing all these crazy freaky things and kept saying "I want to take you home". 

She took my number down and texted me at 4am later that night telling me to text her back when I woke up. 

 

I texted her back on Saturday asking her if I could come over and she said she was working all day but Sunday for sure. 

 

So I texted her back on Sunday and she said she was busy helping her friend move but I could come over at 6pm. She texted me her address and told me to bring some weed. 

 

Before heading to her spot, I told myself ... "If she tries to charge me for sex, I'll just smoke a blunt with her and call it a night." 

 

Anyways, I go over there and the first thing she does is invites me to her room. We both sit on her bed and smoke out of her big ass bong. For about 10 min, we start talking about random stuff (rent, interest rates, sports, weed). She's a pretty sophisticated girl I might add. Things started to get a little awkward so she mentioned that we should grab some alcohol from the local store. I tried to pay, but she wasn't having it. We come back, knock back a single beer each ... she gets up to dim the lights and lays right next to me. I start kissing her on her forehead (lol, I'm pretty inexperienced so I didn't know how to initiate it). She then reaches for my mouth and we started making out. That's when I knew I was in. 

 

Anyways, to make a long story short ... I haven't had sex in about 2 years and I hadn't rubbed one off in about 3 days prior to that night. She ends up getting butt naked, gives me Georgia dome, sucks on my balls (I had to tell her to stop 3 different times b/c I was on the verge of ...) I put a condom on and she starts riding me .... lets just say I lasted about 30 seconds ... I was too ashamed to admit to her right away that I had already came, but she figured it out about 30 seconds after that. The first thing she says is "really?" ... I apologized, and she said lets just cuddle. I cuddled for like 10 min, told her I had to go, and left. 

 

Since sex is such an intimate thing for me and I haven't done it in a while ... I kind of fell in love with this girl. I tried calling/texting her and she hasn't responded back. What do I do now? I really like this girl and can't get over her ... 

 

holy fugballs, this might be the saddest post i've seen in a while, and i tend to browze misc- relationship help once in a while. sophisticated? man, she had a big ass bong and asked you to bring over weed. second, she was "sophisticated" cause you have one-iris for this girl. come on man, she's a stripper. and you f*cked up. she wanted a man, but a boy came to play (no pun intended). leave it be, dont call or text her, she isnt the one.

[Kevin Greene]

Really?

Remember, your tongue is the Energizer Bunny. 

 

 

 

(You know for when you bed the girl next door)

[Jangler]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xEQ4Zlbatc

[PhillyB]

OP should call this story into LoveLine

[nickzz]

this thread is fuging fantastic. the OP was gold and i've been impressed by some of the responses too.

 

this has my vote for the thread HoF

[Hawk]

Dear Penthouse...

[j2sgam]

[frash.exe]

I just wish Aziz Ansari would reenact this in a skit

[OnlyPantherFaninMaine]

I'm saddened I just discovered this thread.

 

Better late than never. Was not disappoint. 

[Kevin Greene]

Take a lesson son.

 

[Floppin]

This thread makes me sad that I haven't had my internet turned on at my new place yet. Holy shitballs this thread is fantastic

[PhillyB]

This thread makes me sad that I haven't had my internet turned on at my new place yet. Holy shitballs this thread is fantastic

 

i wondered where the hell you'd been

[SOJA]

10/10 would kiss this thread's forehead