Anger: how to deal.

[P.I.A]

Beer

Unfortunately title 10 says no alcohol for 400 days :/

[P.I.A]

at 22 i had a gun pointed at my head by a gang that thought I owed them money for a drug deal gone bad. i calmly and jokingly talked my way out and ultimately became life long friends with some of those guys.

oh and i was the only white guy in the room.

later that same year i narrowly escaped being involved in what of the states largest drug bust at that time. a girl who was in love with me who was getting money funneled to her by corrupt lawyers and judges. yes. i said lawyers AND judges.

within the same year i coached a middle school baseball team to a city championship. got back from charleston and an earthy day celebration binge fest with NO money and got a free tank of gas and free food. i lived 3 hrs from chuck town.

its called charm, quick talking and hazel eyes padre. you gotta play the cards you are dealt and keep rolling.

thanks for that pstall. I know my problems aren't unique but I'm learning. I've always been a "deep down anger guy" and I often keep my sh!t to myself, but that spilled over today.

[Kevin Greene]

at 22 i had a gun pointed at my head by a gang that thought I owed them money for a drug deal gone bad. i calmly and jokingly talked my way out and ultimately became life long friends with some of those guys.

 

oh and i was the only white guy in the room.

 

later that same year i narrowly escaped being involved in what of the states largest drug bust at that time. a girl who was in love with me who was getting money funneled to her by corrupt lawyers and judges. yes. i said lawyers AND judges.

 

within the same year i coached a middle school baseball team to a city championship. got back from charleston and an earthy day celebration binge fest with NO money and got a free tank of gas and free food. i lived 3 hrs from chuck town.

 

its called charm, quick talking and hazel eyes padre. you gotta play the cards you are dealt and keep rolling.

 

Sometimes I think you're completely full of shyt.

 

Then you tell another sage story.

[thefuzz]

It's a tough thing to do, but the older I get the more I subscribe to it.

 

Getting angry over things that you can't control can lead to huge issues down the road.

 

Take a step back, think about the good things in your life, evaluate what you can control and can't, and go from there.

 

Good Luck, and stay safe.

 

 

[Cat]

I do think people understand. That was an inappropriate thing for me to say. I do talk to my buddies but they don't seem to really care. I feel like I'm supposed to hold back my feelings and it freaking blows because I'm supposed to be the strong SGT. Sorry I had to fugging blab about problems on here. It's just been a hard couple of months.

 

Seems like you don't think you have a right to having feelings and vent. 

 

Best advice I can give is a counselor/therapist. They listen, don't judge and you get it all out. Nothing wrong with talking to someone. 

[TheRumGone]

i think a lot of this has to do with you being a soldier and having to maintain the "strong, silent type" image.

 

you are human. every human has emotions. find positive outlets for your anger. I used to have major anger problems when i was younger. punching holes in walls. punched a few brick walls and broke my hand a couple times, charged at people, got into some bar fights. i found positive outlets for my anger with playing guitar, writing and listening to music, talking to friends who i knew would at the very least listen to my problems, and sports.

 

i'm guessing you are in afghanistan so your options are limited. I think phillyb's advice about keeping a journal is a great idea. its a way to release all that negative poo out in a positive way. if you hold all that stuff in for too long you will explode. keeping a journal or finding other ways to release that energy will help. talk to other soldiers who you think will listen. there's gotta be somebody there who is going through the same as you, poo probably most.

 

and thanks for your service. my cousin did two tours in iraq and told me some stories. you guys are some of the mentally strongest people on the planet. stay safe and get your ass back home. good luck buddy.

[Epistaxis]

When life throws a lot of crap at you all at once, I think the best thing you can do is prioritize.

 

It is unrealistic to expect that you can "deal with it all".

 

Instead, deal with the most important issue first.

 

In my mind, that means you temporarily put all your personal crap on hold. As an NCO, it is up to you to get your guys and yourself home in one piece, while still accomplishing your mission to the best of your ability. That is enough to occupy your mind. Totally immerse yourself in that task.

 

Once this deployment is over, prioritize again. What is number one AFTER that? Girlfriend situation? Fine. Deal with it. Accomplish the goal. Move the chains to the next priority.

 

Move the chains. Methodical. Plan. Execute.

[P.I.A]

When life throws a lot of crap at you all at once, I think the best thing you can do is prioritize.

It is unrealistic to expect that you can "deal with it all".

Instead, deal with the most important issue first.

In my mind, that means you temporarily put all your personal crap on hold. As an NCO, it is up to you to get your guys and yourself home in one piece, while still accomplishing your mission to the best of your ability. That is enough to occupy your mind. Totally immerse yourself in that task.

Once this deployment is over, prioritize again. What is number one AFTER that? Girlfriend situation? Fine. Deal with it. Accomplish the goal. Move the chains to the next priority.

Move the chains. Methodical. Plan. Execute.

Compartmentalization. That's how I usually drive on. But my sh!t cracked. I'm solid now. Thanks for the moto.

[h0llywood]

1) Go see the Chaplan

2) Go see the Chaplan

3) Go see the Chaplan

 

In all seriousness, if not the chaplan, go talk to someone else. When you distract your mind and remove yourself emotionally you should get an overview of your situation. Where you are is not a good place to release negative anger. 

[PanthaSan]

PIA, I totally get what you are going through.   Maybe not from your perspective but from my own.

 

I'm a BTDT and all I can say is you need to get through this deployment by any means possible......without blowing your stack.

 

If you are in a leadership role, you need to keep it together as an example to your squad/platoon/chalk or whatever you are in command of.  If you find yourself slipping, talk to Top or your SGM.  Even the chaplain of your choice can suggest options.

 

You are not the first person to go through something like this and sadly, you won't be the last.  It is important to be aware of how operational you are at any given time and knowing your limits.  That's what's gonna help you get your guys home in one piece.

 

As for the girlfriend and home issues, Fug that!  Staying focused on where you are and what you are doing is your primary task.  That stuff will still be there when you come home and any distraction is dangerous to your health. 

 

As for the locals, fug that too.  It isn't your fault for what your predescessors did and it is not your responsibility to be all United Nations-ish with them.  They will try to take advantage of the situation and will mistake your nice-ness as weakness.  Just drive on and do whatever you are required to do as part of your job.  Be clinical.   They'll live.

 

If there is nothing you can find that will help, even after a bunch of good advice from this place, you still have another option.

 

Go outside that wire and get some.  Nothing like a good old fashioned firefight to help you realize what's immediately important and what can wait to be dealt with later.

 

Good luck, my Brother and make sure you come back in one piece...

[PanthaSan]

1) Go see the Chaplan

2) Go see the Chaplan

3) Go see the Chaplan

 

In all seriousness, if not the chaplan, go talk to someone else. When you distract your mind and remove yourself emotionally you should get an overview of your situation. Where you are is not a good place to release negative anger. 

 

h0llwood knows.  He's a BTDT also.

 

Hey buddy, how ya been?

[pstall]

i second what philly said as well. many guys i have counseled over the years who had some deep rooted or unresolved junk the first thing i would suggest is to write. don't worry about what but just write.

somehow putting on paper whats in your head/heart seems to make it so much smaller.

[Davidson Deac II]

Fwiw, when I got angry and or frustrated when I was in the military, I would run. Sounds crazy, but after about a mile and a half or so, most of whatever was pissing me off would just melt away. To bad that my knees can't handle it anymore, I could probably use a long run.

[saX man]

Did someone recommend cannabis yet? I have not read the thread.  :)