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Matt Ryan's thoughts on facing the Kraken again...

CatMan72

By CatMan72,
in Carolina Panthers

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jayflip Proficient

jayflip

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what the fug do you guys eat, that you have to poo 6 times/day. Holy fug balls!

Lots of Mexican food, beer, and pho.

And I think us dudes get the skids because we got the hair growing in the darkest places. I might invest in a Brazilian wax to test that theory.

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jayflip Proficient

jayflip

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Lol if you don't just poo in the shower and stomp it down the drain.

I only pooped in the shower once.

It was after I long night of heavy drinking. During the walk home from the bar something gave me gnarly allergies. Upon getting home my drunk and incoherent stupid self grabbed a bunch of pills from the medicine cabinet thinking they were Claritin. Took like 5 of em. Turns out they were actually laxatives, and around 4 am I woke up and had the worst feeling reverberating throught both ends of my being and causing my soul to tremble. I couldn't tell if I had to diarrhea or vomit. The thought of butt-squirting in the toilet only to also have to vomit, which would include the high probability of poopy splash back to the face, terrified me. So...rather than risk that scenario I turned on the shower and lay down in the tub and just unleashed fury from both ends.

Needless to say, it wasn't my proudest moment in life. Sad to say it's not my lowest point though.

Hopefully Matt Ryan will feel the shame I felt that morning...

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