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Hey you! Yeah, you, with the frozen football heart. Come read this thread.

PhillyB

By PhillyB,
in Carolina Panthers

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PhillyB Grand Master

PhillyB

Posted
Posted

Pantherland is full of trepidation. After 70 games without a winning record the culture of losing has matriculated from Hurney-era players on the field into the stands and through television screens and the internets. Panthers fans are so afraid of success that they damn it with hellfire every chance they get. Those hearts, once live and beating, have endured so much pain that they've been allowed to simply freeze. A frozen heart feels no pain. And victory, sweet victory, threatens to melt it, to allow hearts to live and breathe and feel, but terrified at the prospect of feeling pain, these fans eschew the joy of victory in favor of ice-encased hearts.

 

And so you get three dozen threads before every game that all say "i know this has been kind of fun, but we've beaten teams that couldn't score on AARP so hold your horses there young buck and let's not get ahead of ourselves." Our matchup against the MRSA Bay Buccaneers was one such example. Before the game, during the game, and after the game, explosions of joy were quickly extinguished by posters better suited to mothering reckless teenage boys than providing commentary on a football team. "The Bucs suck," you hear them say. "Let's beat a real team and then I'll be happy."

 

Briefly I want to dispel this myth that the Bucs are a terrible team. I mean... they are a terrible team. But when we analyze our ability as a team we must do so in phases. In this case, if we're comparing our offense against teams we've played, we need to primarily look at that team's defense, not that team as a whole. And the fact of the matter is that the Bucs had a top ten defense when we rolled into town. We spanked that ass anyway and put up four touchdowns, a field goal, and had zero turnovers in the process. Moreover, we "put away a bad team" contrary to a narrative that suggested we constantly play down to inferior opponents. No, we didn't play down to them, we put our boots on their throats and crushed the life out of them.

 

You know why all that happened? I'll tell you why. Because Riverboat Ron is a motherfuging badass. That's right, a motherfuging badass, and he has been for three straight weeks, and this team has bought into it. You know who else is a motherfuging badass? Cam, who's on arguably the hottest streak of his career to boot. Know why else? Because Mike Motherfuging Shula. Shula has called incredible games, adjusted, coached, schemed, planned. The offensive line has looked great as a result. So has the running game. Our defense looks terrifying. Even when our pass rush doesn't get there we're keeping quarterbacks uncomfortable. We're not allowing points. DId you know we're only the second team since 1935 to not allow a touchdown in the first half this far into the season? NINETEEN THIRTY FREAKING GODDAMN FIVE. Some people thought Hitler was an ok guy in 1935. That's how long that is.

 

All this is evidence that we've watched a badass motherfugin juggernaut come alive in Charlotte. The league is on notice: you play the Panthers and you get a top-five scoring offense and a top-five scoring defense playing against you and if you make one goddamn mistake you will pay for it in blood and tears. This ain't your daddy's Carolina Panthers.

 

So turn on the heat, Panthers fans. Hear that sound? It's the drip-drip-drip of the ice melting off your football hearts. It's the pulse of a franchise long hidden under the heavy winter of perennial losing. Don't try to stop it, don't try to save it, for with the capacity to feel great pain comes the capacity to feel tremendous joy, and at 4-3 we have a win streak in October and the surging tide of hope and great expectations.

 

Embrace it.

 

This guy has.

 

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