I'm crafting a carefully-written letter to Jerry Richardson. What should I say?

[PhillyB]

Write it in panther blood, obtained from the NC Zoo of course.

should i smear it ominously in spiked, streaking letters across a black page or channel it into an inkwell and pen it flourishingly with a quill?

[jackson113]

tell him I'm tired of those Scotty Mc querry BoJangles commericials

[Dpantherman]

Make sure you include the words "hookers" and "blow"

[Argus Plexus]

If JR invited me to dinner...I don't think I'd be able to be a dick. I'd be too starstruck. I'd have to comment that RR obviously can't get it done, but I don't know how much bitching I'd be able to do. JR is genuinely a nice guy from what I can see so it would be hard to be as vehement as we are on the Huddle. Anonymity will do that...

 

Juses Crust

[PhillyB]

If JR invited me to dinner...I don't think I'd be able to be a dick. I'd be too starstruck. I'd have to comment that RR obviously can't get it done, but I don't know how much bitching I'd be able to do. JR is genuinely a nice guy from what I can see so it would be hard to be as vehement as we are on the Huddle. Anonymity will do that...

 

Juses Crust

 

i doubt i'll actually get an audience with him, i'm mostly just typing up something that's been years in coming (from myself as well as our fanbase collectively.) i'll leave him my contact info, so if he calls me or offers to meet me (a long shot for sure) i'll post the transcript here.

 

i'll be shocked by anything other than the company line though. jerry has made a living off of wheedling average fans into big smiles and ticket sales in spite of peddling an inferior product.

[TANTRIC-NINJA]

i'm taking an angle aimed at shifting perception of his priorities and social responsibility to provide a winning football team given the prevalence of it in american culture

also he's getting up there in age so i'm providing maudlin blaise pascal quotes and lines from the gladiator to give him some existential perspective

Or you can Mosaic Cosmotology him!! Wait

Mosaic Cosmopolitan Talk with him or...uh..

Myopic Catipillar speak to him...

Damn your smart Phillyb....i have to bust out a Thesaurus to decipher your posts sometimes....ya know bc of Mandolin Bullion quotes.

[PhillyB]

Or you can Mosaic Cosmotology him!! Wait

Mosaic Cosmopolitan Talk with him or...uh..

Myopic Catipillar speak to him...

Damn your smart Phillyb....i have to bust out a Thesaurus to decipher your posts sometimes....ya know bc of Mandolin Bullion quotes.

 

dear jerry,

 

a myopic caterpillar would serve as a better right tackle than byron bell. please sign at once.

 

phillyb

[Argus Plexus]

I don't know what maudlin means but the rest is common vocabulary

[PhillyB]

I don't know what maudlin means but the rest is common vocabulary

 

theatrically over-dramatic

[Argus Plexus]

theatrically over-dramatic

Who me?

[SCP]

I'd ask his mail screener how he enjoys his job.

My guess: That's the only person who's going to wind up reading it.

I wrote a letter to Danny Morrison this summer and dropped it off when I was down paying my season ticket invoice. He read it, initialed it and sent it along to JR who read it and initialed it. Danny wrote a nice response and had it scanned and emailed back to me. It was a letter complimenting one of the staff people that hosted us when my son was honorary team captain last year. I also mentioned a few concerns and offered a few suggestions. One was moving the Keep Pounding drum from the sidelines to the field pregame so the fans can actually see the person hitting the drum. Notice it was on the 20 yard line last game? I've found them to be surprisingly responsive to fans over the years. Morrison even called me once.

[PhillyB]

hmm. maybe i should send danny morrison a copy too

[mav1234]

While I have no doubt that there are people that filter messages, my message to JR and the Panthers in 2010 was not all that carefully worded.  I pulled no punches, but I also wasn't rude, and just explained how I felt about the team and why I was concerned.

 

I have a feeling JR reads a heck of a lot of the messages he gets, based on the number of people that had the same kind of response that I got.

[Former Bill On Vacation]

Just dont show the guy a pie chart with his return on investment in his NFL franchise.  Its already gone up about 300% from what I have read.