How do you get rid of an acquaintance?

[Big A]

About 2 months ago some of the neighborhood kids were walking by as I was washing my car and they stopped to check it out. Normally I play the snob or pretend to not speak English and answer in another language, but one of the kids is the son of the owner of a famous chargrilled Oyster restaurant that lives a few doors down that Ive know for years, so i relented.

I spent a little time answering their questions about the car and let them take pictures of it. Now 3 days later, one of the guys that was with them comes down the street while I was trimming some trees in front and asks more about my car and then asks if I can pull it out of the garage for more pics. Begrudgingly I decide to do my good deed of the week and get in my car and back it out. I play nice and even take the pictures as he is posing like a rap star on and in my car.

After the second picture session, I figured the fact I was in middle of working in my front yard and told him it was getting late, I figured he would get the hint. A side note, the guy speaks with big pauses, which is like appears to be an extreme form of stuttering I guess, but makes the conversation even more annoying. Well after like 5 hints of, "well I'm going to get back to my work" he starts to tell me about a girl he's dating. Then he talks about the Houston's restaurant downtown. I wasn't picking it up with all the pauses and stutters, but he was asking me if I would pick him up in my car, drive him to pick up the girl, drive them to Houston's restaurant, etc for a date! WTF! WTF! I've known you for one passing conversation! REALLY!? I politely explain to him I'm not a chauffeur and point him to limo services online and end conversation.

4 days after, the guy now this time comes to my front door and rings bell. After some small talk I find out he is not about to start high school like other guys he was with, age 22, works at a hot dog stand, not in school, and doesn't live in the houses in my neighborhood, but in apartment area by the interstate. It seems he is not really even friends with neighbor kids 6 years younger, but follows them trying to make conversation. As I'm really not liking this guy showing up the more I find out, he then gets to the point of his visit, he's $22 short for his Verizon bill and is asking if I will loan it to him since he doesn't start work till the following week. Again I politely explain I rarely use cash and have no money to lend.

After this visit, the guys starts showing up at my door every few days which is now starting to freak out my girlfriend who wants to call the police, yet he hasn't done anything other than lack manners. In past three weeks, has has shown up to my door 5 times and I have never answered the door hoping he gets the hint.

Today it's been 5 days since last attempted visit and starting to feel like he's gone. Well, just out walking my dog and here he comes and starts by asking if I still have my car. Well I just got it in Feb, so yes, I keep my cars more than 6 months! He keeps saying some other small talk stuff as I try to be dismissive. Then when i get back to my house and go to end conversation, he says he was wondering if I had $2 so he could get something from McDonalds. I told him I didn't have my wallet and said bye as I walked inside.

How do I get rid of this guy!? Serious question, put the BS aside for just a thread and give me see ideas because I'm really going to have to get kinda mean and direct with this guy and I would rather not.

[toldozer]

Haha Alice posts an 18 paragraph story to pretend he has a girl friend. How cute. Take your problems to the saints report

[88 Bronco]

Tell him your life story, no one will want to be around for that sad pathetic dialog 

[pstall]

Answer the door naked next time. He will go away.

[jasonluckydog]

He will probably try to murder you while you sleep.

[88 Bronco]

He will probably try to murder you while you sleep.

Don't say it or it won't come true.

[SZ James (banned)]

What's the word to describe this thread?

It's like first world problems but even more pathetic.

[SZ James (banned)]

[Seal (SmittyIsOurSavior)]

TL;DR

[SmootsDaddy89]

Did you try just asking your fat rolls to leave?

[Kevin Greene]

Just link them here:

 

http://www.carolinahuddle.com/boards/user/13438-dat-alice/

 

Tell them to click the show posts button.

 

You'll never see any of them again.

[PhillyB]

tell him how you feel about hurricane katrina

[TNPanther]

Nice attempts to subtly hint at your car and hypothetical girlfriend.

If this is really true though, why are you asking us? You know we're all just gonna make fun of you.

Sent from my SGH-T999

[Chimera]

Kinda how we feel about you.

But if you're serious - ok, I'll put the BS aside and bite. Pull your balls out of your abdomen and be upfront. Tell him you don't want him showing up at your house anymore. Use a little tact and don't end with some dumb statement like "if you ever need anything..."

Never pretend you aren't home. I don't know the kid from Adam, but I've been around enough "bad influences" to know how to soften up a potential target. A pudgy guy with a Bentley (and no cojones to tell me to go away) is a great target.

Then you can stop pretending that 1) you have a girlfriend and 2) your yard is big enough for trees.