The Mythical "Real Job".........DA DA DAAAAAAAA!

[TheRumGone]

I've found that most of these interviews are just to get to know you. I've been asked the broadest of questions like "where do you see yourself in 10 years." it was more of a conversation than an interview. maybe mine have just been different.  It's okay to be nervous, i was terrified my first real interview.

 

It's also good to know as much as you can about the company beforehand if you haven't already learned some things.

[Scrumtrilescent]

Different fields have different interview types.  I'm pretty sure my last interview was 90% different than most normal interviews, they tend to almost be another version of your thesis defense.  And that doesn't even include the casting couch.

[teeray]

1)  Don't use the f-word more than twice

 

2)  dress formally.  If you need a visual you have to look exactly like this including your face and physique:

 

3)  If they ask you what you biggest strength is say "my pecs"

 

4)  If they ask you what your biggest weakness is tell them "I have a bad habit of destroying the people and their families that don't hire me.  Capisce?"

 

5)  Interviewers like for interviewees to ask questions, so in order to save time answer every question with a question.  If the interviewer gets frustrated and asks why you are doing it tell him/her that you are streamlining the conversation to make it more efficient to save the company money.  Then spend the rest of the interview bragging about how you are already saving the company money and telling him or her there is more where that came from.

 

6)  It is important to develop a rapport with your potential boss.  So if it is a man when he shakes your hand, slap him in the nuts like you would with a frat buddy when you are both wasted and then while he is laying on the ground yell at him  "I got you bro.  I got you!" 

 

If it is a woman break the ice with a super funny joke like "I believe I am here to meet with your boss.  Do you know where I can find him?"

 

You do those 6 things you will be in good shape.  Good luck man

 

 

 

[h0llywood]

Breath mints. If you smell to the interviewer you will smell to potential clients and coworkers.

 

Arrive 30 minutes early.

 

Do not talk about family.

 

 

[Hawk]

I'm in sort of in the same position...I have an interview on Friday for internal promotion.  I fricken hate interviews.

 

I'm not sure I agree with the don't talk about family, I think it shows balance...don't talk just about family, don't talk just about work...some bit of a balance.

 

I'm taking some time and googling interview tips, typical questions and getting lots of good ideas out of some of the best answers they've listed and writing lots of notes with my own experiences and responses so that I can review them before I go in...that way, hopefully the retrieval process will be a little easier.  Damn thing is you just never know what they might ask!!!

 

I think my number one tip for you, if you have the job posting, make sure you know all the details and have some thoughts prepared for how you are going to complete the expected tasks.

 

Good luck!!

[mmmbeans]

also:  when they ask... do you have any questions?  

 

 

HAVE INFORMED QUESTIONS.

[thefuzz]

also:  when they ask... do you have any questions?  

 

 

HAVE INFORMED QUESTIONS.

 

Agreed.

 

Ask some tough ones.

[Doc Holiday]

Different fields have different interview types.  I'm pretty sure my last interview was 90% different than most normal interviews, they tend to almost be another version of your thesis defense.  And that doesn't even include the casting couch.

Yeah, I'll say it's atleast not going to be a traditional interview process, but the initial interview is going to be the hardest part to get through at the same time.

 

my application when I turned it in was 53 pages long if that gives you the idea of the type of Job I'm going for, I don't want to get too specific for various reasons as to the who and what.

[Bob NC]

If they ask where you see yourself in 5 years, say:

 

"In your job, it doesn't look terribly difficult."

[Doc Holiday]

If they ask where you see yourself in 5 years, say:

 

"In your job, it doesn't look terribly difficult."

lol, actually they would probably like my real answer to that question even less, needless to say while it's going to be my first real Job and everything, I'm going for it more so because the work experience would be an awesome resume builder, for the job I really want but I can't tell them any of that.

 

I'm going to school right now for the Job I really want and taking this job would actually push back my graduation back 1-2 years, but the work experience not to mention the whole actually making some money for once are the main reasons I'm interested in the Job.

 

my dream job is a bit notorious for being hard to get into so I'm hoping this Job + education would let me get the upper hand and get the job i really want 4-5 years from now.

[toldozer]

Everything is a dream job until you are there for a year or two. Eventually you will grow to hate anything you decide to do.

[Doc Holiday]

Everything is a dream job until you are there for a year or two. Eventually you will grow to hate anything you decide to do.

naw man I worked as a raft guide and jumped seasons for 3 years, only reason I stopped was because you don't make any money doing it, much less make enough to buy a house or start a family with so that's why I stopped but it was a freaking awesome job! Loved it.

[boo7382]

when they ask you what your weaknesses are say something real and how you've improved not some stupid shiat like "i care too much."

that's a character question... they've heard bullshiat answers before.

and jerk off before you go.

The one I use is that I don't trust other people to do my work or make sure something gets done, but I have improved it in some bs way

[toldozer]

naw man I worked as a raft guide and jumped seasons for 3 years, only reason I stopped was because you don't make any money doing it, much less make enough to buy a house or start a family with so that's why I stopped but it was a freaking awesome job! Loved it.

I guess should have specified. You can like a job, but won't make a living doing it unless you hate it!! Lol