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Kevin Boss anyone?


TheMaulClaw

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Good morning, Kevin. Thanks for coming to your player review.

No problem.

So what would you say your best attribute as a player would be?

That's easy... I'm the BOSS.

Okay, so take us through a typical day in the life of the boss.

Well, the first thing I do is...

Hit my snooze button for 2 hours...LIKE A BOSS!

Team calling wonder where the hell I'm at...LIKE A BOSS!

Finally roll out of bed around noon...LIKE A BOSS!

Eat some Lucky Charms...LIKE A BOSS!

2% Milk...LIKE A BOSS!

Show up to work 5 hours late...LIKE A BOSS!

Fail a physical...LIKE A BOSS!

Get kicked off the worst team in the league...LIKE A BOSS!

Panthers fans still wanna sign me...LIKE A BOSS!

20 million guaranteed...LIKE A BOSS!

Only play 10 snaps all season...LIKE A BOSS!

Chillin on the bench with Jimmy and Armanti...LIKE A BOSS!

6 win season...LIKE A BOSS!

Rivera fired...LIKE A BOSS!

Stop by his house to make him feel better...LIKE A BOSS!

End up f--king his daughter...LIKE A BOSS!

Rivera walks in on us...LIKE A BOSS!

Ummm crap man, I was just gonna stop by to see how you were doing getting fired and all. I didn't expect anything like this to happen, I'm sorry man you know sometimes crap just happens and... ahhh f--k it......

RUN LIKE HELL...LIKE A BOSS!

Rivera chasing me...LIKE A BOSS!

Hide in this alley...LIKE A BOSS!

Damn with Rivera walking in on us I didn't even get to finish. This blows... Wait I know...

SUCK MY OWN DICK! ...LIKE A BOSS!

Go celebrate with some new McFish bites from McDonalds...LIKE A BOSS!

Fishhayyy Fisshhhaayyy...LIKE A BOSS!

Damn Rivera's daughter is texting me telling me she's pregnant. F--k me, why didn't I use a condom. F--k my life...

GO ON MAUREY! ...LIKE A BOSS!

I'm ain't that kids father! ...LIKE A BOSS!

Maurey says you ARE the father! Ohhhhhhhh f--k man...

RUN OFF STAGE...LIKE A BOSS!

Flee to Canada...LIKE A BOSS!

Play in the CFL...LIKE A BOSS!

Damn these guys suck, I'm kicking their ass...LIKE A BOSS!

Rivera tracks me down...LIKE A BOSS!

Starts choking me...LIKE A BOSS!

Rivera making this face while strangling me...

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...LIKE A BOSS!

Pass out in the gutter...LIKE A BOSS!

Homeless guy raping me...LIKE A BOSS!

Now I've got AIDS...LIKE A BOSS!

Blizzard rolls in...LIKE A BOSS!

Freeze to death...LIKE A BOSS!

Now I'm dead...LIKE A BOSS!

Uh huh. So that's an average day for you then?

No doubt.

You get fired, get a new contract, impregnate Ron Rivera's daughter, go on Maurey, flee to Canada and then die.

Hell yeah.

And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick.

Nope.

Actually, I'm pretty sure you did.

Nah, that ain't me.

Okay, well this has been eye opening for me.

I'm the BOSS!

Yeah, I know. I got that. You said that about four hundred times.

I'm the BOSS!

Yeah, I got it.

I'm the BOSS!

AaaaaahhhhHHHHhhhhaaaaaAAAaaaaaaahhhhHHHhhhhhh

So yeah, let's sign him, what's the worst that can happen.

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FYI I know Kevin Boss's brother played for the Charlotte Eagles soccer team. Not sure if his brother stills plays for them or not.

Yep, I used to play on the Eagles youth club teams / coach their soccer camps in the summer. I knew his brother Terry well and met Kevin a few times throughout when he was visiting (Kevin loves the Charlotte area.) Terry is no longer playing for the Eagles but would like to have Kevin on the Panthers squad...

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I'm pretty sure we could actually afford him. If he failed a physical, I don't think it's been because he's been eating donuts. If injury turns out to be a concern after we conduct our own physical fine.....don't sign him. However, if he shows some signs of life, this might be one of those one year deals Gettleman was talking about.

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