The ability of Fathers and Sons to have a conversation...

[SOJA]

did you disagree a lot growing up? me and my dad are identical in personality and stubbornness- therefore we get along swimmingly or not at all. Thankfully as I've matured, we get along great 99% of the time we are together.

[Zod]

I hear ya Kurb. Dealing with dads can be difficult.

I think the best thing we can do is learn from it in how we relate to our sons. I am open and honest and willing to listen to them at any point. I hug them every day and let them know they are loved. Thats our most important job, imo.

[pstall]

I have two girls but still a dad. I say the biggest thing we can do for our kids is say I'm sorry or I was wrong. That will endear them to you as much as a big trip or what have you.

That will help them feel like you are approachable which is huge in he teen years.

[chef17]

My sperm donor left when I was 1 or 2. Went years without talking, saw him for 1 Christmas when I was around 8 I think, only time I ever remember. More years no contact, around when I was 14 he called saying he wanted a relationship and stuff. Called about once a week for like a month then stopped. Last year his mom died, said he wanted me and my brothers there, blah, blah, blah. Saw him when we went there, he repeated how he wanted a relationship, was sorry about stuff, more crap. Haven't talked to him since. My point being: quit yer bitching. Some people don't even have dads.

Jk. Just feeling like an asshole today

[PhillyB]

Is this b/c of the religion thing?

it ties in a little. it's honestly a ridiculously long and complicated story but he does insist he'll never talk to me again because i bartend... lol

[Panthro]

I have a great relationship with my father. I value it tremendously and know not everyone is lucky enough to have what I have. I used to take it for granted but that all changed about 6 years ago.

[Zod]

I have a great relationship with my father. I value it tremendously and know not everyone is lucky enough to have what I have. I used to take it for granted but that all changed about 6 years ago.

when you got your period?

[thefuzz]

it ties in a little. it's honestly a ridiculously long and complicated story but he does insist he'll never talk to me again because i bartend... lol

Wow, that must be pretty hard to swallow?

Can't imagine cutting someone out of my life because of the work they choose to support their family.

[Darth Biscuit]

it ties in a little. it's honestly a ridiculously long and complicated story but he does insist he'll never talk to me again because i bartend... lol

wow, that's tough man.

I guess I'll never understand the way some people think. I can't imagine anything that my sons could do to disappoint me so much that I wouldn't want to have a relationship with them.

[Panthro]

when you got your period?

I thought it was marinara

[Hawk]

I am the youngest of my father's 4 sons...the previous three...one committed suicide when I was 11, the other two both dropped out of school before getting to grade 12. One of those has gone on to be quite successful at his own business, the other was and is always the black sheep of the family. So I grew up with all this pressure to be the good son, the successful son, go to school, you can't have fun, blah blah blah. Yes, it molded me some, but it also made me bitter.

now, due to illnesses etc, my dad and I barely speak. We had a time in between school and about 15 years ago that we got pretty close, but due to some very odd and extreme circumstances of late, we hardly talk at all. I will regret this I am sure at some point, but right now, it works.

[PhillyB]

wow, that's tough man.

I guess I'll never understand the way some people think. I can't imagine anything that my sons could do to disappoint me so much that I wouldn't want to have a relationship with them.

yeah it's dumb. there was a lot of physical and verbal abuse when i was growing up, it was a really toxic environment but he never really ceased contact entirely until i blew my knees out and got a rejection notice from the marine corps and moved out and started "dressing like a punk" (khaki cargoes and flip flops lol... he's stuck in the 60's) and listening to evil satan rock music (back then it was christian rock... again lol) and subsequently quit my job and traveled the world. then any contact was solely to insist i'd be homeless, never publish a book, etc.

once i started bartending he cut me off completely, told me he didn't consider me related to him anymore, refused to come to my wedding in spite of repeated invites, and when he found out my wife was pregnant he told my mom that he didn't want any part of the baby's life, etc.

in retrospect there is good to come of it because i'm now very conscious of the necessity to do everything i can to not be a complete dick of a father

[Hawk]

damn that sounds so familiar Phiily!

[Hawk]

it's amazing really how much your post made my blood boil now! it's made me realize that I've got alot of anger and poo just locked up inside of me and that I should probably have a major vent session with someone soon before I pop my top.