The ability of Fathers and Sons to have a conversation...

[Kurb]

you always felt this way?

Pretty much.

I can't think of many things we have actually 100% agreed on.

Fundamentally we are just different.

He grew up in an era that was work work work and find more work todo.

I worked to play.

Not that I am a softy but I could probably count on 1 hand the times he has told me he was proud or that he loved me, it's just not in his emotional ability. Meanwhile it gets back to me how he brags on me and the person I am SMH.

Not to mention the political issues I have just learned to avoid, which are mainly a product of his environment and Deep South roots.

Gays are going to hell, America isn't ready for Obama, etc etc.

I guess I just need a (mostly) anonymous area to vent.

[Darth Biscuit]

My dad and I have always had an interesting relationship...

Talking really isn't his thing. We've gotten along well at times and not so well at times, but never anything rough.

One thing I will say though is that if he says he's gonna do something (for me or really anyone) he does it.

Over the last probably 3 years, I've spent a LOT more time with him than at any other point in my life, mainly together playing golf. I've grown to really enjoy that time.

In regards to my boys, I try to engage them whenever I can... one is 17 and the other is almost 13. They are very different and so talking to them is like night and day.

I've always tried to let them know I'm available to talk about literally anything, anytime, good or bad.

[Kurb]

I guess the main thing that bugs me is I don't want to carry on this tradition.

signed

Irritated in ILM

[The_Light_Brigade]

My father and I struggled through high school and into college. Argued about grades/future/money/responsibility wtev. Then when I left for college things changed. He calmed down we started to have similar issues/things in common we could talk about. Now we play golf all the time, smoke cigars and do stuff together. Went from being a strained relationship where we barely talked to not knowing what I would do without him. brb gonna go cry and call him

[mmmbeans]

I guess the main thing that bugs me is I don't want to carry on this tradition.

signed

Irritated in ILM

what does he like to do?

[Darth Biscuit]

I guess the main thing that bugs me is I don't want to carry on this tradition.

signed

Irritated in ILM

Then don't... it's up to you to make that happen with your boy.

It's not as hard as some people make it out to be... my oldest particularly is really nothing at all like me... doesn't like or play sports, like to talk your ear off (like his mom does) and is just generally into things that I'm not interested in... but I make time to talk to him about stuff and have really tried to find common ground, esp now that's he's old enough to start making his own decisions about life.

[Kurb]

what does he like to do?

Who?

You have the vaguest damned posts :lol:

[mmmbeans]

Who?

You have the vaguest damned posts :lol:

sorry... your dad. what does he like to do?

[Kurb]

sorry... your dad. what does he like to do?

Honestly ? Not much of anything other than work.

He grew up working a hard farm life. Grinding through being a mechanic till he retired as a shop supervisor for the State. All he knows how to really do is work. He has a hard time unwinding or having "fun" as you say.

It's hard to describe.

[Delhommey]

I ask for advice regarding work, photography, cars. Most dad's love dolling out advice.

[Scrumtrilescent]

The fundamental connection you both have...you're both fathers of sons (well, you are anyway). If you can't make a connection about the life of a father....then you may indeed have a rough road to hoe.

I was almost 30 before I had a real conversation with my dad. He was a hardass, too....but he has done a 180 the second he started having grandkids.

[KendrickPanther]

Yeah that's my dad too. I like to work my 40 then enjoy football, free time, and family. My dad works his 60 and complains about how tired he is. I bring up sports in his presence and he says stuff like "some of us are too busy working to keep up with that stuff". The one thing that bothers me more than anything is when I see him bully my nieces the way he bullied me. I don't believe in treating kids that way.

[mmmbeans]

I ask for advice regarding work, photography, cars. Most dad's love dolling out advice.

this is my experience as well. advice and stories about the past.

[lightsout]

My dad and I were that way for a little while. He's 65, and he's been working full time since he was 15. I'm a broke 23 year old college student about to enlist in the Army. We talk about racing, football, military, SOME politics (but this is usually a no-go), food, "projects" that he wants to do/wants me to help with in/around the house.

Outside of that, we don't say much. He stays to himself, I stay to myself. When I'm not home, we might talk on the phone once over the course of 2-3 months. Now, it sounds like we may talk more than you and yours, but it really isn't that much (and it's usually talking about and doing something like building on to the back porch, repairing a small motor, changing the starter on my jeep, etc.).