Describe the biggest asshole you work with or have worked with

[Miaoww]

I hate my boss a little more every time he opens his fuging mouth...

I fantasized about just getting up, kicking him in the dick and walking out the door this morning when he was going on and on about what he bought this weekend...even made me look it up online so he could explain every picture to me

He wants you.

[Davis83]

We have one guy at work that I just can't understand. He absolutely believes that no one earns their pay but him.

He's about 60 years old - the youngest of us is 30. Any assignment, he jumps into it in an effort to prove he can work circles around all of us. many times he is just plain dangerous in this effort. Has 'zero" background or experience as a mechanic, but he even tries this with me (29 years experience). Sometimes I just stand back and watch him make a fool of himself - like trying to repair a 1" burst pipe - after 2 hours and him pulling out 6 different sizes of pipe, I made the repair while he went to the restroom. When he came back I just told him it was done and to clean up his mess.

Its hilarious to hear him huff under his breath about "how he would never go to war with any of us".

[Davidson Deac II]

Worked with a few aholes when I was in the Navy, especially some of the senior enlisted/chiefs. Most of them were great, but some of them developed a serious sense of entitlement. Worst one was a Senior Chief who was one of the in guys at work, but abandoned his wife and children to go live with a stripper after he inherited some money from his family.

Best group of people I worked with was when I worked for Wachovia. Got along with virtually every employee I interacted with.

I get along with most of my current coworkers, but I work remote so much that I rarely see any of them, so that makes it easy to get along with them. :)

[Mrs Pantherfan]

so long story short..the CFO of our company resigned last month..they had a big meeting yesterday....bossman calls me up just now and says,

"hey, how much do you make a month?"

"$XXX"

"Wow, really, I thought it was $"

"um....no"

"oh..well, i'm gonna change that to $XX, but i'm gonna need you to do more work since Bob is gone"

"ok"

"wow, I didn't think you 0nly made $XX"

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh"

so anyhooo...the dude upstairs that's offering me a job..is going to pay me $4k higher than what current bossman is offering to pay me with his long long overdue raise. I knew he was going to be out of town today so Upstairs guy and I will hopefully iron out all the details of my new job. It's really a no brainer of what I'm going to do but seeing that I have feelings, I'm going to feel really bad about quitting. I've been here for 7 years..he counts on me a lot. I'm actually going to give him 3 weeks notice because I don't think I'm going to be able to start the new one until March 1st. So I can train my replacement for a good amount of time...and then I'm going to give myself a week vacation :)

I can't just up and say "screw you, you cheap bastard, too little too late!!" because my husband will still be working here...and I will literally be about 20 steps next to my office now.

Do I just need to turn my female feelings off and not feel bad for leaving him?? My possible new job will not only pay more..but I won't work with an insensitive idiot who brags about how rich he is..I will actually have room for advancement, I could work from home if needed, I would have my own office with a big window... and he loves my dog so I can bring her to work if I want :)

thoughts, suggestions...anything??

[Scrumtrilescent]

Give proper notice (especially since Big L still works there), don't burn any bridges, but still feel OK about leaving because not only does the new place give you a bit more up front, the more important thing is the opportunity for advancement. You were loyal for 7+ years. And yes, it is OK to feel some "HAHA, you suck" goodness inside as long as you aren't overtly displaying it. Because like you said, you'll still be seeing these people in the parking lot once you start your new job.

[hepcat]

Never really worked for an "asshole" but I've worked for some total morons before. Back during college I was a cook at a bar/restaurant near my house. The kitchen manager was a good hard working dude, but our manager was this fresh out of college chick, maybe 3-4 years older than me at the time. All she had was a "hospitality management degree" or some poo like that, no actual restaurant experience.

The kitchen manager couldn't ever get the things he needed to keep things running because she kept spending money on stupid poo for decorations and other crap. We had an entire restaurant of tables and chairs that were totally fine, but she decided to replace all of them. And worse of all she GAVE AWAY the old ones...didn't even try to get a few bucks for them. Some nights we'd be slammed with people and we'd run out of certain key items because she'd cut the kitchen budget, then other nights we'd be overstocked with food we'd have to throw away because we were slow.

Long story short, that place went out of business fast.

[hepcat]

so long story short..the CFO of our company resigned last month..they had a big meeting yesterday....bossman calls me up just now and says,

"hey, how much do you make a month?"

"$XXX"

"Wow, really, I thought it was $"

"um....no"

"oh..well, i'm gonna change that to $XX, but i'm gonna need you to do more work since Bob is gone"

"ok"

"wow, I didn't think you 0nly made $XX"

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh"

so anyhooo...the dude upstairs that's offering me a job..is going to pay me $4k higher than what current bossman is offering to pay me with his long long overdue raise. I knew he was going to be out of town today so Upstairs guy and I will hopefully iron out all the details of my new job. It's really a no brainer of what I'm going to do but seeing that I have feelings, I'm going to feel really bad about quitting. I've been here for 7 years..he counts on me a lot. I'm actually going to give him 3 weeks notice because I don't think I'm going to be able to start the new one until March 1st. So I can train my replacement for a good amount of time...and then I'm going to give myself a week vacation :)

I can't just up and say "screw you, you cheap bastard, too little too late!!" because my husband will still be working here...and I will literally be about 20 steps next to my office now.

Do I just need to turn my female feelings off and not feel bad for leaving him?? My possible new job will not only pay more..but I won't work with an insensitive idiot who brags about how rich he is..I will actually have room for advancement, I could work from home if needed, I would have my own office with a big window... and he loves my dog so I can bring her to work if I want :)

thoughts, suggestions...anything??

Don't burn the bridge obviously (especially since your husband works there), but considering you've got a new and much better job lined up, just calmly say it was a tough decision but I have to take this opportunity. What's to feel bad about? You're moving on, moving up (literally)...something current boss dude can't offer you.

[Captroop]

I worked for 2.5 years at a fortune 500 and never had any drama. Apparently there was a shiz ton of it (people literally in bed with each other), but it was all going on at the executive level, so I didn't catch wind of it til I left. So I'm very unused to office politics.

Then I move to my current small company, and I've had enough for a lifetime. And I actually have two assholes that make my life hell. Both of them are the CEO's pets.

Okay, so the first is his admin. She also does some other work, writing proposals, etc. But from day 1, she thought she was my boss. She always does everything wrong. Literally everything. One example is I went to the HR lady for our proof of insurance. She goes over my head, tells the HR lady not to bother with it, and then chastises me that I shouldn't bother the HR lady. Well surprise! The Proof of insurance she has on file expired in 2010. And it's like this with everything. She yells at me for doing things the right way, and does literally everything wrong. Every time I ask her for something, it becomes a fight because she spends 20 minute telling me she gave it to me already (if she did, it's not what I asked for), and repeatedly asking me why I need it. But the CEO loves her, so there is no point even trying to bring it up.

Well finally we just got acquired by a bigger company. Big time layoffs. She got laid off too (paroxisms of joy!). Then one of the marketing guys left, and my boss said, "why don't we give Cap that job?" CEO goes for it. I get slated for the job. Long story short, the CEO renegged on his promise, and this chick got the job. Wasn't even upset. At this point if it surprised me, I'd have to be an idiot.

The other guy who got to keep his job is some kid who's been with the company for 6 months. Also happens to be the CEO's kid's ski instructor. Lived with the CEO for 6 months. He also happens to be Latvian, like all the executives at the company. The CEO has a visible boner when this kid walks into the room. He's being fast-tracked to the Executive level even though he has less qualification to do his job that the coffee jockies in Java Works downstairs. And worse, the kid has an ego that could fill a container ship. His first week on the job, we have a call with the entire sales team. The director of sales asks the kid if he qualified some lead. "Isn't that your job?" was the kid's reply. Then in another sales meeting with the CEO, he's driving us through the entire pipeline, finding out where we need more up to date info. He gets to one of my deals with an old phone number and says, "Update that for me, Captroop." I have to fight back yelling, "Sure thing, boss!" in my most condescending tone. And there have been dozens of cases like this where he just shows no respect for seniority at every level.

The worst was when he went with us on a sales demo, and the CEO yelled at my boss for sending him to pick up lunch...instead of me. I've been here a year, and I'm still the lunch bitch? Just so your little pet can sit next to you an extra half hour and rub your junk under the conference table?

Then the acquisition happens. Everyone is fighting to save their jobs. He gets promoted. You want to know where he is right now? On a 2-week, round the world sales trip with the CEO. London, Estonia, India, etc. Probably getting his knob polished by the CEO right now.

Again, not mad at all. I'd have to be surprised to be mad. All I can do is roll my eyes at the hilarity of it and find another job. I've been phoning it in since August because the way the CEO treats his pets is the same way he runs the company. And I'm done with it.

[Mrs Pantherfan]

Don't burn the bridge obviously (especially since your husband works there), but considering you've got a new and much better job lined up, just calmly say it was a tough decision but I have to take this opportunity. What's to feel bad about? You're moving on, moving up (literally)...something current boss dude can't offer you.

I'd never burn this bridge even if my husband didn't work here..it's a great reference to have. I just feel bad..it's like breaking up with someone, I guess...I'm a girl..I have those feeling thingies :)

Our office consists of 4 people now...I"m leaving..my coworker got a job offer that if I were him, I'd take...my husband has started to look elsewhere as well....so my boss (who is also the owner of the company) is about to be in for a rude awakening

[Guest]

Its all about the Benjamins...and this....

Do I just need to turn my female feelings off and not feel bad for leaving him?? My possible new job will not only pay more..but I won't work with an insensitive idiot who brags about how rich he is..I will actually have room for advancement, I could work from home if needed, I would have my own office with a big window... and he loves my dog so I can bring her to work if I want :)

thoughts, suggestions...anything??

Even if your current boss matched your new would-be salary, would you be happy? Doesn't sound like it. Be professional, but say goodbye.

[Mrs Pantherfan]

NO! it would be allll peaches and cream for a month...maybe...and then it'll be back to the way it is now...

OH..I'm gettin the hell up outta here..

everyone to the bar...drinks on me!!!!

[Darth Biscuit]

My wife is like that MPF... she's looking at two jobs right now, but she "feels bad" that she might leave her principal in a lurch... the same principal that does nothing to help her, never backs her up in staff meetings and is just a shitty administrator all the way around... yet my wife feels sorry for her for some unknown reason.

Never burn a bridge, but damn... look out for yourself because nobody else is going to.

[Hawk]

turn off the damn hormones...it's a job....you aren't giving up a baby!

don't burn the bridge is covered...but there's no reason to feel bad about leaving

[Scrumtrilescent]

You put in 7+ years of loyalty equity....time to spend it.