Disciplining Children

[Panthro]

Why ever are they 3rd world?

[Ja Rhule]

DP

[stirs]

OP doing a good job.

Knowing your kid is the biggest thing. Obviously, all kids not the same, so what works for one family is not needed for another. Even within a family, you can give one kid a look and they break down in tears, while the other kid gives you the same look right back.

Knowing your kid, paying attention as you seem to be, will help you choose wisely. As long as you are committed to the kid, they will know and respond. Not that it won't be a bumpy road.

[jtnc]

I wasn't much of a bad kid, but I did get whooped if I got in trouble at school for talking back to the teachers or ignoring them. My last beating was by my Grandma in the 4th grade and it would be my last. She would use switches, wet rag. My Mom maybe beat me three times in my life with a belt, and my dad beat me one time. But that was mostly because I was a pretty good child.

[PhillyB]

I still remember when I was about 11... My dad told me to be home no later than 6pm... My friends and I went fishing and lost track of time... So we got back home around 9pm. I knocked on the door, door opens and it's an absolutely darkness inside the house. I take 2 steps inside the house and BOOM!!! I found myself completely disoriented, laying on the floor. Apparenly my dad took one of his army boots and smashed me in the face with it when I walk through the door. I was never late again.

patterns of abuse are generational because the actions of a father are repeated by his son because they are 'normal.'

please be the first to break this cycle and don't do that to your children, no matter how 'just fine' you turned out.

[stirs]

I wasn't much of a bad kid, but I did get whooped if I got in trouble at school for talking back to the teachers or ignoring them. My last beating was by my Grandma in the 4th grade and it would be my last. She would use switches, wet rag. My Mom maybe beat me three times in my life with a belt, and my dad beat me one time. But that was mostly because I was a pretty good child.

I got the hickory switch when I was young, but I never referred to my punishments at beatings. Spanking and beatings to most are a bit different.

[lightsout]

My dad never laid a hand on me. Period. He's a Vietnam-era Army vet. I'm 23 now. I live under his roof as long as I'm in school (only one more year). Had a girl over last summer. She made the trip from across state and was staying with us. He told me that she gets my bed, I get the couch. Me thinking I could wake up before he did, I slept in the bed with her. The next day, after she left, he met me outside and stern as poo told me, "I don't make you do much. You're a grown man who can make his own choices. But when I DO give you an order, I expect you to follow it and the fact that you completely disregarded an order has me disappointed. Don't cross me like that again".

I have never been 1) so scared and 2) so sad at the fact that I felt like I let him down.

Moral of the story: never hit your kids. Respect them. Let them grow and learn. Help them when you can. Don't make too many rules and don't be unreasonable. If they're anything like me, they will respect you more for it later and if they DO mess up, they'll feel like poo afterwards and that is punishment enough, trust me.

EDIT: Forgot to add to that. My mother used to beat me with whatever she could get her hands on and would strike me wherever she could while I was trying to escape her clutches. Her and I no longer speak.

[panthers04100]

My mom use to whip me with a belt, all she had to say was "don't make me get the belt" and I would shut the fug up. When we were out in public if I did something bad she would grab my ear and pull me by it. That poo fuging hurt.

[Panthro]

My dad only spanked me once. I had done something bad and was being sent to bed after dinner but my favorite show ALF was coming on.

I asked if I could stay up to watch it. My dad said ALF and spanking or bed (thinking I would choose bed). Well he underestimated my love for ALF. He only spanked me a couple time....

He told me later in life how much he hated doing that and wishes he could take it back

[Ja Rhule]

I won't. My mother never a laid a hand on me plus my wife to be will do all the yelling and bitching. Kids will run to me for shelter.

[lightsout]

My dad only spanked me once. I had done something bad and was being sent to bed after dinner but my favorite show ALF was coming on.

I asked if I could stay up to watch it. My dad said ALF and spanking or bed (thinking I would choose bed). Well he underestimated my love for ALF. He only spanked me a couple time....

He told me later in life how much he hated doing that and wishes he could take it back

You're dad is a good fuging guy, then.

The best way I have ever heard it put, as far as short and sweet and accurate as hell, is Louis CK. He said this: "Kids are the only people in the world that you’re allowed to hit. They’re the most vulnerable and most destroyed by being hit, but it’s totally ok. If you hit a dog, you could go to jail for that poo. You can’t hit a person unless you can prove they were trying to kill you. But a tiny person who trusts you implicitly? fug ‘em. We’re proud of it, people say “Oh yeah you bet I hit my kid”. “Why?”, and you get “Uh, they were doing a thing I didn’t like and guess what, they didn’t do it after that”. Well that wouldn’t be taking the fuging easy way out would it? How about talking to them for a second you fuging retard.”