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Christmas Traditions You Could live Without


Guest Tom Cat

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Yeah I was that asshole last year who kept telling my family, "you know Jesus wasn't born on Christmas, right?"

Sadly, most of my family either can't cook, or lost the ability. Both of my Christmas meals are typically terrible now...so the food is definitely something I could live without/would change.

Offer to cook or help.

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several family friends phone it in and we have to find room for four of these:

MJpQl.jpg

Werd?

Forwarding address:

Cat Poop

P.O. Box 4,000,023

Gay Street

Dupont Circle

Washington D.C.

Or just hand them to the drag queen with the feather boa on the corner of R and 18th. (S)he knows how to find me.

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Ugh

My mom insists on reading the bible and placing the damn baby jesus in the manger at the right moment.

Me, you know, the atheist guy?

I'm an asshole, but I'm not the world's biggest asshole...yet...so I haven't refused my turn in the pass the fictional mythology group book reading and wooden infant resettling tradition.

My 7 year old daughter last year asked me why they do it.

I said it is tradition.

No poo she said "That's gay".

I love her so much.

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Sadly, most of my family either can't cook, or lost the ability. Both of my Christmas meals are typically terrible now...so the food is definitely something I could live without/would change.

You know..I'm in the same boat with my family..I don't know wtf happened..but the food at Thanksgiving sucked! it was horrible!!! So..instead of having the same horrible turkey and barely edible stuffing..I suggested that we do something different...so we're having an Italian themed Christmas..

I'm making the Lasagna and the antipasti..my dad's girlfriend..as annoying as fug as she is, she can cook..so she's making bracciole..and my sister is doing Tiramisu...

basically..My mother and grandmother aren't cooking anything..therefore, we will eat like kings!!!

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I've thought about this while I read your posts and I think that my wife is the one that has turned me against all things Christmas... it's because everything has to be exactly perfect...

Everyone has to open their gifts one at a time and then talk about it... the TV can't be on... the tree has to be on at all times... on and on... everything has to be just right, instead of just having fun with it. I guess I just got to the point that I didn't care anymore. When I was a kid, we all just opened gifts and had fun instead of making it into some sort of ritual...

It's even worse when we used to have her parents over... her mom is the same way so it's like double the bullshit.

It takes like 2 hours to open 10 gifts. bleh

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Over the last few years my once large and gregarious family that was rich with tradition has been ravaged by the grim reaper.

So quitubitchin and be happy with your busted cookies, your shitty bible stories, bad food, and dubious gifts.

You'll miss them when they're gone...

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Over the last few years my once large and gregarious family that was rich with tradition has been ravaged by the grim reaper.

So quitubitchin and be happy with your busted cookies, your shitty bible stories, bad food, and dubious gifts.

You'll miss them when they're gone...

This is a good point, and note that I didn't bitch about the fun time we always have with my dads family... it's pretty much like it was when I was growing up... everybody all together... no rules, good food and just having fun.

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I've thought about this while I read your posts and I think that my wife is the one that has turned me against all things Christmas... it's because everything has to be exactly perfect...

Everyone has to open their gifts one at a time and then talk about it... the TV can't be on... the tree has to be on at all times... on and on... everything has to be just right, instead of just having fun with it. I guess I just got to the point that I didn't care anymore. When I was a kid, we all just opened gifts and had fun instead of making it into some sort of ritual...

It's even worse when we used to have her parents over... her mom is the same way so it's like double the bullshit.

It takes like 2 hours to open 10 gifts. bleh

so make sure there's only 5 gifts...and that cuts the time in half!!!

you're welcome!

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Going to see Santa tonite at the mall. I'm not complaining about the tradition but the mall....it sucks. It sucks donkey dicks. It sucks donkey balls. It felches donkey ass.

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I've thought about this while I read your posts and I think that my wife is the one that has turned me against all things Christmas... it's because everything has to be exactly perfect...

Everyone has to open their gifts one at a time and then talk about it... the TV can't be on... the tree has to be on at all times... on and on... everything has to be just right, instead of just having fun with it. I guess I just got to the point that I didn't care anymore. When I was a kid, we all just opened gifts and had fun instead of making it into some sort of ritual...

It's even worse when we used to have her parents over... her mom is the same way so it's like double the bullshit.

It takes like 2 hours to open 10 gifts. bleh

I love to slow things down a bit ... my SIL is so annoying. She wants to throw all the gifts to everybody all at one time, and have a free-for-all. I want to enjoy the look on my mother's face when she opens her gifts, and the excitement on my grand niece and grand nephew's faces when they open and play with (albeit just a minute) with a new toy or thumb through a new book.

What's wrong with savoring the moments. They are very fleeting. (My mother's 83 and reminds us every year that it may be her last; one day, she'll be right.)

I stopped SIL from being "Santa" when I realized all she wanted to do was get through it as quickly as possible at Mom's house so she could run off to her family's and play board games all day and night. Another half-hour at our house isn't going to hurt her.

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