Another complaint about this season.

[PhillyB]

oh sweet a proper context to tell my airplane bathroom story!

last summer i did some traveling overseas and ended up in kiribati, an isolated set of islands in the pacific ocean a few thousand miles south of hawaii. i subsisted on a diet of rice and water for about a week, and on the way back to LA i had a layover in fiji, where I decided it'd be a good idea to wolf down a big fat turkey hotdog with chili. then ten hours later in LAX i scarfed down a greasy mcdonalds meal and packed a milkshake on top of all of it. mmmm, american food again. mistake.

then on my final flight home, an early-morning run from detroit to RDU, it all hit me. it was one of those little commuter jets, a little sky tube with one row on each side. we took off and i was holding it, trying to stave off the cramps until the seat belt sign turned off, and then i decided to let out a little tester fart to see if i could release some excess air. it was small, silent, and moments later the most acrid smell that's ever met my nostrils reached me, destroying my olfactory senses in one fell swoop. i have never in my life smelled anything so putrid. i immediately started breathing as fast as i could to try to suck it in before it spread, but it was too late.

the oxygen system circulates air through the planes, and it was a tiny cabin, so there wasn't much room for dissipation, and this fart had to be 99% humidity. i'm surprised the windows didn't fog. it got sucked around and within seconds i started seeing reaction. the guy two rows in front of me shifted in his seat and looked noticeably disturbed, and the old chinese lady on the aisle across from me looked around, mortified, and grabbed the little airplane pillow off the seat next to her and buried her face in it. of course now i couldn't go to the bathroom without being the clear culprit, so i looked around the cabin with an offended look on my face like everyone else and then the smell finally went away and i spent a half an hour unloading in the RDU airport bathroom when we landed. there was a gospel tract in the stall, probably the only thing that saved whatever janitor had to go in there after me.

DONT LET OUT A TESTER SCP.

[Argus Plexus]

I've been on about 20 flights in my life and they all were uneventful.

[Darth Biscuit]

Thanks Philly, I just had to explain your story to my son because i busted out laughing...

[Chaos]

Halfway to Vegas you say?? If the stars are aligned, you dropped a nasty turd right over Texas. #winning

[Davis83]

proud to say - ate a banana sandwich for dinner. About 2 am I let one fly in my sleep..... it woke me up!

No one to blame it on - it was me. Needless to say my wife was NOT impressed :phew:

[mwright350]

proud to say - ate a banana sandwich for dinner. About 2 am I let one fly in my sleep..... it woke me up!

No one to blame it on - it was me. Needless to say my wife was NOT impressed :phew:

Funny...my wife ran me out of the room the other night in her sleep. I just went to play Madden for an hour while it aired out.