Real Cheating

[Guest]

One more thing. You say you're 29 and have been bf/gf for 6 years. So you started young, at 23. How old is she?

[KBRed]

My father cheated on my mother when I was young. They worked it out and are still married. Hard to do.

For this situation I can understand staying together for your children's sake. I would never ask for a child to be brought up with parents separated. But, for me it's a tough situation, because there aren't those commitments so it's easier to say good riddance. But, like I said it's been six years so it's hard to just say goodbye, but it might be the best answer.

[KBRed]

One more thing. You say you're 29 and have been bf/gf for 6 years. So you started young, at 23. How old is she?

26, but I've actually known her since she was 17

[Wyank]

For this situation I can understand staying together for your children's sake. I would never ask for a child to be brought up with parents separated. But, for me it's a tough situation, because there aren't those commitments so it's easier to say good riddance. But, like I said it's been six years so it's hard to just say goodbye, but it might be the best answer.

They split for awhile then got back together. So even with me in the picture, a break from one another occured.

[Darth Biscuit]

For this situation I can understand staying together for your children's sake. I would never ask for a child to be brought up with parents separated. But, for me it's a tough situation, because there aren't those commitments so it's easier to say good riddance. But, like I said it's been six years so it's hard to just say goodbye, but it might be the best answer.

There's not a commitment in the marriage/engaged sense, but there is an emotional commitment, so you have to decide if what you've got invested in the relationship is worth saving or not. Not something you can do in a day, or really a week... hard to say how long it will take, but you've got to work out how you feel about her now and if you can ever trust her again. You may be able to put it behind you and move on, but if you find you always wonder and don't really trust her, then it's not worth the heartache.

[Guest]

26

So she's been with you since she was 20-ish? That's pretty young to be committed to one person, imho.

Like I said, I'm really sorry for you. I know what I would do (split up) but take some time and think it over, without her around you. On the bright side, you aren't married so you don't have the bs with lawyers, custody, alimony, etc. to deal with.

[cultclassiccat]

I know your pain. Ive been on both sides of the situation. Be happy KRed, youre young and healthy. Keep your head up and time will be the healer. Dont let the bad feelings bring you down to where you question other things about yourself. She was wrong...dont you feel bad about it. If your a nice guy dont let her flip it on you ie. "you werent there for me bs". Use this to play the field without any guilt and see where you stand after a few months apart. It could be a blessing in disguise.

[RedMage138]

No matter what she tells you, if she did it once, she will do it again. When someone cheats in a relationship that's been going on as long as yours has, the hurt really never goes away.

You've gotta take some time away but, honestly, kick her ass to the curb.

[g5jamz]

Treat her with respect in whatever you do. People make mistakes, BUT it's your duty to make sure it doesn't happen to you again. You've been pretty committed for how long with this chick and she dismisses that by going out, lying, and farking a dude? What do you think will change that would make her act differently the first moment there are "issues" in a marriage. Now introduce kids to the situation and how messed up that's going to be. What if this happened post-marriage and kids.

This is about trust pure and simple. She's lost it.

[charlotte49er]

So, my girlfriend of almost 6 years cheated on me on Sunday. I was honestly close to proposing, but we kept having arguments here and there that kept me from committing. He was a random guy that works in her building.

I really don't know what to think. She is honestly not that type of girl, but in a way I feel it's my fault for not fully being there. I started a business 3 years ago and financially it's been hard on both of us and I've been focusing a lot of time on it. But, I still feel that there is no excuse for what happened.

I'm 29, and really feel lost. She is begging me for mercy. She said she didn't know what she truly had until this happened. She realizes the difference in a gentleman and a player now, but all I see in her when I see her is betrayal and him. A part of me wants to forgive her, but I feel like it's because she is literally all I've known for love. I might sound like a doucher, but it hurts pretty bad.

Has anyone been through this? Gotten back with someone that cheated on you? Left and found someone?

I'm sorry to hear that.

People (men & Women) have a million reason why they cheat.

Too busy working

Doesn't work enough (lazy)

doesn't pay attention

pays too much attention (jealous)

on and on.

I worked with a psychologist about 15/17 years ago. She was working on a paper on why spouses cheat. Men #1 answer was SEX. (Why else would Bill Clinton have sex with some of the women he was accused to having sex with?) Women's #1 reason was Intamacy.

Now things have probably changed in 15 years. Studies really only have a lifespan of a few years.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope it all works out for you.

One thing. If you decide you want to make this work. You can always go to couples counciling. Check out United Way organizations. They are usually a little cheaper than other councilors.

[DC Amp]

I didn't get past the first page but ...if it were me I would tell her, "I hope you loved that weenie and hope he has plenty of room for you, Get ya cheatin' ass out of my life 'cause there are other girls that would just love to take your place!"

Cheatin' Bitch!

[Ivan The Awesome]

Man, where to begin. It's always a co-worker. I've noticed that.

I'm not inside your mind to know how you're going to react. I know I was a very impulsive person. Madness was not even close to describing what I felt when she did this to me. It's something that I can't wrap my head around. Unlike her... Infidelity is one of the worst things in the world. Especially when you're loyal. When you love someone a lot.

At the time I know I didn't see it, but time always heals wounds. Give time, Time. I'd say take the high road man. Karma will take care of the person. Trust me. Spend time with your bro's or bro-ettes. Get out, live life. Life will go on regardless. Just take it easy and know she was not the one. The sooner you realize this the better off you will be.

Take care bro.

[Wyank]

Look on the bright side. If you chose to, you are about to become a free man again. No handcuffs. No chain. No lease.

[Skew]

No matter what she says, she had been planning it for a while. I'm pretty sure she didn't just trip and fall on his cock.