Lazy Pot Head Teen Problems

[Iceberg Slim]

Tough one, and for what its worth I am a parent so I get where you are coming from. But IMO, kicking him out is not an option without him having somewhere to go. I say this because jail time is soon likely to follow as he will try and make it the best way he can. Here is another option, job corps. They train him in a trade and take care of his room and board in exchange for him working, wherever. He will soon learn that living like that is a pooty way to survive and I am guessing he will make a change for the better. You solve to problems with that solution as you get him out the house, thereby upholding your rules and secondarily he gets to see how bad life can truly be. If you are interested here is the link to job corps

http://recruiting.jobcorps.gov/Libraries/pdf/english_e_brochure.sflb

[Skew]

My parents kicked me out before I finished high school and look how I turned out.

(OK, bad example). But I now look at it as one of the best things my parents ever did for me.

And I know exactly how you feel. I left my son in jail last night without bailing him out because of his latest bullshit lies. It wasn't easy to do, but he just wouldn't stop the lies, bullshit, and shitting on everyone trying to help him.

http://arrestinquiryweb.co.mecklenburg.nc.us/ArrestAndCharges.aspx?FirstName=DYLAN&MiddleName=TAYLOR&LastName=COCHRAN&PID=246996&ArrestNumber=1534020&BrowseLastName=Cochran&BrowseFirstName=Dylan&BrowsePID=&BrowseArrest=&BrowseArrestDate=&BrowseLastDayArrests=

He's completely on his own now.

Good luck.

[lymelizzard]

First I want to say, I know we have a lot of weed smokers here, and I am not completly against it, but some people just cant be on it. It effects them too much. I know people who are completely funtional smokers, and some that are complete dead beats. This kid is a complete dead beat, sense he started smoking.

So, I got this dilemma at home, and could use a little advise. I just want to make sure I am thinking correctly. Some of you guys may remember a while back (few years ago) I made a post about my step son who I caught smoking weed at 16. Well the problems never stopped from there. At the time when he first started he was doing good in school and really didnt have any behavior issues. All that started changing really fast. Now he is 18 and a JR in high school. He is failing nearly all his classes, and has become a bit of a rebel. He has no job, he has had 3 cars and has tore all of them up. He just got a 92 Honda Civic, and blew the motor less than 24 hours after he got it. He is a complete train wreck and will not listen to anything or anyone.

About 2 Months ago, he descided he was moving out. He was tired of living by our rules. Now keep in mind, he has no car or job. He left without telling us anything. It was 2 days before his friend Evan's Mom called us and said he was staying with them. She let him live there for a few weeks, before he wore out his welcome there. She kicked him out because he was bringing her son, who is an A student, down. Well, he tried for a few days to find somewhere to live, and learned quickly that no one wants a lazy unemployed pot head teen living with them. So he came back and asked if he could move back in. By this time, I had given his room to his sister. We have 3 kids and the 2 girls shared a room, up until he moved out. I told him he could stay here and sleep on the couch. We would make a place to keep his belongings. I gave him a few simple rules. One of which, was that he would be drug tested and could not fail the test, if he was to live with me. He has been a complete nightmare sense he got back and expects us to just give him everything he wants. 2 weeks ago, I pulled him to the side and told him I was going to drug test him, and he told me he knew he would fail. So I asked him if he didnt believe I would test him, or if he just did not care. He could not answer. I gave him another 2 weeks to get clean. I tested him yesterday and he failed the test. Now, I made the rules very clear when he moved back in.

My question is this, am I wrong for kicking him out with no where to go? I dont feel sorry for him, but I know he has no where to go. My wife (his Mom) supports me and is really tired of all of this as well. I think she actually gave up on him before I did.

Sorry this was so long. Thanks in advance for reading and your input.

It could be a multitude of issues. Just a couple things though the drug test [thc] stays in your system for over 30 days if he was a heavy smoker he would still pop + even if he did quit. 2nd the drug use may be self medicating of a underlying mental health issue or personality disorder that needs to be treated.

[rodeo]

2nd the drug use may be self medicating of a underlying mental health issue or personality disorder that needs to be treated.

This was my thought. If he's unable to function as a human, as it sounds, he may have some anxiety or depression issues so he's trying to separate from his senses.

[Mrs Pantherfan]

My parents kicked me out before I finished high school and look how I turned out.

(OK, bad example). But I now look at it as one of the best things my parents ever did for me.

And I know exactly how you feel. I left my son in jail last night without bailing him out because of his latest bullshit lies. It wasn't easy to do, but he just wouldn't stop the lies, bullshit, and shitting on everyone trying to help him.

http://arrestinquiry...eLastDayArrests=

He's completely on his own now.

Good luck.

holy crap, skew..looks like he got beat in the face with some hot dogs! :)

did he wreck?

[Iceberg Slim]

holy crap, skew..looks like he got beat with some hot dogs! :)

did he wreck?

Thought the same thing, looks like a pretty bad wreck. He is lucky in two ways, one he is still alive and didn't kill someone, and two his bond is fairly low. I noticed he is 28, just my opinion he shouldn't expect you to bail him out, he is a grown ass man...me thinks you are doing the right thing, kids need to stop taking their parents for granted

[pOpCoRnPoPpEr]

My teen years were hard, many troubles and actually drugs were the least of them. I was kicked out at 16. Shocker i know but i didn't finish highschool. Its was tough times then. Homeless actually but it made me who i am now. I say buy the kid a tent, give him a few bucks and a kick in the pants. 18 years old and still a Jr? Sorry but the kids got to learn the hard way. I was soo worried when i became a dad that my daughter would turn out just like me. She is in many ways, all the good things she picked up on and none of the bad. She's the best and i believe i did a great job. But the thing about it, i was ALWAYS THERE, always in the picture. Band practice, there. Cheerleading, there. Softball, there. School plays, there. And so on and so on. LOL she never had time to get into trouble and yes i picked her friends and who she could and couldn't date. Call me whatever but it worked.

[NCstoner420]

There are only two ways for this to end, he screws up and figures out how to fix it or he screws up and stays screwed up. It doesn't matter what you do or someone else does, if someone lives to have a screwed up life they are going to stay that way.

I used to break into houses, cars, anything that I could just for the fun of it. I stole money from time to time but I simply enjoyed breaking and entering. Some guys I knew got caught one night when they went without me, ratted me out and I got in trouble with them. I saw the big picture at that moment and changed my life but I didn't change it because of anyone trying to help me, I had to see it for myself.

[Mrs Pantherfan]

why doesn't he have a job? what does he do all day..just sit around get high???

[g5jamz]

http://www.military.com/Recruiting/Home/

Give him a ride to the station.

[Skew]

holy crap, skew..looks like he got beat in the face with some hot dogs! :)

did he wreck?

Stole his grandmother's car Saturday, got in a wreck, went to the hospital. I went to see him there and he explained what happened (all lies I found out). When the hospital released him, the police took him away. I was going to bail him out, then the police told me he had alcohol in his system. He also injured someone in the car he hit. He's lucky he wasn't charged with Grand Theft and a DWI.

[pOpCoRnPoPpEr]

http://www.military.com/Recruiting/Home/

Give him a ride to the station.

Hell, he's got to graduate 1st..

[Jeff L]

Going through similar problems with my almost 18 year old. He didn't want to follow any of my rules so I asked him to leave. He moves in with my mother-in-law who worships the ground he walks on and has been there for almost a month now. He recently told my wife he smokes 3-5 times a week and has no plans on stopping. I love him but will not allow him back in my house as long as he is smoking and not following the rules... The wife hates it; I told her to choose him or me because one of us wasn't living here. Thankfully she chose me!

Good luck brother... You have to make choices that are in the best interest of your entire family a.k.a your two daughters.

[Donald LaFell]

your son sound super lazy, where is he getting the money for the weed? I would focus less on the weed and more on him getting a job. If he passes a drug test for a fast food joint or cashier at a grocery store odds are they'll never test him again. At the min he could be a function pot head. I know functioning pot heads and they're losers overall who are destined for dead end jobs, but it's better than being a hobo.

If he's not smart enough to at least pass high school then I don't see bright things in his future, he must be REALLY disinterested.