Dear mom,

[Herbert The Love Bug]

Why you gotta be so mean. I'm your baby.

Always waking me up at 5 PM, tell me to go get you some Pizza Hut and get you a personal pan pizza, and a Mountain Dew Fountain drink. They always give me a 2 liter and that is always unacceptable to you. So then I have to go out again a get you a fountain drink at the gas station. Mom, there are scary people at the gas station. Why you gotta do that to a son?

Dear mom, sometimes I just want to get chinese.

Dear mom, why you always wanting me to swiffer sweeper the walls and do the litter boxes? You have no job. Can't you do it? Please just for once.

I'm struggling with our relationship mom. Can't we go back to the days when we worked in the garden together, trained our kitty cats, and collected furbies.

Please mommy, hold me close like you used to. I need to feel your warm embrace.

I know I'm too old to still be living at home, but you don't have to be so mean all the time.

Dear mommy, it bugs me so much that you shaved your head. You aint no boy mommy.

I know I nearly killed you when I was born. It wasn't my fault I was such a big baby. I'm sorry mom.

Please, can we get our relationship back to how it was in the good old days. I miss laying in bed together and watching movies with the cats.

Let's get that back mom.

bitch

[Chimera]

weaksauce

[Henne Given Sunday]

9/10

[Hugor Hill]

Dear son,

You're almost 50 years old, don't you think it's time to move out and find a wife?

sincerely,

your loving and devoted mother.

[charlotte49er]

Dear Mom,

Thanks for raising me right. Oh, there may have been a few anxious moments along the way, but I turned out pretty good.

Thanks for teaching me how to treat a woman. That there is a difference between some women you date and some you marry. How I turned out NOT to be a Mama's Boy, still make me wonder sometimes. LOL

That for picking me up and reminding me that when I blew out my knee and was never going to be a pro football player. You reminded me that God gave me brawn and brains. That is was time, I got off my butt and used the other gift. That has take me a long way. All throughout my life in fact!

Thanks for being the Classic Jewish Mom. I still tell friends that you could have laid a guilt trip on the Pope! "I don't want to tell you what to do, after all, it's your life. BUT if was me.............But no one asked me, so I'll stay out of it." :D

Thanks for telling me "I told you so." at the small things and not telling me "I told you so" at the big things.

I'm sorry things didn't work out with Diane. I know of all the women I ever dated, she was your favorite. Sometimes, 2 people just want different things.

I'm sorry I couldn't cry at your funeral. I wanted to, but I kept hearing Father's voice telling me "real men don't cry"! Schmuck!

I know you didn't always understand me, but you always tried. And for that, I'll always be grateful. I never told you that MENSA asked me to join them out of college. I turned them down.

And thanks for the care packages of candles and batteries when Hugo hit and the Gold Bond Power in Saudi.

One last thing Mom. Don't lay a guilt trip on God or Jesus!