Thanksgiving Buzz Kill

[Johnny Rockets]

So it's been a few days but here is a rare serious story from Uncle Johnny Rockets.

I am out with some friends on Wednesday night and it's about 12:45am. I feel my phone vibrating and check and it is a good friend of mine but it's a bit loud and I am having a good time so I decide not to answer and will just check his voicemail in a bit and don't think twice about.

Around 2:30am before I am going to bed I remember him calling and check, but no voicemail so I didn't call him because it was now so late but I had a an uneasy feeling because it was not like him to call so late. The next morning (Thanksgiving) I get a call that he didn't pick up his 6 and 9 year old kids as scheduled for Thanksgiving and his ex wife drove over to see what happened. Turns out he decided to shoot himself an hour or so after he called me. No note, no voicemail, no reasoning.

Not meant to turn into a debate about suicide because yes I think he was a coward and yes I am madder then H*ll for what he has done to his two kids and the people that loved him but one thing that I have taken from this is that I will never intentionally not answer a phone call from a friend again which I have always been bad at doing. He got divorced about a year before I went through the same thing. Never once did I call him where he didn't answer right away and talk me through some really tough times regardless of what he was in the middle of. He was a successful, well liked, good guy who apparently had been dealing with some tough times recently that he told no one about. I can only wonder if things would be different if I had answered that phone like he had done so many times for me.

I have dealt with it all and not to sound like a prick but no need for the thoughts and prayer stuff but more of just a reminder that the Holidays can be hard on some of the people around you and it might not be obvious. Every year I hear similar stories like this but this one hit close to home and I never thought it would.

PS...

Fug you Thanksgiving.

Now back to your regular scheduled Monday Huddle boob talk.

[Mrs Pantherfan]

I wasn't expecting this..I thought it was gonna be about a hooker or some blow or something..dang JR..you're right fug t'giving..I'm ditching both families next year..

[Mvp2014]

That's heavy man. I'm also bad about answering the first time. I think I might change my ways now.

[Darth Biscuit]

That is seriously fuged up not only for his kids and family, but also to put that on you. You can't play what if's in that situation... if you had answered that call, there's no way to know what would have happened. Sounds like you're dealing with it very reasonably, but you might want to talk to someone (other than us huddle idiots) anyway...

I certainly wouldn't think twice about not answering that call... things happen, and sometimes you just aren't able to get to the phone... same as if you had not even heard it ring.

[Hotsauce]

Really sorry to hear man. Completely awful way to leave his family and friends.

[Guest]

that sucks JR

[Epistaxis]

I'm very sorry to hear this news JR.

You really don't know, but it seems unlikely that you would have talked him out of anything. And you may very well feel even worse if you had talked to him. Who knows? He might not have said a thing, maybe just wanted to hear your voice one last time.

Then how would you feel? Just as bad, if not worse.

It is up to us to face our hurdles, no matter how high they appear.

And when you have a family, you better damn sure fight like hell to clear them.

He chose to quit.

Again, I feel bad for you and most importantly his children, I just hope you don't beat yourself up over this.

This one isn't on you.

[thefuzz]

Friend of a friend shot himself about a week ago, honestly that notion seems so wild to me that I can't quite grasp what they must be going through.

Doubt there was anything you could have done, no reason to beat yourself up.

[Johnny Rockets]

That is seriously fuged up not only for his kids and family, but also to put that on you. You can't play what if's in that situation... if you had answered that call, there's no way to know what would have happened. Sounds like you're dealing with it very reasonably, but you might want to talk to someone (other than us huddle idiots) anyway...

I certainly wouldn't think twice about not answering that call... things happen, and sometimes you just aren't able to get to the phone... same as if you had not even heard it ring.

Thanks...yeah I have played that what if scenario over and over again for the last few days but I am over it. I of course will always have the "what if" in the back of my mind but I refuse to let the guilt stay with me.

I visited his ex and kids over the weekend and she and I had a long talk. I did not know her very well and it wasn't easy but I needed to let her know in person that I didn't answer when he called. Neither of us could piece together why he did it but the talk really helped both of us. When I walked out of that house, I walked out guilt free and I think she felt the same.

Funeral today, and I am not going. Dick move? Maybe, but I just don't have any interest in going under the circumstances. I already said my condolences to his family and friends in lieu of going to the funeral and they understand it.

[Hawk]

sorry to hear it Johnny...and sorry for your friend's family...they will pay the most of course.