Parenting Question

[j2sgam]

In my house, the first time your kid(s) do something its on you..After that, its my house and I will do my best to keep things in line as I see fit. The parents dont like it? They can conform or carry their asses.. Thats the funny thing about pissin somebody off if you feel youre in the right, youre right and theyre pissed -get the fug over it...

My son would drop trousers and pee anytime he's outside, but he knows to drop a deuce inside though. We had to really work with him to understand that its only our house he can do that at...Went to my grandmother's for the annual visit, we werent there 20 minutes and DJ was peeing on the sidewalk out back by the pool, all I could do at that moment was shake my head and hose off the sidewalk... That was in June and it didnt happen after that...

[OnlyPantherFaninMaine]

What would I know? I'm just 21. But seriously, I just wouldn't invite them back and if you do, just add some little comments to shed some light on your thinking and what you think of their child's behavior.

[PhillyB]

don't invite them back, plain and simple. you don't have to make it confrontational (if they're that slack on discipline and won't even do you the common courtesy of making an effort to clean up their kid's poo they probably wouldn't listen anyway.)

personally i think you should gorge yourself on moe's, buffalo wild wings and beer, head over to their yard with a laxative and the sports section, and go to town. knock on their door and ask for toilet paper, then present them a doggie bag when you're done. point made.

[MadHatter]

As far as a 3yr old boy can't be controlled. Umm..wrong. A kid that old is old enough to be taught what is right and wrong behavior.Parents just lack the stones to do it because it's harder than turning a blind eye to it.

You are absolutely correct that a child that old is of an age to be taught right and wrong. Parents that let their kids run wild are doing the kids no favors....I guess they think they will miraculously change their behavior when they hit school age. Guess what...they don't.

I truly believe that you begin to teach a child right from wrong...and how to act...from a very young age. You instill that behavior in them over a long period of time using both negative and positive reinforcement.

[Zcustom]

Raising kids is hard enough without having to raise someone elses kids.

The simple answer has already been given, just walk away. That's the most logical answer too but you have mom's feelings to consider. She's in that delicate place where she's craving adult conversation and interaction and she's likely to be more willing to accept that behavior as a means to an end, ie friendship.

You should start with her, convince her that the behavior is grounds for severing the relationship and let HER end it.

If you swoop in and lay down the law she may resent you.

[Mrs Pantherfan]

[Panther'sBigD]

I don't have any kids, but I don't really think the kids are the real issue anyway, rather the inaction of the parents to control them. It all comes down to how strong of a friendship you have with the other father. You can't make someone discipline their children the way you would, but you can give him a heads up as his friend. Odds are his kids crapping in public is not just a turn off for you and your wife, and most everyone else will just take the route of just distancing themselves and eventually cutting ties with them over it. It takes balls to tell someone something that you know will embarrass and might even anger them, but if they're a friend, it's worth doing.

I've been on both sides, having to give someone a heads up that embarrassed and angered them, but that they eventually took to heart and had a positive outcome. I soon after found myself in a situation where another friend had to remind me how to act(no, I wasn't shitting outside. That stopped when I was in my 20s). It was a humbling thing and I didn't like hearing it, but I knew he had a point and I took it to heart and made things right and everything worked out. If people would have the courage to be forthright with their friends over issues before they become overblown, a lot of good friendships would be saved.

Good luck.

[Zcustom]

You are absolutely correct that a child that old is of an age to be taught right and wrong. Parents that let their kids run wild are doing the kids no favors....I guess they think they will miraculously change their behavior when they hit school age. Guess what...they don't.

I truly believe that you begin to teach a child right from wrong...and how to act...from a very young age. You instill that behavior in them over a long period of time using both negative and positive reinforcement.

I got so much flack from people for teaching my son right from wrong from the time he was able to move around.

Best argument people have is "He's too young to understand it"

my response "Well the first day he is able to understand he'll be learning right from wrong, and it's good practice for me"

[Kettle]

i'm really appreciating these good posts. the pie and swag is deserved. i'm not just throwin' it around to neg mr td. which i've now done on all his posts in this thread. :D

[Cat]

Holy poo. He took a poo outside???

You can't do much. Either just stop hanging with them completely or ONLY in environments you are comfortable with.

I have a friend who dropped by one day with her older kids. Her children ran into my house, one started hanging from my stair rails, another wrapped themselves up in my dinning room curtains that I don't allow my child to touch. A few minutes later they were jumping on my bed and rolling around underneath my desk with cords all around them. It was like something you'd see in a movie. I have zero desire to be around people that are like that. Too crazy and out of control for me. I'm also an uptight bitch so i doubt they like the way i do things too.

[Cat]

I got so much flack from people for teaching my son right from wrong from the time he was able to move around.

Best argument people have is "He's too young to understand it"

my response "Well the first day he is able to understand he'll be learning right from wrong, and it's good practice for me"

I did the same thing and looking back I think i may have been expecting too much from him at such a young age HOWEVER i think it also got me into the habit of it and him use to it. Not trying to brag but the kid rarely gets into trouble. Always gets good reports from school. I like to think that's because we spend a lot of time teaching him. I do a LOT of positive reinforcement which is something I recommend starting when they get to an age they can understand it. Positive reinforcement means you have to be thinking a head a lot more. Proactive not reactive.

[Kevin Greene]

Don't invite them back. That's about all you can do.

Yeah, as long as the kid can crap in my yard at will the little bastard can stay home.

[Kettle]

my wife and i aren't uptight, but we do want our things respected. last time they were over to our actual house the kid was trying to use my ottoman as a trampoline. i pulled him off of it twice, and he just thought i was playing. the third time I said HERE, as i just handed him to the father.

its also a problem because i have two dogs that outweigh the kid, and they react to whatever is happening. relaxed, hyper, loving or whatever else the people around them are. so the kids hyper ass gets the dogs going and then he cries when they jump playfully at him.

i'm 95% sure they don't need to come back to my house, and most likely not even the neighborhood.

[g5jamz]

Don't invite them back. I deal with dozens of kids and the personalities run the spectrum. From the kid dropping his pants at the playground and pissing...to the kids that just can't listen...to the kids that don't get involved...to the kids that probably need their asses beat.

Every kid is different and sometimes requires different handling, but if it's a trend you see with multiple kids in the same family. It's a family issue. Limit play time.