Parenting Question

[Kettle]

I know its long, but pie/swag for good advice. Maybe if you make me laugh.

So as some of you know I have a beautiful little girl who is now approaching 6 months old. The wife is a stay at home mom, and is doing a great job with everything she can control. It's the things that her and I can not control that I want opinions on.

Friends of ours have two boys that are 3 years and 9 months old. In my opinion they lack discipline, and some of the parents actions are just like, "oh well". For instance, yesterday on a play date while I was at work the 3 year old was running wild all over the place, trying to pull limbs off trees, being destructive on the playground equipment, and various other things that little boys will do, but in my opinion should be disciplined for. The worst is that he thinks its ok to use the bathroom outside. So he dropped his pants and had a movement in the grass by the playground. Since he had diarrhea at the time the mother made no effort to clean it up, saying something to the effect of, "how am I supposed to pick it up?". No attempt to stop him either. There are many other instances of him acting this way in our home, car and out in public.

The 9 month old isn't quite as bad, but that's just because of his age. He was stealing my daughter's pacifier, and putting it in his mouth. He did this several times without so much as a stern no. Personally I would have given a light slap on his hand if he were mine. You can spank without abusing in my opinion.

I've been complaining in private to my wife about the lack of discipline for some time, and as new parents we don't really know a good way to handle this. I'm to the point that I'm thinking I won't be inviting the family back to my house or neighborhood, and when talking about this option with my wife I site the example of our two dogs. We wouldn't take them to another person's home and just let them run wild, and expect to be invited back. What's different about that and children? Nothing in my opinion.

So I ask the parents of the huddle, what would you do? Tell the parents to control their children, and possibly cross some lines? Not invite them back to your home, and only get together elsewhere? Something else?

[Darth Biscuit]

Honestly... nothing you can do. I assume I met this couple and the kids Sunday... I noticed the same thing.

Some people have the general opinion that their kids can do no wrong... that or they just don't discipline.

Basically your only option is to not hang around them. You can talk to them, but it will do no good, I guarantee it, it will only piss them off in all likelihood.

We have had friends like this in the past... if you like the couple otherwise, simply have "adults only" time... go out to eat, whatever without the kids.

[The Saltman]

I think in that situation discipline is warranted for the pissing and shitting in public.

Besides that children at 9months of age are into the stealing and not sharing phase, thats just what they do. Yelling at them and slapping them for that wont change anything. You just need to keep telling them its wrong and not ignoring it.

Now a boy of 3 years old is going to be hyper and running around, thats what they do. You cant discipline them for that.

But the mother not caring about it is a bit concerning.

[sunbunny]

Don't invite them back. That's about all you can do.

[Mrs Pantherfan]

it's one thing to pee on a tree..but seriously..he just popped a squat and pinched off a growler right there in the grass????? The parents should be bitch slapped for allowing that

[Kettle]

you did meet them sunday biscuit. the oldest was actually well behaved that day, but another of the guests is a day care worker, and did a good job of keeping him occupied.

[Guest]

Yeah, tough one. I'm reliving my past a little, in that my fiancee has a 3 year old daughter (my kids are teenagers)...anyway she has a friend who lets her kids run wild like that. its really tough when the parents wont do anything.

My experiences - in my house, everyone follows my rules, guests and kids of guests included. I have no problem telling a child to stop doing something destructive in my house, if their parents won't. If the parents get bent out of shape, f 'em, they need to grow a set of balls and discipline their kids. Outside your house, its anything goes I guess. Either arrange get togethers with the adults only or grit your teeth. :)

[4Corners]

thats awesome the kid used the bathroom outside

[holderoftruth]

That's disturbing that the kid took a poo on the lawn... Parents should be punished for that not the child.

[Henne Given Sunday]

MY son is 3, and we are having trouble with him not listening at school and hitting. Now I'll be honest, I am 24, and I sometimes play rough with him, cause hes my little guy and he likes iron man, the avengers, transformers etc etc. We are seeing the rough-housing transitioning into him doing that at school or with friends. I no longer play that rough with him, he asks why, i tell him i can't until he learns that WE can only do that cause I am daddy and "im big and strong" (thats what i tell him lol)

Well its working, hes been great in school recently, and things are better. The parents of that 3 year old not showing any type of care in the world is SMH-worthy. I get mortified if my son does anything he's not supposed to do in public, and I make sure he knows about it. I believe in decipline as well, and spanking as well. I know for a fact it straightened my ass up when my mom would pop my face.

I think for you, personally, the only thing you can do, is not invite them over anymore. Telling them how to raise their kid isnt your place imo. Just don't invite them to hang anymore and you'll be golden.

[Kettle]

thats awesome the kid used the bathroom outside

it really isn't. my wife suggested getting a doggie bag from the nearby station, and thats when the mom gave the excuse of not being able to pick up diarrhea.

[Darth Biscuit]

you did meet them sunday biscuit. the oldest was actually well behaved that day, but another of the guests is a day care worker, and did a good job of keeping him occupied.

Yeah, I could tell Sunday that the older one pretty much runs wild.

I don't think there's much you can do other than keeping your daughter away from it...

[Davidson Deac II]

Don't invite them back. That's about all you can do.

Not true. You can take out the parents kneecaps with a baseball bat.

Not that I am recommending that. :)

[The Saltman]

lol the kid is basically a dog.

Good parenting.