Bassist Joke Thread

[Jbro]

How can you tell when a bassist is out of tune?

His fingers are moving...

Mods this could get ugly, might want to move to smack..

[Jbro]

What do you call a bassists with a from stick in his back pocket?

A roadie!!!!

[Guest]

How do you get a bass player off your front porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

[Jbro]

Thats low.... You are gonna piss some people off.

[Jangler]

A man went to a brain store to get some brain for dinner. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offered at this particular brain store. So he asks the butcher:

"How much for Engineer brain?"

"3 dollars an ounce."

"How much for doctor brain?"

"5 dollars an ounce."

"How much for bass player brain?"

"90 dollars an ounce."

"Why is bass player brain so much more?"

"Do you know how many bass players need to die to get one ounce of brain?"

[Zcustom]

What do you call a bass player who just broke up with his girlfriend?

Homeless

[Dpantherman]

Jase.

[Jase]

What do you call a bassist that just broke up with his girlfriend?

Homeless.

[Jangler]

Johnny starting playing bass as a child, and his encouraging mother always kept his spirits high and made him proud to be a bassist. One day he came home and said, "Mommy, Mommy! Today in school we did numbers, and most kids only got to ten, but I went to twenty!"

"That's Great Johnny!" his mother replied, "That's because you're a bass player!"

Excited, Johnny ran upstairs and practiced the bass.

The next day, Johnny came home saying,"Mommy! Mommy! Today we did the alphabet, and everyone else stopped at P, but I made it all the way to Z!"

"That's Great Johnny!" his mother replied, "That's because you're a bass player!"

Excited, Johnny ran upstairs and practiced the bass.

The next day, Johnny came home excited once again. "Mommy! Mommy! Today They measured us and I'm the tallest in my class! Is that because I'm a bass player?"

"No Johnny," his Mother said, "That's because you're 28."

[Mvp2014]

How do you get a bass player off your front porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

:lol:

[Jase]