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Newton Gets the Nookie

fieryprophet

By fieryprophet,
in Carolina Panthers

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fieryprophet Newbie

fieryprophet

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http://www.coldhardfootballfacts.com/Articles/11_4116_Panthers_Claw_Jaguars_16-10%3A_5_Things_We_Learned.html

Blaine Gabbert is a starting quarterback. He has long, blond hair, and his yearly salary is probably more than most people will ever see in their lifetimes. But his Jacksonville Jaguars lost to Carolina 16-10 on Sept. 25, so let's face it: When has a hot cheerleader ever banged a loser?

Jacksonville head coach Jack Del Rio gave rookie quarterback Gabbert the nod to start against Carolina. It was a depressing performance. The newbie completed 12-of-21 passes for a meager 139 yards, along with a touchdown and an interception against a squad that was 0-2 heading into the competition. Gabbert, however, has to get his feet wet someday, and with the lack of talent on the Jaguars, it's probably best to treat the professional frosh like babies at their first swim lesson – drop them in and hope they float to the top. Hey, it worked for Troy Aikman, in the long run.

Gabbert kind of bobbed. It was more like Maurice Jones-Drew was a lifeguard, holding Gabbert's head above water as he swam to the edge of the pool. The Jaguars running back rushed for 122 yards on 24 carries.

OK, Gabbert's a rookie. Can't be too hard on the kid. What did Jags fans expect, him to come out and torch the field for more than 400 yards of passing in his debut? Did anyone see who was yelling "Hike!" on the other side of the field?

Panthers quarterback Cam Newton might have thrown for only 158 yards, but he didn't throw an interception, and his team's Scoreability was 16.56 compared to Jacksonville's 25.7. It's no surprise the Panthers won.

Newton will be hiking up skirts all night long.

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