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Post something you have never told a living soul (besides your significant other)


Hotsauce

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Every once in a while, I wake up late at night a piss in the tub.

Along the same lines... when I was like 8, I got up, opened the bottom drawer of my dresser and peed in it... my mom was not happy. No idea why I did that... but I do remember doing it... never told anyone that story that I recall.

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Yeah it turns out I have very little shame let's see...

Well once I was finger-banging this ugly chick at some high school party and her girlfriend caught me and started trying to beat the poo out of me. I can take quite a beating but since I would never hit women unless it's a matter of preventing serious injury or death (fortunately I've never had to test to see if I could do it even in these cases) this chick kinda did punch the poo out of me and then so did some other fuger who gave me a nice little scar above my right eye with his high school class ring. I'm still not sure why that guy decided it was a good idea to start punching me in the face especially since it was as I was leaving to go to another party. Oh well he has brain cancer and is probably dead now.

poo I've told people about this... oh well now y'all can hear about it too.

edit: forgot the epic part. After a few hours of sleep that morning I drove back to the house this party had happened at, walked right in, and stole the half-full keg of beer that was left. Right fuging in front of the passed out high school drunkards in the floor.

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I used to masterbate thinking about my stepmom when I was a kid.

Can't blame you so did I. She was a piece of work man.

Also: Masturbate is the correct spelling I believe. I'm using my work computer and am to lazy to spell check the word since I don't want to google it.

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When I come home late and have to be really, really quiet.....I sneak up the stairs, go in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg.

Jesus christ dude. That's why they make toilet seats.

:smilielol5:

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When I come home late and have to be really, really quiet.....I sneak up the stairs, go in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg.

:lol: why not just pee outside before you go inside the house when you come hom from your affair... er I mean "when you have to be really, really quite"

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