What should I do in this situation

[Johnny Rockets]

i would let her know that you know. don't be confrontational about it. give her the chance to explain. whatever you do, don't involve the kid (in other words, don't ask the kid anything like "have you seen him before" or "what did you do on the way to school" etc). that's my two pennies.

X 2

Ask without confrontation...if you don't ask then all you can do is assume which is not a good thing. What is odd is that it seems she isn't going out of the way to hide anything if you heard the guy at the front door which means:

A) There is a reasonible explanation. B) She is not bright enough to do a better job hiding it. C) She doesn't care if she gets caught and kind of hopes you find out........lets hope it is "A". Best of luck.

[DC Amp]

not the smart approach.. that's the approach that gets you nothing in return other than being "the jackass" in the situation. (whether it's warranted or not)

she doesn't know he knows.. don't go blowing up her phone and being retarded.

In my book "the smart approach" is to put an end to any cheating ideas before they get started and to instill the understanding that this kind of behavior will not be tolerated by me at all. You will not make a fool of me so let's get this straight now. I don't like waiting until it's already happened to try and fix it. I wouldn't be against the dad visiting his child but the family group thing don't work. That's just how I would handle it. I'm sure others would handle it differently.

[bleys]

In my book "the smart approach" is to put an end to any cheating ideas before they get started and to instill the understanding that this kind of behavior will not be tolerated by me at all. You will not make a fool of me so let's get this straight now. I don't like waiting until it's already happened to try and fix it. I wouldn't be against the dad visiting his child but the family group thing don't work. That's just how I would handle it. I'm sure others would handle it differently.

you can still put an end to "cheating behavior".. before you do that, you can get a baseline read on her.

[Shufdog]

I'm with bleys on this one. You have some VERY valuable information that she doesn't know you have. Hang on to that info. and gather more. If and when the time comes drop that poo in her lap and watch her squirm!!

[bleys]

I'm with bleys on this one. You have some VERY valuable information that she doesn't know you have. Hang on to that info. and gather more. If and when the time comes drop that poo in her lap and watch her squirm!!

I wouldn't hang on to it that long.. I'm just saying, have a quick, simple conversation with her. if she doesn't fess up about what he saw, then drop it on her and see what her explanation is.

[PanthaSan]

Murder/Suicide.

Or this......

[Mayor Qumiby]

Something is up.

How long have you dated this chick....I think the length of time dictates how you react and what your next move is.

Well that's the funny part, we have officially been dating 6 months..however we have been really close since high school and always hooked up over holiday breaks thru college.

[bleys]

Well that's the funny part, we have officially been dating 6 months..however we have been really close since high school and always hooked up over holiday breaks thru college.

ouch... you do what you have to do. I'd play this close to the vest though.

[CRA]

Well that's the funny part, we have officially been dating 6 months..however we have been really close since high school and always hooked up over holiday breaks thru college.

then I co sign Bleys approach....she doesn't need to know you know. Slow play it and see what you can get out with some questions....if you get nothing from her then just throw it in her face and see her response.

6 months is a short period of time.....I would feel better about her not messing around on you if you had dated longer.

[DC Amp]

I understand what you are saying, to see how she's going to play her hand.

I would confront him as well, I would want him to know I won't allow any encouragement on his part other than visitation to see the child. If they are wanting to get back together, let me know now & more power to you!

[Kitten Diver]

My $0.02:

In my experience girls I'm dating hanging out with x-boyfriends at all means they're fuging. I haven't dated a girl with a kid so I can't speak on that situation.

What would alarm me is the over an hour for a 15 minute trip. If she shows up with anything less than $200 worth of groceries or clothes, she's a slut and you should start packing.

[Mayor Qumiby]

Thanks for all the input guys. but here's how it played out she came back into the bedroom and "woke me up" and told me everything. See my girlfriend never talks to him, he calls she wont pick up he tries to add her on FB she declines and he's been trying to get in contact with her but she wants nothing to do with him. So this morning when she walks outside she saw him just sitting in his car in the driveway, she's goes and ask what he is doing here and he was like well if you picked up your phone and talked to me I wouldn't be here and basically he was there to see if he could go see her dance recital which is today.

So yea the situation is pretty weird, but not really what we were thinking lol.

[hepcat]

If you ask her what is going on, your relationship will be over no matter what she says.

Options:

A) "We're just "friends" and he wanted to see his daughter." This answer is loaded because your GF will hate you for not trusting her, although she seemed to want it to be a secret. Probably the best scenario.

B) She lies to you and says the first thing, but you can tell they are really hooking up. If it were me I'd break it off if I found out she lied.

C) She admits she had sex with her ex and is confused, not having her needs met, wants her daughters biological father in her life, and you're screwed.

Probably a can of worms you want kept in the dark, but if you see her with him again, you should probably start asking some questions.

[bleys]

My $0.02:

In my experience girls I'm dating hanging out with x-boyfriends at all means they're f**king. I haven't dated a girl with a kid so I can't speak on that situation.

What would alarm me is the over an hour for a 15 minute trip. If she shows up with anything less than $200 worth of groceries or clothes, she's a slut and you should start packing.

I forgot about that...

which that doesn't even mean they were fuging.. I would assume they were talking things out, which is just as bad.. premeditation..