Curious about women saying no..

[Panthers_Lover]

I just think that, with all due respect to you PL, that is a load of poo.

Any one who blames their infidelity on a lack of sex from their spouse is just covering up for the fact that they don't actually love that person.

I'm not giving them an excuse ... I'm just saying that it can be a factor.

Everyone ... including women ... needs intimacy, and that often, of course, translates to sex.

I also think that infidelity does not necessarily mean a lack of love for one's spouse. It can be a character weakness. It is quite complex, of course.

Again, nothing I'm saying means I condone or excuse infidelity at all.

[boo7382]

I brush my shoulders off on the regular.. if she can't talk or communicate then she shouldn't expect a phone call.

here's where I think people are missing the point...

she says she doesn't want a bowl of grits, so you turn to put them up, but then she moves in to take the grits out of your hand and starts playing with them herself.

happens quite often.. although, I've never experienced this with a mature woman. women in their 20's are more concerned about how they will look while mature women know what they want. (of course this doesn't apply to all women in their 20's. it is rather common though.)

HAHAHAHA :lol: best. comparison. evar.

i love grits.....the food.

[Panthers_Lover]

I brush my shoulders off on the regular.. if she can't talk or communicate then she shouldn't expect a phone call.

here's where I think people are missing the point...

she says she doesn't want a bowl of grits, so you turn to put them up, but then she moves in to take the grits out of your hand and starts playing with them herself.

happens quite often.. although, I've never experienced this with a mature woman. women in their 20's are more concerned about how they will look while mature women know what they want. (of course this doesn't apply to all women in their 20's. it is rather common though.)

my perspective ...

[j2sgam]

Any one who blames their infidelity on a lack of sex from their spouse is just covering up for the fact that they don't actually love that person.

Alas, the lack of sex. Its never been a big thing to me to not have some kind of feelings for a person. Cheated on an old gf, it was never the same afterwards, felt like everyday was a lie... Some people can, sex is just that, no feeling involved...

[bleys]

my perspective ...

that's why in my younger days, I connected better with mature women. they got me. younger girls are too complex because they don't even know what they want.

HAHAHAHA :lol: best. comparison. evar.

i love grits.....the food.

I love grits too... :confused:

[boo7382]

that's why in my younger days, I connected better with mature women. they got me. younger girls are too complex because they don't even know what they want.

trust me. its not just with women. guys too. I swear some of you don't have the slightest clue of what you want.

drives me crzy.

[bleys]

I don't know if this is even in the ball park, but I have always felt your teens are where you hit puberty (physically) and you're 20's is where you grow mentally/emotionally..

I think it's rare to find anyone in their 20's who really has themselves all figured out.. I think my greatest awakening in my very early 20's was realizing I didn't know what I wanted and that was okay.

[Epistaxis]

Yeah, now I see what you are talking about.

Seems like a goofball gal to me, and probably a clothes/house destroyer type if you get her mad.

I'd back away slowly.

[Panthers_Lover]

Well, even a woman like me ... who loves sex ... usually needs more than just a "wanna fug?" to get her going.

[Epistaxis]

For some of us women, the reason to have sex is that we like to have sex. I do feel for guys who are with women who don't want it anymore .... The truth is, these women are leaving their relationships open to infidelity, and then they are going to be the ones screaming about their horrible husbands.

Yes, the men can control themselves and not cheat, but these relationships need to be worked on ... there needs to be love and intimacy and communication to make them work, before it's too late.

I believe this is an interesting concept that needs further discussion.

While at first blush I understand what you are saying, I think in some cases the reasons are more complicated than simple desire or lack thereof.

I am convinced, and so is my wife, that her rather drastic change in libido after having kids is very much hormonal and less important but still a factor is stress levels.

She has actually considered testosterone therapy, but we are both very much aware of the fact that long term data on this off-label use of testosterone could have risks.

It doesn't bother me enough to risk her health, and she isn't annoyed by it enough to go thru with it.

Just wanted to point out that it isn't as easy as the desire is either there or it isn't and can simply be worked thru via communication.

[88 Bronco]

So, sex is really the only endgame. Make that clear, and find a woman for whom that is not a problem. Then, you're good to go.

Ha, that's funny. I think I shall share that idea with my wife.

I am not saying that I am unsatisfied with my marriage. I see sex as a small portion of the relationship. The friendship, company, and loyalty I receive from my wife matters more than getting laid. I merely do not desire to play this game that if I kiss here, nibble there, and lick that, she will say yes after saying no.

[Panthers_Lover]

I believe this is an interesting concept that needs further discussion.

While at first blush I understand what you are saying, I think in some cases the reasons are more complicated than simple desire or lack thereof.

I am convinced, and so is my wife, that her rather drastic change in libido after having kids is very much hormonal and less important but still a factor is stress levels.

She has actually considered testosterone therapy, but we are both very much aware of the fact that long term data on this off-label use of testosterone could have risks.

It doesn't bother me enough to risk her health, and she isn't annoyed by it enough to go thru with it.

Just wanted to point out that it isn't as easy as the desire is either there or it isn't and can simply be worked thru via communication.

Of course, in cases like yours, you are correct ... but still, you communicate and I dare say, you and your wife find ways to be intimate -- whether they are sexual or otherwise. That communication is necessary for all kinds of intimacy and resolution in a marriage/relationship. That's more my point.

[Panthers_Lover]

Ha, that's funny. I think I shall share that idea with my wife.

I am not saying that I am unsatisfied with my marriage. I see sex as a small portion of the relationship. The friendship, company, and loyalty I receive from my wife matters more than getting laid. I merely do not desire to play this game that if I kiss here, nibble there, and lick that, she will say yes after saying no.

Guess I was talking more to the guys out there who are dating and running up against this "no means yes, means no" question.

[bleys]

Yeah, now I see what you are talking about.

Seems like a goofball gal to me, and probably a clothes/house destroyer type if you get her mad.

I'd back away slowly.

a friend of mine got me thinking about this topic.. I try to avoid girls who do not know what they want.

which doesn't mean they are crazy... younger gals seem to be this way.