Crazy Strip Club stories...

[The Saltman]

Ya your mom needs to retire.

[blackcatgrowl]

Coke is stripper gold. I knew a dude who used to deal. Had strippers on his junk ALL the time.

Footnote: I think he's dead. Seriously.

[Dpantherman]

Ya your mom needs to retire.

she told me she quit!!! :cryin:

[KSpan]

Back in college, we went to a local club on St. Patrick's Day and rna into a girl from school, who was just smokin' hot. She starte dhanging out with us by the stage, and shortly thereafter 2 strippers grabbed her and pulled her up on stage to dance. We tossed some dollars, so the strippers started taking her clothes off - the more cash we tossed, the more naked they got her. Song ended with our friend down to her thong and nothing else and my buddy accidentally tossing a $50 instead of a $1.

In Puerto Rico, we went to a club where the strippers put your hands on them whether you wanted to or not and talked super dirty in Spanish the whole time. Crazy hot.

Got a couple more involving going to the clubs with my wife a time or two, but she'd kill me :crazy:

[Hawk]

for your future travel plans...the strip joints in Montreal advertise...

more contact than an NFL game!!!

[4Corners]

You have to marry the girls.

Atleast you can have sixsomes though.

haha

bin Laden is doing that in hell right now.

Except his 73 virgins turned out to be 6 huge black guys fresh out of prison.

[dimbee]

Buddy's bachelor party several years ago... we went to multiple strip clubs. Last one was the Gold Club. We were all poo-faced. I bit a stripper on the ass, and upon doing it, said, "Oh poo, I shouldn't have done that."

We got escorted out with firm hands. :lol:

[sharkkiller]

I was in a strip club here in Greenville, and one of the strippers came by and sat in my lap. It was Service Industry Night, so liquor drinks were $0.75, and we were just there to drink. So me and 3 friends were shitfaced, and soon after she say down, she started talking about having taken a pole. Next thing I know, she is passed out in my lap, and it took about 20 minutes for the bouncers to pay enough attention to come get the passed out stripper out of my lap. She was passed out cold. It was quite hilarious.

[Matt Foley]

Circa 2000, I went into Uptown Cabaret. This girl took me upstairs and started playing with my special purpose. Come to find out she was related to a NASCAR legend and had a kid with a former (active at that time) Panther. I went out with her a couple of times. Can't say any more because I have referenced her on here before and someone who knows her jumped all over me about it.

[pstall]

Ok. Here's mine.

It started at the old Casa Gallarado on Woodlawn(now Monkey Joes.) We are grubbing and drinking and we had a stripper come in and started dancing on our table. Think Nicole Eggert post implants. After she was done and the whole place was abuzz she told my buddy who headed this up to come out to a club with her girls and bring that guy(pointing towards me) with him. My knucklehead buddies didn't want to go to a club with dancers who already want to party with us. Instead they were steadfast in going to the Paper Doll.

As soon as I walked in the door the house band is playing Papa Was a Rolling Stone. To this day the moment I hear that song I have flash backs. Pardon the pun. I go up to this amazingly hot brunette and ask her what can she do for 500. She didn't bat an eye and said to talk to her mgr. Of course I just wanted to plant the seed I was a high roller. For most of the night she is given me great attention and I'm thinking score. Suddenly a large group of Asian dudes is trying to get her attention and I'm like dude don't you see me at work here? One guy gets mad and goes and gets his friends. My crew and them exchange some words but that was it.

Then it goes next level. The same dude walks in front of one of my buddies and is trying to nab this girl. So we start chunking peppermints we got from the restaraunt and a full on brawl takes place.

Stuff is flying. Punches are flinging and guys are all over the place. I'm trying my best to get this girls # and she is THIS close to giving it to me when I get snatched up by what looked like the Big Show from WWE. Then the owner who I swear to God looked like Superstar Billy Graham. He was the old wrestler that had a shaved head and bleached Fu Man Chu and serious pythons.

He is yelling at us and cussing us out and my buddy(the dude who COULD have gone with me to that other club) is wanting to fight, he is pretty good size guy but he would have been killed by this bouncer.

I start shaking the owners hand and saying sir, this is a top notch place and you run a great establishment. My apologies. We will be leaving now.

So we all hop in the van. Now here is where it gets bizarre. The owner of the van was a paraplegic. He could use parts of his hands but had to use a device to steer his van. He was TOO drunk to drive us. Our DD was a paraplegic who was DRUNK. So we had to get one dude, who was drunk but not in a wheelchair, operate the steering wheel and the pedals at the same time.

Meanwhile we are hammered in the back and laughing the entire trip back to Rock Hill. So we go to a club down in Rock Hill. All I remember is leaving the strip club and then waking up with some girl from Winthrop on top of me outside in the ampitheater. This was the kind that had concrete built into the grass. I come to and my back is killing me. I walk her to her room. Go to my vehicle(yes I drove). I sit on the passenger seat and look for my keys but no luck.

I end up walking 3 miles to a buddy's house to crash. The next day I go to my truck and my keys where in the seat on the passenger side.

And I lived to tell it.

[The Saltman]

Circa 2000, I went into Uptown Cabaret. This girl took me upstairs and started playing with my special purpose. Come to find out she was related to a NASCAR legend and had a kid with a former (active at that time) Panther. I went out with her a couple of times. Can't say any more because I have referenced her on here before and someone who knows her jumped all over me about it.

Girls actually get with you??

:lol:

[Davidson Deac II]

I was in a strip club here in Greenville, and one of the strippers came by and sat in my lap. It was Service Industry Night, so liquor drinks were $0.75, and we were just there to drink. So me and 3 friends were poofaced, and soon after she say down, she started talking about having taken a pole. Next thing I know, she is passed out in my lap, and it took about 20 minutes for the bouncers to pay enough attention to come get the passed out stripper out of my lap. She was passed out cold. It was quite hilarious.

Same thing happened to me at a club in Winston. Girl was drunk and fell right into my lap and just laid there for a while.

[The Saltman]

you sure it wasnt your good looks?

[tarheelblue89]

Stripper bled on me. I don't know where from, but I have a pretty good idea.