Who here is going to tryout?

[Lumps]

I once had sex on a football field...the grass felt nice.

[Montsta]

I once had sex on a football field...the grass felt nice.

Sticking your dick in a gopher hole does not sex on a football field make. :D

[Future of the Funchise]

They don't call me Future of the Franchise for nothing. I've been waiting a long time for this lock out.

NOW'S MY TIME TO SHINE BITCHES.

Measureables:

5'10"

220 llbs

4.6 40 before I picked up my pack a day habit... It's about 5.5 now lol.

Bench 225 10 times

Vertical leap is incredible from my years of playing basketball and skateboarding

Plus I'm black so of course I'm a natural athlete.

Running from the police gives me the natural instincts needed to play the tailback position, and with my size and history of violence I can be that bruising back the team needs.

[SCP]

I'd make a good DT. But I'm only good in a 1 square yard area. Quick bursts, athletic beast, but lacking stamina.

Ht- 6'2"

Wt- 260 lbs.

Bench - 425 lbs.

Squat - 565 lbs.

Incline - 350 lbs.

Power Clean - 315 lbs.

40 yd - 8.2 seconds

I only play when it's below 60 degrees.

[C47]

They don't call me Future of the Franchise for nothing. I've been waiting a long time for this lock out.

NOW'S MY TIME TO SHINE BITCHES.

Measureables:

5'10"

220 llbs

4.6 40 before I picked up my pack a day habit... It's about 5.5 now lol.

Bench 225 10 times

Vertical leap is incredible from my years of playing basketball and skateboarding

Plus I'm black so of course I'm a natural athlete.

Running from the police gives me the natural instincts needed to play the tailback position, and with my size and history of violence I can be that bruising back the team needs.

[FuzzyPanther]

I thought scabs were hired only in the case of a player strike and not a lock out?

That is true, however, this could become a "strike" if the owners (through things more complicated than I will explain in detail... and this is a drastic over-simplification, but it's a plausible scenario) simply create a new CBA of their own, and continue with normal business under that plan. If the players don't agree with this "entirely owner-created plan", then they are, in effect, striking. The owners would then be able to field scabs.

Now, I know this thread is completely based upon making up funny stuff, I will absolutely be walking on if it's an open tryout. I give myself less than a 1% chance of making the first cut, but I do train for general fitness, have played "amateur/semi-pro" football the last few seasons, and have had just this opportunity in the back of my mind for at least a year. I don't care if I get kicked out of the building...

what if: I get issued a Panther Helmet and Jersey, if only for an hour? I get coached by an Panther Coach (Rivera) for even a day? I actually made a cut? I actually made it to a scrimmage or pre-season? I actually made an NFL roster, and suited up for an NFL game?

Any of the above would be "dreams" for me, and 5 minutes after I was cut, the stories I would tell about the experience would be bigger and better than the last... but for a split-second, I was a player for the Carolina Panthers, and nobody can take that way.

Reality check: Yeah, I'd get kicked out of the building immediately. However, I'm allowed to keep my unrealistic dreams as long as I wish. To add something even funnier for you guys to laugh about: My wife and I have discussed this very thing, she supports me, and thinks I have a strong chance of making the team. (I know that this is not possible, but find it endearing that my wife is so admiring [read as: ignorant] of my athletic ability.) Also: I'm so embarrassed that I even comment in this type of thread, it makes me feel like the uncle from Napoleon Dynamite. Dreams and hope and underdog stories and the like just bring out something in me, and I couldn't help it. Well, let the flaming begin....

[fitty76]

Prepare to be attacked for being a scab.

[Jangler]

I just vibrate around in circles.

[Guild]

What position doesn't have to run, catch, throw, or in general use much strength?

Oh I know I'll be the fourth WR on the Panther's squad.

[Future of the Funchise]

What position doesn't have to run, catch, throw, or in general use much strength?

whatever position armanti edwards plays...

[Anybodyhome]

Team health guru:

[Mr ocho nueve]

Where's Adam Sandler when you need him?

[CatMan72]

I'm the white Jamarcus Russell

[Mr ocho nueve]

I thought scabs were hired only in the case of a player strike and not a lock out?

I know this thread is in fun but what if instead the players went and played in a up-start league

UFL will get good ratings then.