Serious (Sad) Question

[g5jamz]

My wife and I lost twin girls at birth, but honestly I don't know how I would respond either to a situation where one survived.

Man...I can only imagine the emotional roller coaster that family is going through.

Don't send a card. Send a letter explaining how you cannot comprehend the emotions they might be experiencing. Don't relate it to anything YOU personally have gone through, but offer a hand in whatever you could offer in whichever way they would see fit.

As for telling the surviving twin? Absolutely. My kids know of the twins that came before they did and, I think, have a better understanding of our feelings for all of them.

[Matt Foley]

I had a twin named Dawg.

[Captroop]

My wife and I lost twin girls at birth, but honestly I don't know how I would respond either to a situation where one survived.

Man...I can only imagine the emotional roller coaster that family is going through.

Don't send a card. Send a letter explaining how you cannot comprehend the emotions they might be experiencing. Don't relate it to anything YOU personally have gone through, but offer a hand in whatever you could offer in whichever way they would see fit.

As for telling the surviving twin? Absolutely. My kids know of the twins that came before they did and, I think, have a better understanding of our feelings for all of them.

Great advice, thanks. Would rep if I could.

And I'm sorry for your loss. Glad to hear you have a rich family now.

[Epistaxis]

A big box of diapers, some lanolin cream, some hemorrhoid cream, and a big bottle of Scotch would have been the most appreciated gift.

You figure out who uses what.

[CatsMeow]

You definitely would tell the surviving twin, and at a fairly young age. From what I know about twins, they are so deeply connected that the surviving one may sense something missing in his/her life, not even knowing about the one who was lost.

[Darth Urious]

I ate my twin

[Carolina Husker]

Now that is a conundrum.

[SOJA]

As far as the hypothetical question, I feel like you have to when is a different question, if you tell them early it may not mean anything to them, if you tell them late they might be pissed that you never told them

[Hawk]

I ate my twin

interesting thought....but true story...my mom thought she had a miscarriage when she was pregnant with me..went to the doctor and he told her she was still very pregnant. We figure I kicked the other one out....or a more likely story, even before birth, people couldn't stand me and my twin aborted rather than be stuck in there with me!

[CLTPanther]

I saw a thing on discovery once that claimed twins start showing dominance in the womb, such as one twin kicking the other or taking up more of the room through force.

[Hawk]

I saw a thing on discovery once that claimed twins start showing dominance in the womb, such as one twin kicking the other or taking up more of the room through force.

ya, saw that too. Threw in the last past because I figured if I didn't, one of you would!!!!!

[g5jamz]

Twin-twin transfusion is common in identical twins...that's what happened to our girls. One felt like she was in jeopardy and created a bunch of extra fluid which made my wife's body think it was time @ 26 weeks.

[Cat]

Well we got the one issue sewn up; blank card. Good idea there. Hadn't thought of that.

Now for the hypothetical: If you were the parent, would you ever tell the surviving twin that they had a twin? If so, when?

oh yes

[Carolina Husker]