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Just got engaged over the holidays

TheRealDeal

By TheRealDeal,
in Huddle Lounge

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FuzzyPanther Newbie

FuzzyPanther

Posted
Posted

The main argument between married couples of low income is money.

The main argument between married couples of moderate income is money.

The main argument between married couples of high income is money.

If you let it (and it's easy to do), no matter how much money you have, finances will absolutely destroy a marriage. Take your vows seriously, and hold yourself accountable to uphold them, make sure your spouse takes them equally serious. If you have any doubts, address them now, and make sure you can spend the next 30+ years dealing with it if you don't.

Now that the ugly parts are over: If it's the right person, the best part of your life is still in front of you. Take care of each other, enjoy the little things, and don't be in a rush to have kids. Congrats!

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TarPanther9180 Newbie

TarPanther9180

Posted
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I was married 9 years and was finally liberated last winter (just a couple more months until official, woohoo!). Here is what I can tell you:

- Remember all the stuff you love about her now, you will hate when you get married and vice versa.

- I hope you relationship wasn't built off of sex, because if it is, it will go down the toilet fast. Sexy time will become RARE! Get used to it.

- She makes the sammiches, not you

- Do NOT let her control what you do. You need to have your "you" time and she does too. If she starts bitching about "guy's night", tell her to STFU and get in the kitchen...trust me on this.

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g5jamz Newbie

g5jamz

Posted
Posted

Few things.

1) Just accept the fact that the moment you say "I do", you're already behind on the chores she's already done and you'll never catch up. So no use arguing.

2) People deal with grief, depression, etc differently. Some constructive...some not so constructive. Don't project your problems on the spouse and ask they do not do the same. People are different...PERIOD. Suggest they not go down a destructive path and don't attempt to shorten the grieving processes. Miscarriages, death of family/friends, parental divorces, etc.

3) Understand that marriage is hard. It's a maturing process two people go through. They may/may not change over time, but it's not your job to speed the process up.

Oh...and give up on sex at will. While it might be fun in the beginning...it will plateau and may cause argument. Recycle the ***** -Chris Rock. No truer words spoken.

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TheRealDeal Newbie

TheRealDeal

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Thanks everyone I appreciate it. We've already been together 7 years and lived together for 2 so at least we won't have to get used to living together once we get married. We get along pretty well and she has her friends and I have mine, then we have a group of common friends.

We don't plan on having kids anytime soon but eventually we want them. If there is one thing my father taught me, it was to respect a woman because if not he'd literally kill me, so I think respecting the vows wont' be an issue.

I just came back to work today and I'm going to spend my day looking at locations and starting to plan the wedding. At first I had the "guy" attitude of "just tell me where to stand and when" but she knows I'm taking more of an interest than that. With our families and friends, it's just going to be a big party at the reception which will be nice.

Oh ya.....OPEN BAR DUDE!

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