Bad First Dates

[Mr. Scot]

So who's got dating horror stories?

[Jackofalltrades]

I have two, leading up to first dates- though the dates themselves were fine.

1. 18 yo, hot Italian chick in Mt. Pleasant, NC. I'm 6'5", walk in their front door and bust my head on a low hanging light. Blood was everywhere. Stopped perfuse bleeding, continued date.

2. 21 yo, didn't care about rules, aka laws. Going to pick her up I passed someone in a no passing zone going double the speed limit. No seatbelt, no license, no registration, etc. 6 tickets and a parked at later I called a buddy who gave me a ride to my parents where I took my dads Lincoln, he was out of town. Got there late, made up awesome story about saving a baby seal and continued with business as normal.

[PhillyB]

Got there late, made up awesome story about saving a baby seal and continued with business as normal.

joats dates must weild a lot of brainpower

[PhillyB]

worst one i ever heard was an old buddy who told me about his best friend's first date with a girl he met. they went out to eat dinner somewhere, and then headed back to his parent's place to watch a movie. the meal she ate didn't sit well with her stomach, and she headed upstairs to use the bathroom while the guy and his parents waited downstairs.

she shat up the toilet pretty bad, and then when she tried to flush it, the toilet clogged. there was no plunger, and she couldn't figure out any way to get it to flush... mortified at the thought of leaving a mess, she opened the bathroom window, scooped out the poo, and threw it all out the window. when she got back downstairs the family was staring at her. then she realized the bathroom window was positioned over top the dining room skylights - the family had watched poo rain down on the window for the last five minutes.

a year later they got married.

[Mr. Scot]

I've let my friends fix me up a lot in the past, so I've had my share.

One of those experiences that comes to mind as just plain odd was with a lady in her late 30s who had a teenage daughter, fifteen or sixteen if I remember right (thinking fifteen).

Anyway, she's talking about her daughter - a perfectly normal thing - but then starts talking to me about how great a body her daughter has...in very frank terms. She literally told me that her daughter could stand to have bigger boobs, but that she had a phenomenal ass. She went on for a good minute or so about how fantastic an ass her teenage daughter had while I listened uncomfortably :sosp:

No problem whatsoever with parents bragging about how cute their kids are, of course, but that got a little strange

[Swan]

worst one i ever heard was an old buddy who told me about his best friend's first date with a girl he met. they went out to eat dinner somewhere, and then headed back to his parent's place to watch a movie. the meal she ate didn't sit well with her stomach, and she headed upstairs to use the bathroom while the guy and his parents waited downstairs.

she shat up the toilet pretty bad, and then when she tried to flush it, the toilet clogged. there was no plunger, and she couldn't figure out any way to get it to flush... mortified at the thought of leaving a mess, she opened the bathroom window, scooped out the poo, and threw it all out the window. when she got back downstairs the family was staring at her. then she realized the bathroom window was positioned over top the dining room skylights - the family had watched poo rain down on the window for the last five minutes.

a year later they got married.

I just vomitted a little in my mouth.

[Matt Foley]

Some of mine were funny, but they pale in comparison to the stories I got from the other side. One girl went out with this guy who had his bird with him on the date. What kind of bird? A vulture. Yes, a vulture.

[Mr. Scot]

Some of mine were funny, but they pale in comparison to the stories I got from the other side. One girl went out with this guy who had his bird with him on the date. What kind of bird? A vulture. Yes, a vulture.

It was before I switched to parrots :sosp:

Can't say I ever considered taking one of the little fellas along on a date, but at least they're not vultures. Who owns a vulture?

[Wither]

a year later they got married.

hahah

[Carolina Mike]

I will just summarize mine.

She was way out of my league, but I found out why I had a chance when we had a great date and went back to her place. Just before I took off her panties she tells me to stop and that she needs to talk to me. JUST GREAT!!! She told me she had a SMALL STD Problem!! I just had to look......YES it was a STD Problem but not SMALL.

For those Ladies out there I was really nice to her and never brought it up EVER. HOWEVER, I never had sex with her (at least that way...lol). I did take her out on a few other dates b/c she was actually a really nice person, but we drifted away from each other pretty fast.

[Wither]

It was before I switched to parrots :sosp:

Can't say I ever considered taking one of the little fellas along on a date, but at least they're not vultures. Who owns a vulture?

Parrots are cool.

No problem whatsoever with parents bragging about how cute their kids are, of course, but that got a little strange

Too bad her daughter wasn't a few years older, eh?

Jooooking.

Not.

[Mr. Scot]

Too bad her daughter wasn't a few years older, eh?

Jooooking.

Not.

Uh huh.

Actually, I went out with another mom who had a daughter. In the course of talking, I had gotten the impression that her daughter was about fourteen. As she was talking about the kinds of things she wanted in a man, one of the things she hoped to find was "someone who can let my daughter just climb all over him and wear him out but still have enough energy to spend time with me after she's gone to bed" :sosp:

That led to another very uncomfortable period. But after a bit of time had passed, just for clarity, I asked how old her daughter was.

She said she was six.

(I then had to explain to her why that response elicited a sigh of relief from me)

[Wither]

Uh huh.

Actually, I went out with another mom who had a daughter. In the course of talking, I had gotten the impression that her daughter was about fourteen. As she was talking about the kinds of things she wanted in a man, one of the things she hoped to find was "someone who can let my daughter just climb all over him and wear him out but still have enough energy to spend time with me after she's gone to bed" :sosp:

That led to another very uncomfortable period. But after a bit of time had passed, just for clarity, I asked how old her daughter was.

She said she was six.

(I then had to explain to her why that response elicited a sigh of relief from me)

Lmao that's another good one.

[House]

I can't really recall any really bad first dates but I did have a friend who package checked a tranny in Singapore who was wearing a skirt and no underwear. Which lead to about 30 minutes of some of the most entertaining swearing and dry heaving I have ever seen.