The Official "How To Explain To The Wife Thread"

[Brooklyn Bully]

Ha, you lose. We'll all tell her the game is at 8:40 PM and she'll have your ass out there at noon to mow.

[Newtcase]

I gave full Panther's disclosure to my wife before we married. Her unconditional acceptance of my unconditional devotion to the Panthers was a requirement.

[Darth Biscuit]

When my wife tells me to do something... I stare at her blankly until she goes away. Try that.

[Malt Liquor]

Go to the nearest gas station and buy two 40oz bottles of the sh*t I got posted as my avatar (211 Steel Reserve) go home drink them sh*ts tell her who the man is in the house. Enjoy the game I don't give a f*ck if she makes more money or you make more money, you the man, so be the man.

GO PANTHERS!!!!

[goncrazi]

When my wife tells me to do something... I stare at her blankly until she goes away. Try that.

This one works better for me:

I say, "Yes, dear" and proceed to screw up the requested action so badly that she yells at me to forget it, she'll do it herself. Then I scamper on back to what I was doing and block out her telling me how stupid I am.

Works every time!:thumbsup:

[sunbunny]

This one works better for me:

I say, "Yes, dear" and proceed to screw up the requested action so badly that she yells at me to forget it, she'll do it herself. Then I scamper on back to what I was doing and block out her telling me how stupid I am.

Works every time!:thumbsup:

I knew my husband posted on here!! Get back to cooking!

[Montsta]

When my wife tells me to do something... I stare at her blankly until she goes away. Try that.

That sounds like a good idea. And it wasn't a night game when I first posted this, it was an afternoon game (1:15 PST, where I am) until it got flexed. And the lawn mowing wasn't a direct request from her as much as a metaphorical reference by me to some husband-poo she is going to ask me to do on a Sunday afternoon. Some of you say "you are the man, tell her f*ck off", but that is no way to speak to the mother of my children, definitely not the key to a successful marriage, and absolutely the wrong way to ever have amazing sex (with her) again.

I will now be DVRing the Bronco game to go to our godchild's baptism this Sunday, and you best beleive that is all the ammunition I'm going to need to not be bothered for the rest of the regular and post season about football.

--- Crucial week 15 Panthers game or watch a kids head get wet. Hmm... Not exactly a tough choice for me... ---

There should be no issues now that it is a night game, so I guess it is a moot point.

[Montsta]

This one works better for me:

I say, "Yes, dear" and proceed to screw up the requested action so badly that she yells at me to forget it, she'll do it herself. Then I scamper on back to what I was doing and block out her telling me how stupid I am.

Works every time!:thumbsup:

You are a god damn genius sir, and should write a book...

[Chaos]

You are a god damn genius sir, and should write a book...

Way to follow up a post regarding a godchild's baptism with this. Stellar, I applaud you.

Now, I must agree with your theory that taking one bullet (with some women) can go a long way. It's all about the leverage; you make a small sacrifice and make sure she's knows it's a sacrifice, and you're good for as long as you can stretch it out.

[Darth Biscuit]

and absolutely the wrong way to ever have amazing sex (with her) again.

What is this sex you speak of? I thought you said you were married?

[MadHatter]

You just need to sit her down and say that Panthers Football takes precendence over chores....plain and simple.

[Superadiabatic]

So I raced home from work telling my wife I couldn't stop and get dog food or milk because this (MNF Vs. The Bucs) was the biggest regular season game The Cats have had. Now, only 2 weeks later, I'm going to be spitting that same line when they play the Giants and she wants me to mow the lawn.

I know I'm not alone on this, anyone have suggestions on how to explain that the Giants game is really the biggest regular season game now? This is gonna take a lot of Saturday Honey-Do list completion I suppose.

It's simple. Football is more important than anything else that happens on Sunday. Well, there's church, too, but football and church don't happen at the same time usually.

Church plus football is about 4 hours. That leaves you several more hours of daylight for chores. And all of Saturday, too. Just manage your time well and you'll be fine.

Chocolate and a nice Saturday evening dinner will help a lot, too.

Failing that, get a new wife, as suggested by others!

[phidelt649]

Or just take the long route and slowly transform her into a Panthers fan. It took about four years, but the little wifey never misses a game now, knows player names (well, Panther players) and understands most things football.

She still doesn't get why a Block in the Back is illegal though. LOL

[Newtcase]

the little wifey never misses a game no

Phidelt, you should should restrain yourself from posting in these threads. You're not married yet and won't be be for awhile Don't pretend to know the hell of the rest of us have endured.....we earned it