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Lord Helmet

Zod

By Zod,
in Carolina Panthers

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Towelboy Enthusiast

Towelboy

Posted
Posted

I'm surrounded by assholes

Dark Helmet: Fire a warning shot across her nose.

[Warning shot almost hits Vespa's Benz]

Dark Helmet: Careful, you idiot, I said across her nose, not up it.

Crosseyed Gunner: Sorry, sir, I'm doing my best.

Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?

Crosseyed Major: I did, sir. He's my cousin.

Dark Helmet: Who is he?

Colonel Sandurz: He's an Asshole, sir.

Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?

Colonel Sandurz: That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major Asshole.

Dark Helmet: And his cousin?

Colonel Sandurz: He's an asshole too, sir. Gunner's mate, First Class, Philip Asshole!

Dark Helmet: How many assholes have we got on this ship, anyhow?

[The entire bridge crew, except for one person, stands up and raises a hand.]

Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!

Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes! [Closes helmet] Keep firing, assholes!

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