Notes and Memos: Preseason I Edition

[Jase]

Dear Joe Reitz:

You're making us look bad.

--White men who can't jump everywhere

...

[Mr. Scot]

[thunderraiden]

Dear Vikings:

Can you deliver these flowers and plane ticket to Ryhs Lloyd and accept this 7th round draft pick?

-Panthers Front Office

[Mr. Scot]

Dear Raven Fans,

Okay, let me try and explain this one more time.

The result of the review is that you get a five yard penalty. Get it? A penalty against your team.

You lose fives yards. You see? This is a bad thing.

In my opinion, you probably shouldn't cheer for this when it happens, but to each his own.

Sincerely,

- Terry McAulay

PS: Put your shirts back on...please!

...

[Jase]

Dear Ron Jaworski:

Thanks again for the tip about catching the ball with my hands; a monday night football broadcast wouldn't be complete without it.

This week in practice I'll remember your words of wisdom, and fight the urge to try to catch the football with my tongue.

-- "Young football players out there watching this game"

...

[Sloth]

Dear Jon Gruden,

How can 32 teams be the best team in the NFL?

-- Football fans everywhere

...