Differential diagnosis...

[lightsout]

Sorry for the lame title, but I've been watching a House marathon for the past 3 hours.

So my girlfriend is unreasonable and I need somebody to vent to, might as well be people I will probably never meet in life.

I am apparently wrong in how I approach people. When communicating, I have a need to be clear, factual, and also make sense. I also need any rebuttal that goes against my point to have the same qualities. I was under the assumption all people were like this. However, apparently, some people can say things and believe it, and I quote, "just because." Now, I've been with this girl for almost 4 years. But she has always been either reasonable or at least pretended to be. Is it just a stereotype of women that holds true or is she just ignorant and incapable of holding a civil conversation? I am assuming the latter, but whatever.

I was also told in this 1 hour argument that I was controlling (at least, in her words, in some things I do and say) and that I have a need to be told I am right. My rebuttal, like I assume is true for a lot of people, was I don't need to be told I am right, but I need to be given reasons as to why I am wrong, or at the very least, reasons why you believe what you believe.

So, am I just a dick, or is she just an idiot?

[Ja Rhule]

When you're in a relationship... you're always a dick.... no matter what.

[Jangler]

does she make a good sammich?

[lightsout]

IDK...every time I ask that afterward, all I get is "shut the hell up" or "go to hell" or some other hurtful obscenity. Which I usually follow with "your sister did!"

And just for clarification, her sister aint bad. About to graduate dental school too.

[lightsout]

When you're in a relationship... you're always a dick.... no matter what.

Which I typically embrace, but given the circumstances of our argument, I didn't want to accept it that easily. The circumstances will remain private unless necessity arises.

[The Link]

Which I typically embrace, but given the circumstances of our argument, I didn't want to accept it that easily. The circumstances will remain private unless necessity arises.

The circumstances must be revealed for us as a group to further assess the situation at hand.

[RedMage138]

Lupus!

...

I mean, what?

[cookinbrak]

She's a female. You can't argue logically with them.

UNLESS you turn the tables on them. Start crying uncontrollably.

[lightsout]

Well, you see, this all stemmed from her making a comment on her dislike for a person that I hold dear to my heart (family member). I just shrugged it off, made the little "eh" sound and let it go. Then, she had to say "oh, you're gonna take up for him? Not surprised. You let him treat me bad." Now, I wasn't taking any side. I was simply not getting involved. So, I told her she was wrong in her assumption, and therefore, an apology would be in order. Miscommunication, "my bad" is all I was looking for. That started the whole "I don't think I should apologize because I believe blah blah blah".

Basically, she's just being unreasonable and ignorant. She is about as good at communicating and debating as a wall. I will also point out that I recently moved back to the western part of NC. She's near Wilmington, NC. 4 and a half hours apart. She goes to NC State, I go to Mars Hill College. So, thus, our problems come out. So, is this a lost cause or should I try logically speaking with her (although, its impossible)?

[pstall]

Women have a higher frequency tuned into emotions while us guy are logic fact and reason.

99% of the time where guys blow it with women is the need to fix it or go into lecture or what have you when the woman really needs you to listen.

They do operate totally different than us. They seem to know this but don't care. haha

The other trap is some women guys are afraid of strong willed women. Umm no. They don't like the drama so they avoid her like the plague.

Focus on being friends. Not being right. I have learned in 15 yrs of marriage that if I win an argument I have really lost. Think about it.

Not saying to lay down and not stick to your guns on things but pick your battles.

[charlotte49er]

I'm 53 years old. The older I get, the less I find there are things to argue about. "It is, what it is!"

[Darth Biscuit]

I agree with Sports Talk, the older I get, the less I argue... however it sounds like you two are pretty well opposites. Not all women are illogical... but with this...

IDK...every time I ask that afterward, all I get is "shut the hell up" or "go to hell" or some other hurtful obscenity. Which I usually follow with "your sister did!"

And just for clarification, her sister aint bad. About to graduate dental school too.

Sounds like you need to re-evaluate if she's the one for you...

[lightsout]

Agreed. Now I'm sitting back watching her be all passive-aggressive on facebook with status updates every couple hours. Fun times.

[The Link]

Agreed. Now I'm sitting back watching her be all passive-aggressive on facebook with status updates every couple hours. Fun times.

If there is one thing I can't stand, it's someone being passive-aggressive. I would call her out on it publicly...