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Tips for Road Warriors, traveling sales people...

TheSaint

By TheSaint,
in Huddle Lounge

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TheSaint Newbie

TheSaint

Posted
Posted

Tip #1. This tip came in handy yesterday after eating leftover pizza Tuesday night.

Being on the road so much, your eventually going to eat something that just doesnt agree with you and will demand a bathroom stop...urgent stop. Yes, that kind.

Truck stop bathroom customers on I-85 are not known for good aim or cleanliness in general. Avoid them, and pretty much any convenience store. Rest stops can be clean, but some times busy, and they are few and far between.

What you want is a facility that gets minimal usage, is generally quiet.

Ive found that your midrange-upper range chain hotels are usually your best option. Hampton Inns usually excel in this category. They all have public bathrooms on the 1st floor, that get little use. People staying in the hotels have their on bathrooms, so they never use these.

There was this one time up on I-40 east of greensboro when i had a major emergency stop. I found a Hampton Inn. I must have been older, as the lieu wasnt quite up to my standards, but in this case, a hole in the ground would have sufficed. While doing what had to be done, someone tried to come in. I said, "im in here". They knocked then, rattled the door, until it opened due to an obviously faulty lock....dude was embarrassed i believe, as he was no where to be found when i walked out...im sure he was on to the next hampton in down the road


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mmmbeans Newbie

mmmbeans

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I was going with the whole Hitchhiker's Guide and throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

The first part is easy. All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt.

That is, it's going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground. Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard.

Clearly, it is the second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties.

One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It's no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won't. You have to have your attention suddenly distracted by something else when you're halfway there, so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about how much it's going to hurt if you fail to miss it.

It is notoriously difficult to prize your attention away from these three things during the split second you have at your disposal. Hence most people's failure, and their eventual disillusionment with this exhilarating and spectacular sport.

If, however, you are lucky enough to have your attention momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by, say, a gorgeous pair of legs (tentacles, pseudopodia, according to phyllum and/or personal inclination) or a bomb going off in your vicinty, or by suddenly spotting an extremely rare species of beetle crawling along a nearby twig, then in your astonishment you will miss the ground completely and remain bobbing just a few inches above it in what might seem to be a slightly foolish manner.

This is a moment for superb and delicate concentration. Bob and float, float and bob. Ignore all consideration of your own weight simply let yourself waft higher. Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful. They are most likely to say something along the lines of "Good God, you can't possibly be flying!" It is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right.

Waft higher and higher. Try a few swoops, gentle ones at first, then drift above the treetops breathing regularly.

DO NOT WAVE AT ANYBODY.

me too.

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