Best pearls of wisdom from your old man.

[PanthaSan]

As I was growing up:

"As much as a woman will love you, she can deliver the same amount of hate if you do her wrong."

"Always stick up for women and the weak and open the door for ladies whether you know them or not. I know this makes no sense to you right now but trust me, it does pay off later."

"No matter what your job, concentrate on being good at it. The money will follow."

"Always work and do your best. Never be late and never screw your boss over even if he has it coming."

Before I went to the Army (my Dad was a Korea and Vietnam Vet):

"When the bullets start flying, it's too late to try and refigure out what you did by enlisting. You have to fight, that's why they give you a weapon."

"If anybody says they aren't scared, they are lying. It's ok to be scared. It's what you do at that point that will dictate if you come home in one piece or not."

"If you truly beleive in what you are doing, right or wrong don't matter. It's like God gives you a pass on going to hell for anything you might do that others will consider evil. The soldier has no time for politicking. He just does what he is told."

"Keep your weapon clean and close. Always"

And this one....

"Try not to get yourself killed. If you die following the family tradition (Special Forces) your Mom will make the rest of my life Hell. But don't be a pvssy either. Your buddies will depend on you to keep them safe and they will do the same for you."

[The Saltman]

Its better to buy sex than to be a bisexual

....

[CharlotteBeer.com]

I'm a bit saddened that in 28 years, I don't have any similar words of wisdom. My dad's a good guy, but he was never the type to teach me many things. My best memories are the relatively few times we hung out fishing or whatever, but we've never really had any of those bonding moments.

He has worked hard his entire life, so I do respect that immensely.

[The Saltman]

actually my dad taught be to be a very generous guy. Help others that can't help themselves. Problem is my dad has helped way too many people that turned around and told him to go *** himself when he needed help. So I am sometimes reluctant to be as generous as I would like. Kinda sad actually.

[Scrumtrilescent]

Son, wish in one hand and poo in the other. See which one fills up first.

[thefuzz]

Just thought of one from idea from another thread. Mainly the bar one.

Dad: Son, it's alright to sex up someone who is not up to your standards...but damn if you have to wake up next to them. Get out when she goes to the bathroom.

[Hawk]

all I got out of him was....kids should be seen, not heard!

[Guest CatofWar]

all I got out of him was....kids should be seen, not heard!

Sounds like my old man. I learned from an early age 3 important things from my dad:

1. Have a weapon with in reach at all times, no matter where you are.

2. Always have a large dog. Mean or not, the sight alone would deter most.

3. George Jones is the greatest singer to grace his planet.

My grandfather (my dad's dad) taught me a lot about Italian guitars, Benellis!

[Epistaxis]

poo in one hand, wish in the other and see which one gets full first.

Flowers are for thank you, not please.

Get a job and keep it.

Don't confuse activity with achievement.

Leave my stuff alone.

Don't slide in to home and end up three feet short.

Someone is always bigger, tougher, faster, or smarter, but they might not want it as much as you. So want it.

Keep your mouth shut. You'll look smarter.

[Miaoww]

"Someone is always bigger, tougher, faster, or smarter, but they might not want it as much as you. So want it."

I like that one.

[Carolina Husker]

Never say something about a person you wouldn't say to their face.

Never burn a bridge (in the business world).

You're not too good to do the work no one else wants to.

Be polite to customer service people. They're not used to it, and sometimes they'll give you free shit.

[mr beauxjangles]

http://twitter.com/sh*tmydadsays

replace the * with i

[mr beauxjangles]

One of the best form above - "don't kiss an ass if it's in the process of sh*tting on you."

[Scrumtrilescent]

Keep your shirt on.

Don't get your panties in a wad.