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The World Cup - translated into American

mr beauxjangles

By mr beauxjangles,
in Huddle Lounge

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mr beauxjangles Newbie

mr beauxjangles

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I thought this was pretty hilarious and wanted to share:

http://theunlikelyfan.blogspot.com/2010/05/disclaimer-im-new-to-this-site-and-im.html

If you're American, soccer probably isn't your cuppa tea. But, due to ESPN's admirably relentless promotion (they'll be unleashing their three Big B's: Bob Ley, Bill Simmons and Bono), you're probably at least a little curious about the World Cup, if you're a sports fan anyway. But when it comes to going the extra mile and actually learning about all the teams, perhaps that sounds like something for which you can't be bothered.

I'm here to help.

What follows is a list of every one of the World Cup's 32 teams, alongside the American sports team it most parallels. Some of these analogies are slightly better than tenuous. Some of them are dead-on. All of them are at least a decent starting point to give you a frame of reference.

One example:

Greece: A team of no importance until they came out of nowhere to win a title, early in the 21st century, that was won almost entirely on defense. Before that, they sucked. Now they suck again. Still dangerous D though.

Greece = Tampa Bay Buccaneers

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mr beauxjangles Newbie

mr beauxjangles

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...

Uruguay: They were the first great team. They’ve been winning it all since the earliest days. But now they haven't won anything in years, and despite this fact, they (and their fans) carry with them an almost revolting haughtiness, allowing a nostalgia-distorted self-image to fuel utterly unrealistic expectations. Maybe it's because of all the Catholicism.

Uruguay = Notre Dame

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PanthaSan Newbie

PanthaSan

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...

South Korea: Haven’t been around all that long. Amazing fans. Incredibly fast-paced offense. Tireless. Relentless. But on D? Can’t stop anybody. Won’t stop anybody. Side note: local government is very concerned about border control.

South Korea = Phoenix Suns

(NOTE – At time of writing, the Suns are inconveniently ripping through the NBA playoffs. If they win the title, I will revise this. But not before.)

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