A little story about explosive diarrhea...

[SorthNarolina]

Ok I had this horrible experience when I was a 15 year old bag boy at a grocery store. One very big reason I am telling this story is because I can't figure out how it happened. The logistics of this thing is insane.

One day I was asked to go clean the bathrooms, It was the middle of the day which was a little odd because I usually only cleaned at night. Apparently a customer had complained about an awful smell coming from the women's bathroom.

A little nervous at what awful smelling suprise was waiting for me, I got the standard kit of cleaners, gloves, and wipes to go fix what I thought to be a standard problem. Maybe somebody just stunk up the joint after a taco salad?

As I arrive I see a hastily scribbled, barely legible "Out of Order" sign taped up to the door. So then I start getting worried that somebody backed the toilet up.

I open the door and the initial woosh of air carries the first wave of stink to my face. It has truly horrible. I just can't describe it.

So I made my way to the handicap stall, nothing there. Move my way to the next stall, nothing there.

Lucky number 3 rolls around. I open the door, and then the grand finale of stink blasts through my nostrils which knocks me back a little.

On the floor, behind the toilet, to the left. I see a little semi solid piece of poo. Nasty yes, but why does it smell SOOOO bad?

I realized I wasn't looking close enough, the stall, floor, and back wall all seemed a little darker than usual. As I really gained my composure and studied the area I came to a horrible realization.

The entire stall was covered in a mist of poo. Like a spray paint can. It was everywhere, in such an even spread it did not look physically possible. I was all the way up to my hip, and I was around 6'2" at the time.

I could see where the discharge hit the wall, then flowed down and puddled in the floor. It was stained in the grout. Unfortunately the poop liquid was too viscous to make it's way to the drain.

The angles at which this person sprayed diarrhea everywhere was truly astounding. I figure if I made a mock up of the human booty, then simulated the rush of liquid doo doo. I would only get the spray coming out at an angle of 40 degrees or so.

But this looked like it came out at 170 degrees. It was almost perfectly symmetrical with the left side having a little less and the right side having a little more.

It just didn't make any sense. Either the person stood at the opening of the stall 3 feet from the toilet and sprayed everywhere, or they stood closer to the toilet and spread their cheeks to allow for greater coverage.

After seeing this I ran back up to the front desk and told them it was horrible. They hadn't seen it so they thought I was just whining because I had to pick up a turd or something. I thought they had seen it which was why I went and cleaned it up after they stated I was the only person for the job.

So I racked up on a bunch of supplies, spent about 20 dollars of the stores money on one of those kneepads people use in the garden and a ton of sponges. I used undiluted industrial strength cleaner which was no fun having to smell mixed with the poopy. As the cleaner reacted with the poo mist it released some horrible gases.

18 hours later I wake up sicker than I have ever been in my life. I was throwing up all over the place. I get to the doctor and they said I just had some severe stomach virus akin to e coli but not that exact same thing. While I was at the doctor I used that time to ask him how somebody could spray diarrhea all over about 36 sq ft of area and he just told me "Sometimes people get really sick." Maybe in Guatemala they do. I've never heard of any of my peers getting sick and spraying diarrhea all over their bathroom.

That answer was not satisfactory. I have googled and googled for years, never finding any explanation. I want answers dammit. How can somebody spray poo in such a manner?

[BF91]

Fug that, I wouldn't have cleaned that poo up without a waterhose.

[Kurb]

Why did you eat the poo?

[SorthNarolina]

Why did you eat the poo?

I was surrounded on 3 sides by poo mist so they said I probably got it through the air. I was wearing a mask a lot of the time too.

[g5jamz]

Have you ever played "The Witch" golf course in Myrtle Beach?

Used to be a common thing with my uncles every July 4th week. We'd all go down and play a round there and a few others. Anyway...if you've played it you'd know it's built in a swamp. To go from hole to hole you have to ride on these bridgelike walkways to stay out of the swamp. There's no passing...one cart at a time going through there. Anyway...we had over 4 people so we had two groups, but we cheated and merged past visual range of the ranger/clubhouse. My brother and I were paired in a cart and my dad and my uncle just left out in front of us. Both probably went around 240-260 each...

We round the bend in the swamp and my uncle AND my dad are grabbing the roof supports of the golf cart leaning their asses out as far as they could off each side. If one let go the cart might capsize. They've got their golf shorts down around their knees and a solid stream of ass juice is spraying out about 3-4 feet into the swamp areas and on the trees nearby FROM BOTH OF THEM. Nothing we could do...HAD to go that route. I'd never laughed so damned hard in my life.

[Hongkongdog]

nasty should have taken a picture of it