The Maid

[Jangler]

http://www.omaha.com/article/20100529/NEWS01/705299813

An Omaha woman offers a different uniform while she cleans house: topless, bottomless or fully nude.

This week, a brochure advertising those services was distributed in the neighborhood near 83rd and Burt Streets.

The business, ODD'Z & EN'Z Janitorial & More, advertises “house cleaning and more . . . in plain or exotic professional attire,” as well as cooking services and child care, according to the flier.

House cleaning by a nude maid starts at $125, according to the flier. Nude cleaning with “satisfaction” is $175.

Carroll said she also offers her services as entertainment for bachelor and bachelorette, birthday and graduation parties. In addition, she offers private shows.

Jerry's maid exits from his bedroom and walks over to the kitchen.

ELAINE (whispering): Why did you get a maid?

JERRY: You don't have to whisper. She knows she's a maid.

ELAINE: Where did you get her?

JERRY: I hired her from a service!

MAID: All done.

JERRY: Thank you. Nice job.

MAID: Is this mine?

JERRY: Yeah.

The maid leaves Jerry's apartment. Elaine smiles at Jerry.

JERRY: What?

ELAINE: Come on, Jerry. You didn't notice?

JERRY: Notice what? She's not really even a maid.

ELAINE: Oh.

JERRY: She wants to be an actress...or a, uh, model...or a dancer...or a...news woman.

ELAINE: Uh-huh. News woman. Yeah.

_________________________________

ELAINE: All right! You're foolin' around with your maid. That is a wise decision.

JERRY: Elaine, do you think I would go willy-nilly into a situation so obviously fraught with potential complications?

ELAINE: You are paying a woman to come to your house and sleep with you.

JERRY: No. I pay her to clean. The rest is--

ELAINE: What? A health plan?

JERRY: I was going to say, "Being a good host."

ELAINE: Oh-ho-ho. Oh.

JERRY: But the point is we have our personal relationship, and we have our work relationship. They're separate and, I think, some what sophisticated.

ELAINE: So you consider this a relationship?

JERRY: Yes, I do.

_________________________________

JERRY: Where you goin'?

KRAMER: Huh? Well, I'm gettin' out of town. I'm gonna visit Madeline for the weekend. You know, this place is lookin' kinda messy. What happened to Cindy?

JERRY: Well, she's here. She just didn't get around to it.

KRAMER: Oh.

Cindy comes from Jerry's bedroom.

CINDY: Hi, Kramer.

She picks up her money from the counter.

CINDY: Thanks, Jerry. Bye.

She leaves.

KRAMER: Well, what's the matter?

JERRY: What did I just pay for?

KRAMER: Uh-oh. You're a john.

[House]

I looked at this thread and noticed that it was more than 7 lines long.

So I thought that it would be easier to give your H.S. a Director credit in my next movie.

Here you ass-holes go.