sad news (not panther related)

[g5jamz]

Prayers from me.

Two of my closest friends had their first child be stillborn, and followed a year later with a miscarriage. The pain they went through was awful, but they now have four happy, healthy kids.

My buddy says the hardest thing for him was not being able to comfort his wife, no matter how hard he tried. He ultimately just had to let her grieve.

There are some things we men can just never understand. Being men, our instinct is to "fix" what's wrong, but some things just aren't "fixable".

Take from what Mr. Scot is saying...your wife grieves one way...you grieve another. Best piece of advice I can ever offer anyone, because we went through two miscarriages and then lost twin girls at birth (premature labor)...is that if you and your wife get angry at one another throughout any of this, just sit down and be honest with your feelings. Tell her you have to deal with it the way you deal with it (but don't be destructive or fall into any addiction), and that you will help her in anyway she needs. It's a matter of being there, not being lectured on how YOU'RE supposed to feel.

[pnthrfrk]

My buddy says the hardest thing for him was not being able to comfort his wife, no matter how hard he tried. He ultimately just had to let her grieve.

There are some things we men can just never understand. Being men, our instinct is to "fix" what's wrong, but some things just aren't "fixable".

this is definitely what kills me. not being able to be in control of the situation. when we first learned we would not be able to save him it was like getting punched in the stomach but there's no way to defend yourself and no one to swing back at. as a husband you take comfort on being able to provide and protect your family. it's almost like being hypocrytical. seeing her cry, telling her to be strong and to not let herself become too overwhelmed only to breakdown yourself when she's not looking. i can't even imagine what she was feeling knowing he would soon pass but still feel him kick and move around inside. the pain we felt when we were initially informed that we had to start weighing our options on what to do with his remains. seriously talking about funeral arrangements for your child while he/she still has a heartbeat is the kind of pain i would never wish upon any loving parent. it has definitely been an emotional roller coaster. we can take comfort in knowing that we still have each other, a beautiful, healthy 15 month old daughter that is definitely giving us strength with her smiles and laughter,and strong support from our family and friends. we will make it through this. we love u Michael, you will always be remembered.

[bigdog10]

So sorry man.

[dimbee]

I'm very sorry to hear that, friend. My heart goes out to you and your wife and child and Michael, may he rest in peace. Take care.

-Dave

[PanthaSan]

Sorry to hear that, Bro. Mama-San and I went through that but we leaned on eachother and got through it. We have had one son since and are expecting Pantha-San #9.

I beleive that miscarriages and still born babies are how angels are made.....

[Hawk]

it's alot more common than you would ever think as well, and I am sure anyone that has gone through it has heard from many of their friends and family members about someone that has had to go through it. Makes you appreciate the miracle it truly is when everything does go all right!

[The Saltman]

Sorry to hear that, Bro. Mama-San and I went through that but we leaned on eachother and got through it. We have had one son since and are expecting Pantha-San #9.

I beleive that miscarriages and still born babies are how angels are made.....

#9? holy chromoly man...u need to donate ure sperm and make some dough...

ps. sorry to get off topic and hope u guys can get through these hard times.

[Samuel L. Jackson]

I was also going to add to the stuff I said earlier...

Wifey and I were going through a rough time in our marriage a while back... We had made progress, and she had gotten pregnant (which was something both of us had been trying to do, and ultimately was probably contributing to said rough times)... We found out shortly after that it was tubal, and her body was naturally ridding itself of the pregnancy... 7 months later (now 26 weeks along) we found out she was pregnant again...

I know it wasn't as far along as what you are going through, but the point is, as much as it sucked and as much as it hurt, it brought us closer to each other in the end... It could have plunged us both back to where we were before, but it was a blessing in disguise, as morbid as that sounds...

So, keep your heads up and try not to dwell on it... Be there for each other, and this tough time will pass... Let it reinforce your bonds with each other and your other child...