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Guy Talk--Women trouble (Warning: Some Photos NSFW)

Dpantherman

By Dpantherman,
in Huddle Lounge

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Zcustom Newbie

Zcustom

Posted
Posted

Listen to the ladies, they know what they're talking about.

Sounds to me like you are just looking to get out there and have some experiences, not settle down and/or find "the one".

In that case I suggest you go to every party you can. Tensions aren't as high at parties as they are at bars/clubs etc. In this setting you will have more commonalities to discuss. ie, "How do you know Heather, I've known her for years". You'll find more "real" girls this way and less "sluts" and "bar flys". Even your average good girl has been known to go to a club/bar and act slutty, just for the hell of it. meeting that same girl in a different setting will often yield better results.

Beyond that, you HAVE to be confident in yourself. I used to be like you, luckily for me I play drums and playing in front of large crowds forced me out of my shell. Find something that forces you out of your comfort zone and do it often.

Good Luck!

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Captroop Veteran

Captroop

Posted
Posted

Don't listen to c0r, Cat is right. Not all college guys cruise for drunk chicks. Just the douches with no game at all. And depending on the girl, you could be staring down a rape accusation.

My gf of 10-months and I just broke up, so I will have to dust off my game a little in the coming weeks and months. Let's see what I remember.

Captroop's Rules for Dating:

It's a long read, so here are my credentials: I didn't have my first gf til I graduated college. I was very shy, and awkward, and sought dating advice from everyone! I have literally tried everything; every piece of advice, and been rejected over and over for years. But through that trial and error process I have found out which rules really work. Now, I should say these are rules for Dating; i.e. finding someone you want to date. I haven't tried using them to hook up. I'm not interested in one night stands, so bear that in mind.

1. Don't be a wall flower. If you're like I was in high school and college, and it sounds like you are, you worry about standing out in a crowd, so you don't dance and you find a nice cozy spot on the wall where you can hold your beer and scope, thinking your avoiding scrutiny. Wrong. Let me tell you, the guy who stands out at the bar, party, or generally any social setting is the guy standing in the corner. If you want to blend in, and NOT be noticed in a good way, get out on the dance floor with everyone else! Stay in the center of the action.

2. Make it known that YOU are interested. Another thing that can be very hard for a shy guy to learn. I am very nice, and very polite by nature (to my detriment). When I used to talk to a girl, I would be polite, just talk in a polite manner, made a conscious effort to look like I wasn't just trying to get in her pants, and hopped on the expressway to the friend-zone.

There are many ways to go about making your interest known (even a few ways to do it tastefully). Some guys like to go really overt; go for a lot of physical contact, spit a lot of game, etc. I am a little more subtle. What I personally do now, is I drop a few sexual innuendos into a conversation. Nothing gross or offensive, pretty innocuous. For example, one instance I can think of, a girl asked me if I was a Virgo, and I said "If you want, I can be a Virgo for you for 10-15 minutes." It's self-depricating humor (shows I'm not a cocky ass), it's light, it's funny, and it shows that you are interested.

3. Don't get drunk. Like Cat said, it's not attractive. I used to get wasted at parties to curb my inhibitions so I could talk to the ladies, but it was more of a hinderance than a help. My buddy David used to get drunk at bars all the time. He had lots of hookups (LOTS of hookups; think 80's Hasselhoff), but no gf. Recently he got drunk, and was trying to hit on a girl. I could just see in her eyes how turned off she was; and she basically had to baby-sit the drunken oaf. Not good.

My friends and I recently all made a pact to cut back on our drinking, mainly so we could get in shape for our trip to the beach. The first week on the plan, we have a few beers at the bar, and David met a girl he is totally over the moon for!

4. Be the Ice-breaker. So here's how David met the dream girl. Normally I'm not the point-man, David is the opener since he is the most experienced with girls and has no qualms about opening. On this night, he saw this girl and was so nervous he couldn't speak to her (I think him being sober for a change was part of the issue), and the fact that she was with a group of friends wasn't helping.

Now, a pack of girls is one of the scariest obstacles for a nervous guy to overcome. It's frightening. But build up a comfort level and it's the easiest thing in the world to do. I see that David isn't going to make a move, so I take it upon myself. I see the girls are super excited that "Party in the USA" came on the stereo, and I see my opening. I walk up, touch one girl on the arm and say "Who is this? You seem to really like it," (Total BS, btw, I know who Miley Cyrus is). I play dumb for a second and then start conversing. Within 30 seconds I have her over to my table. Within 1 minute all her friends join her. I introducer her friends to my friends, and the night just got interesting.

And let me tell you, it is scary. But you owe it to yourself to put yourself out there and take a chance, because these are the fun moments in life. We had a whole night conversing with very nice, attractive girls, one friend got a phone number with a very interested girl, and David got a gf. *Pats self on back*

5. Circulate. Once you start talking to a girl for a few minutes, excuse yourself; leave. Say you're going to get a beer. Then go start talking to another girl. Repeat. And like magic, girl #1, overcome with jealousy, will come back to you. This is more of a band-aid. I've done this a few times (although I don't need to anymore, I can talk to girls without this crutch, but it's a blast for beginners) and it works, and it's so easy. And if you are a shy guy, nothing will build your confidence like having girls fight over you! Once you build up your confidence, you will start doing this subconsciously, and to a much lesser degree; it will just become a part of your regular game.

6. Don't listen to the Pickup Artist (or generally any a-holes with a secret formula for banging girls). I watched his show, and I got a lot of good life lessons out of it, but some of his stuff is just BS. That same night at the bar, when I was talking to the girls, this douche shows up our table and starts running the Pickup Artist Playbook play-by-play. First he insults me and the other guys at the table to try to lower the competition, then he insults the girl trying to lower her value (a pickup artist trademark) saying that she curses too much and will end up like Joan Rivers. Then he asks her name and tries to spit game. Like clockwork, her friend taps her on the shoulder, she turns away, I talk to my buddy, and the pickup artist is totally shut out. He mutters "That went bad quickly," and leaves. We spend the next 20 minutes making fun of him.

7. Be yourself. It's been said a million times, and it's one of those tips that just seems existential, and really doesn't help you meet girls when you are just learning. I hated getting this advice, and I can't believe I'm giving it now. But when you are more comfortable with the women-folk, this will make a lot more sense. If you want to find someone you could date, it's important to let your true personality shine. None of the above listed tips suggest a change in personality, they are vehicles to allow your inner personality to come out.

Sorry for the novel. Hope something in there helps! Go out, have fun. You're young!

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Ja Rhule Grand Master

Ja Rhule

Posted
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Girls love entertainment so be funny around them. Be sarcastic! They will try to bring you to their parties cause you're awesome. Thats where you getting a hook up.

Or just go to a library and try to study with one of the foreign exchange students, it also works.

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