Teen Step-son smoking pot

[TheSaint]

i suggest a field trip to Jamaica.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=b51_1270012109

[o803oVaDeR]

Ok so I finally got some 1 on 1 time with the boy last night. I told him I needed to ask him something, and that it would stay between us. I told him to not lie to me because it would cause things to become worse. So then I asked him if he was smoking pot. He paused for a long time, and then said yes. I was very appreciative of his honesty and I know it took a lot of guts to do that. And I let him know that. Then he asked how I knew. I told him I had smelled it on him and in his room before, which is true, but I did not tell him I found anything in his room. Left that part out. I let him know how disappointed I was, and that I really did not expect him to go down this path. He told me he had been doing it sense last summer. I was shocked and I said you did a good job of hiding it for a long time. He told me where he messed up was he started doing it in his room a few times. I let him know it was not ok with me, and I wanted him to stop. I told him it was completely up to him, and I knew I could not make him stop. I also told him that his mother would eventually find out. Everything eventually comes out. I let him know that if and when she did find out things would get really bad. I am sure she would take all his friends down with him. She would be calling all his friends parents and telling them she caught him. I then told him to tell all his friends that I knew and would not tolerate it in my house. They need to leave it at home when they come over. I told him I would not be supportive of him going anywhere unsupervised with friends, and that I would not let him get his drivers license until I felt like he was not doing it anymore. I told him if something were to happen to you or your friends because you were high, it would be my fault for not stepping in harder and forcing you to stop. So he listened and was very respectful. He seemed like he was genuinely upset that I was disappointed in him. I ended with telling him I had enough respect for him to come to him and talk about it privately like an adult, and that I hoped he had enough respect for me to honor my request that he stop.

[CharlotteBeer.com]

Sounds like you had a pretty good talk with him. You talked to him with respect while also putting your foot down.

Hope everything works out for the best.

[TheSaint]

Then he asked how I knew. I told him I had smelled it on him and in his room before, which is true, b He told me where he messed up was he started doing it in his room a few times.

Sounds like an ad for a Vape

[Guild]

Well this is lulzy.

Your step son will not stop doing what he wants to do. He will merely involve you and your wife less in his own life.

Now that you played your hand he will know to be more cautious around your home and will know not to share things with you.

[Captroop]

Well this is lulzy.

Your step son will not stop doing what he wants to do. He will merely involve you and your wife less in his own life.

Now that you played your hand he will know to be more cautious around your home and will know not to share things with you.

For any of that to be true, you would have to have been a pretty pooty parent and raised your child in a house devoid of affection and trust. So I hope you aren't speaking out of personal experience.

[The Saltman]

for a kid having ure parent, whether it is a step parent or not, being disappointed in you is worse than anything. i think u handled it well. He will still smoke but I think you handled it the right way!!

[Zod]

Yeah, unless there are a lot of other problems, my main worry is he's buying stuff with a bunch of seeds in it.

lmao

[Captroop]

I like your approach, Inimicus. I had the same deal with my mom; a textbook realist. Her feeling was always that I could do just about anything as long as I was responsible enough to call her if things got out of hand, and I was 100% honest with her.

She knows how many times I have smoked pot (I told her after the fact, not like I announced, "Hey, i'm getting stoned at college with my friends!"), and knew when I was going out drinking in high school, because I would tell her there was going to be drinking at this party. And she always just told me if things got out of hand, call her, no matter what hour, or how far away I was. I never ended up calling, but having that open discourse with her really was refreshing and helped me develop as a young adult.

As a result, I am a social drinker and completely abstain from drug use.

[Guild]

For any of that to be true, you would have to have been a pretty pooty parent and raised your child in a house devoid of affection and trust. So I hope you aren't speaking out of personal experience.

I disagree.

The child merely has to be a teenager.

[Captroop]

I don't think shutting out your parents and not involving them in future decisions simply because thye laid down the laws of the house, can be entirely chalked up to teenage rebellion.

[Guild]

I don't think shutting out your parents and not involving them in future decisions simply because thye laid down the laws of the house, can be entirely chalked up to teenage rebellion.

You must not have met many (pot smoking) teenagers.

[Kurb]

Thanks for all the advise guys. Our relationship is good. He knows and respects my authority, but we also have a friendship type of relationship. I actually knew him before his mother. I know kinda weird, but they lived across the street from me, and he and his friends would often go with us to play paintball or football or whatever. He doesn't really have a relationship with his real dad, and has even asked if he could call me dad. I told him he could, but he still never really does. I guess I am not a new age parent. My wife nor myself smoke pot, but we do party a lot, and lots of our friends do it. I am not ok with it at such a young age. He has a lot to gain and loose right now in his life. He is just learning to drive, and will be getting a license soon. So I would be concerned with him doing it when he goes out, and driving while high. Plus at his age if he did get caught it could fall back on us. Illegal drugs in my house kinda does bother me.

Wha!?!

[Captroop]

I've met a lot. None were very open with their parents; so now this has devolved into a checken or egg argument.

Are teens not open with their parents because they smoke pot? Or do teens smoke pot because they aren't open with their parent? I argue the latter.