Teen Step-son smoking pot

[Happy Panther]

It's not really an "illegal" drug as NC has decriminalized it for the most part (assuming you are in NC). $200 fine Misdemeanor.

http://norml.org/index.cfm?wtm_view=&Group_ID=4555

I would talk to him very gently.

1) If he gets good grades and is not a jerk nobody is going to bother him

2) Pot is different than other drugs. Heroin will ruin your life. Meth ain't good and sometimes people keel over after snorting coke. The worst thing about pot is it can make a lazy guy even lazier and make you get bad grades.

3) Make sure he understands this is not a free ticket to do other illegal things. You will come down hard on him if he does.

4) Make sure he undersatnds that 1.5 oz is a felony and if he sells he can go to jail

Just my opinion.

[charlotte49er]

When I was 14, I came home from my buddies house and both my parents were in the den. I walked in and as soon as I saw then I knew I had done somethng wrong. I figured that discovered my cigarettes, which would have been funny as they were both smokers, but always said if I took it up, they would kick my @**!

Turned out they found magazines between my bed and the box springs! My Father had a lifetime subscription to Playboy and they were all out in the garage. My friends and I could "read" them anytime we wanted to, just not in front of the parents.

Anyway, I said what was the big deal? They weren't Playboys or even Penthouse, they were Hot Rod & Car Craft mags! LOL They wnated to know why I kept I wanted to keep them in pristine shape. My Father was, I think, disappointed when they weren't Playboy or Penthouse.

What I failed to tell them was each of these magazines had shots of Linda Vaughn (IF you dont know who she is, google her!) Linda was the hottest race girl that there ever was! She was probably every gearheads fantasy in the late 60's-mid 70's!

Times have changed!

[Matt Foley]

Cut off his lips. He can't smoke pot without lips.

You're welcome.

[theedaddy]

no easy answers, without getting tons of more information.

i have no issues with pot, but i do think 16 is alittle young. that bring into a whole another set of problems about when its ok to start/do drugs. At 16 the brain is not fully developed, pot effects the brain and changes the "wiring". But drugs are here to stay and experimenting early may helps ones understanding. so....

A few hit on the main point, it really depends on the kid and their makeup. Its all over the scale on people I know many that smoked at a early ages, some are losers, some are winners, some are eh, etc.

You can be a functioning member of a society, as a pot-head. Like many things it just takes discipline, knowing your priorities, using your brain, and knowing the rules. Gets ones "high" most times is.......high on ones priority list. Bust your ass all week/month, just to get a high? Hell its the main reason why many work, I MUST HAVE MY PILLS!!!! o MAN I need to get stoned and all will be good, yea.

amazing to see people doing these things to escape reality. add in video games and escaping reality maybe #1 on thee big list. #1- E.R #2-oil #3-weapons. I got it now!!!1!!!!

have the talk and come back, even do it while high.......

[Go To Girl]

I agree.....bottom line is he is a minor breaking the law in your house...sounds like he will understand where you are coming from and respect what you have to say. I like to party also, but I wouldn't stand for my under age kid breaking the law in my home. Ignoring it because he is still getting good grades would not be an option for me.

Hard part is whether to let your wife know or not. It would be nice be able to settle this with worrying her but how will it turn out if she finds out that you knew and didn't tell her? Think you could get her to realize it is not the end of the world and that you would like the opportunity to handle it "man to man"? Tough call for sure.....best of luck.

Finally - someone who says it's not fine.

[Mr. Scot]

I agree.....bottom line is he is a minor breaking the law in your house...sounds like he will understand where you are coming from and respect what you have to say. I like to party also, but I wouldn't stand for my under age kid breaking the law in my home. Ignoring it because he is still getting good grades would not be an option for me.

Hard part is whether to let your wife know or not. It would be nice be able to settle this with worrying her but how will it turn out if she finds out that you knew and didn't tell her? Think you could get her to realize it is not the end of the world and that you would like the opportunity to handle it "man to man"? Tough call for sure.....best of luck.

Whatever else you do, you have to let the wife know, or better yet, make him tell her.

If she finds out you knew and didn't tell her, then there will be hell to pay.

"Stepfather" is a title that can be undone via divorce. "Mother" is not.

Regardless of how good the relationships are at home, he'll always be more her kid than yours.

You gotta tell her.

[CharlotteBeer.com]

I really thought Meat would have made a parody thread entitled "Teen steps on smoking pot" by now.

[iBBB]

if you just confront him and tell him to never to it again, he'll just end up doing it more and being more careful about it.

everyone smokes at some point, its those who understand the consequences of keep doing it at a young age that pass that phase easy.

just explain that at his age it leads to no good.

i did 3x the stuff that my parents didnt allow and practically nothing that they didnt care about.

[CRA]

I think you misunderstood me.

I meant that as long as everything else in the kids life was going well (good grades, sports team, PT job) then let it slide and ask his wife to not make a big deal about it.

No, I understood. I think if he tells his wife he is "taking care of it" by doing jack squat.......that the conversation with the wife won't go well.

[Mr. Scot]

huh...

I guess I just have a different relationship with my wife. If I tell her that I have a situation under control with our daughter she doesn't question my methods even if my method is to not act right away.

Is your daughter a stepdaughter?

[jasonluckydog]

Stepdaughters sound like more fun..

[Panthro]

[Matt Foley]

Finally - someone who says it's not fine.

Hey now. I said cut off his lips.

[Razzy]

I'd agree that, unless the pot causes other problems (drop in grades, depression, antisocial tendencies) then leave it be for now, or at least don't make a huge issue of it.

It's a delicate matter, but IMO you shouldn't tell him that you found it. Snooping around your teenagers room will do nothing but make them lose trust in you and earn you an express ticket out of their life.