PStall's Universal Truth's

[pstall]

At some point you WILL face a real bear.

At any moment of the day, a Harrison Ford movie and a Gene Hackman movie will be on at the same time.

The person working nights at a gas station owns a mid 90's Champagne Camry.

You will realize you are one document short at the DMV when you are next in line.

The hot chick at the bar that you think is giving you the eye doesn't have on her glasses.

Feel free to add

[ItsNotGonnaBeAlright]

No matter how many times you've seen it or heard it, no matter how much you liked it, when you try to tell someone else about it, you will not be able to remember the name.

[pstall]

I didn't mean to make anyone think...sheesh

[Guild]

Inevitably if you sleep late you will awaken to a burstingly full bladder provided you swill down a six pack before bed.

[Samuel L. Jackson]

Just because you've bought all these fancy new tools, it doesn't mean you'll ever use them to finish all these projects you have in mind...

Despite how close you cut the grass, you'll be doing the same thing in a week and a half to two weeks... tops...

Less than one 20th of all women, despite what those pr0n movies will lead you to believe, offer oral sex... If you think that number is small, consider that once the status of "wife" is achieved, that number drops off even further...

If a woodchuck could chuck wood, there wouldn't be a useless tongue twister about it...

(the following two are from my FB page, as recent status updates from myself... devised by yours truly)

Living your life in anticipation of what comes after it is not living at all. Be the type of person that leaves your own mark on the world, and not the type that accepts the precedents set by others...

If only lack of empathy and corporate greed could be clinically diagnosed and classified as "pre-existing conditions," healthcare reform would have happened a long time ago.

[88 Bronco]

Anytime you have to take the wife's car somewhere, it will barely have enough gas to make it to the gas station.

If you want it to rain, wash your car.

The only time the trash gets pick-up early is when you didn't put the can out the night before.

[Jase]

Any town or city with a name starting with the letter G is an awful place.

[CharlotteBeer.com]

At some point, you will inevitably create a thread title with a misused apostrophe.

[CharlotteBeer.com]

Just because you've bought all these fancy new tools, it doesn't mean you'll ever use them to finish all these projects you have in mind...

Despite how close you cut the grass, you'll be doing the same thing in a week and a half to two weeks... tops...

Anytime you have to take the wife's car somewhere, it will barely have enough gas to make it to the gas station.

I can relate to all of these things.

[Captroop]

The day you leave early for a meeting there is not a car on the road. When you are running five minutes late, prepare for gridlock.

[j2sgam]

Somebody always has a better way to do something after you have finished...

[88 Bronco]

Somebody always has a better way to do something after you have finished...

Hell they guy watching you do all the work has a better way to do everything

[Jangler]

You get diarrhea after you take a shower.

[Mesmer]

lol