Hollis Thomas wants to try out over phone

[Swarly]

MIAMI—According to his teammates and coaches, Colts quarterback Peyton Manning has been sequestered in the film room at Sun Life Stadium for the last three days reviewing game tape from the Saints' 1974 season. "Can't be too prepared," a bleary-eyed Manning reportedly told a team manager, adding that if the Saints decide to sign former middle linebacker Joe Federspiel, 60, before the game this Sunday, he'll know exactly what adjustments to make. "Could you get me that Rams game from November? I need to see how quick [former strong safety] Johnny Fuller got to the quarterback on the blitz. Go now." Manning later told the Colts defense that they didn't need to watch any of the game film, as the Saints' quarterback in 1974 was "absolutely terrible."

rofl, I need to make theonion my homepage

[Fiz]

ajjjhhhhh

CHARLOTTE, NC—Claiming that he felt "rushed," Panthers quarterback Jake Delhomme failed to connect on a 5-foot pass to his Capital Grille restaurant valet Sunday, instead sending his car keys into the hands of the wrong parking attendant. "It's frustrating, because I knew as soon as I let go of the keys that the throw was off target," said Delhomme, adding that he should not have been throwing off his back foot. "I don't want to make excuses, but I may have injured my throwing hand on the sharp edge of a key while I was in the pocket. Hopefully, I can watch film from the valet's security camera and correct that next time." Once inside the restaurant, Delhomme fumbled a steaming hot dinner roll, kicked it across the dining room while trying to pick it up, and was blocked into a side table by a busboy, who eventually recovered the baked good.

[The Link]

[Wither]

ajjjhhhhh

ROFL. That was a great one.

[SmootsDaddy89]

Thing about it, that actually sounds like him.

[CharlotteBeer.com]

Thing about it, that actually sounds like him.

I really thought it was for a second. That guy has a great sense of humor -- I wish we could have kept him around, but I guess there's no place for funny, aging veterans on this team.

[Khyber53]

I think we should replace Sir Purr with Hollis Thomas. C'mon, it would be a lot of fun.

[KatsAzz]

The article had me going for a moment. It sounded a lot like something he would say.

It would be great having Thomas around as a good will ambasador for the Panthers.