Not being a big player in free agency? JESUS CHRIST DIE JERRY RICHARDSON YOU BASTARD

[Fiz]

okay now that I've got your attention, let us take a brief look at the Panthers history of activity during the free agent period, where they've succeeded, where they haven't, where they wish they could have done something better, and where they will plan to focus this time around.

For starters, the insinuations that Jerry Richardson doesn't want the team to be big players in free agency shouldn't surprise anyone. As a matter of fact, it should be cause for a sigh of relief. This is a notoriously bad free agent class, especially at the positions where the Panthers are hurting, namely WR, DT, and DE. Because of this, players that REALLY don't deserve the money (like Aaron Kampman) are going to get stupidly overpaid, and he's probably going to be able to use whatever contract Julius Peppers gets as leverage.

None of this means that Jerry Richardson is cheap, or that he's trying to sabotage the team for his NFL Illuminati gay sex friends, or that he's lost his mind. If you walked into a Wal-Mart and didn't buy anything because it was priced like a Burberry, no one except your children would call you cheap. They'd call you smart. Your kids would call you all sorts of names because they just want something new to get excited about.

Yes I'm calling those of you who scream crap like this children. Wipe your own asses you worthless little shits.

That said, lets look at how this team has done when its decided to pursue free agents. You can double check me here.

BIG NAME SIGNINGS

Ken Lucas - this is the first guy I'm putting as a big name free agent signing. Lucas was the biggest name available at his position in 2005, and was the first time the Panthers committed to a "big name corner." prior to him, it was a collection of assholes just running around and cherry picking wounded ducks after the panthers rushed 2 and got to the quarterback.

Ken Lucas was an interesting case. He was certainly worth the money they paid him in 2005, but he quickly fell off a cliff. He went from being really good and probably a pro bowl snub, to being okay, then to being dreadful in a 3 year span. Furthermore, he was hated in the locker room.

I would never have signed him in the first place, but I can't really call this a bust. He was a starting corner for four years, 2.5 of them pretty good.

Maake Kemo'eatu - 2006 was when the Panthers really went insane. Apparently deciding they hadn't been aggressive enough following 2003, they went out and got the two biggest names on the market.

Kemo'eatu is an interesting case. On one hand, he's was a consistent starter for three years, company guy, toed the line, never raised a peep. For all intents and purposes, he was decent player on the line.

However, he was hardly ever as advertised. Kemo's strength is never being pushed back, but he's equally unable to collapse the pile in. Whether or not he's being double or triple teamed, he's going to camp out in the middle of the line, collect his paycheck, and not move anything. That's okay, I guess, but not what you pay top dollar for. When he was signed, he was supposed to be a poo wrecker NT from Baltimore. Turns out he was just kinda a rock.

Lastly, he wasn't even difficult to replace with comparable productions. I know a bunch of you just poo the bed and are frothing at the mouth and probably look like this, but the second the Panthers signed Hollis Thomas' fat ass off the street, all the problems caused by Kemo's absence went away. The Panthers went right back to the way they usually are: good against the pass, okay against the run.

Mike Wahle - Wahle was a former pro bowler with the Green Bay Packers and came over here with much pomp and fanfare. He managed to scrounge up pro bowl birth (helped by legions of packer fans no doubt) then proceeded to literally disintegrate in front of our very eyes. in 2006 he could barely stand up straight. he finally ended his precipitous collapse in seattle where they still curse his name. four year contract for one year of production, and they still couldn't muster a thousand yard rusher when he was good.

If we could go back and do it again, I'd take a major pass on Kemo'eatu.

Jeff Hartwig - Utter and complete disaster. Got hurt and never recovered. Sucked when he was in. Unmitigated disaster. I love you Ryan Kalil do me.

Meshawn Johnson - The Panthers decided not to resign Muhsin Muhammad after the best season of his life because of keary colbert, and instead decided to give practically the exact same contract moose signed in detroit to an older, slower, less productive player the next year with a reputation for being a locker room cancer. Well, Keyshawn was old, slow, and a locker room cancer. The only thing memorable he did was get cut 20 minutes after delivering this gushing speech.

[PantherBrew]

Fiz pwns all.

Great f**king article, fine young male.

seriously, nice write up.

[ElIngeniero]

Very nice post. I usually wouldn't argue against signing our corp players but after your proposition...I'm not so certain...

[Kevin Greene]

Granted it's not a great FA class.

It is a deep draft however.

We don't have a 1st round pick.

We're fuged.

[jasonluckydog]

Sticky- 5 star thread.

[X-Clown]

You forgot one big free agent signing, Mike Wahle

[bigdog10]

*Justin Hartwig*

[scpanther22]

I still would like to at least check out Kevin Walter.

[carpanfan96]

Kampman deserves the money he gets.. 40.5 sacks over the last 4 years, that's including last year at OLB on top of missing 7 games this past season. Also like SCP said above wouldn't mind giving Kevin Walter a look if the deal is reasonable. Other then that very weak class and I pretty much agree.

[Fiz]

You forgot one big free agent signing, Mike Wahle

Yeah I've tried to block that from my memory.

[Future of the Funchise]

Love this thread... I want to impregnate it and make pie babies with it.

[mmmbeans]

keyshawn johnson?

lol.

[top dawg]

Fiz, Sometimes you are an ass for no reason, but...this time I think you are on to something. Granted, it's not that this hasn't been said (or at least alluded to) before, it's just that you said it in an entertaining and colorful way.

However, I do think Brandon Marshall, and Anquan Boldin are fairly big names that deserve to be looked at (and you know that realistically this is all that J-Rich is going to do: look), and I believe that they would immediately help our situation on the other side of Smitty. They are proven threats, and J-Rich seems to have some kind of blinders on and a big reluctance to pull his pocketbook out when it comes to making this obvious move. It's only because that I know J-Rich is fundamentally practical (i.e., a cheap ass mofo) when it comes to spending out money that I'll grin, smile, and see what he and the rest of his FO minions come up with in the draft and F.A. Perhaps the likes of a Kevin Walter might be enough.

But,---kind of going off on a tangent---J-Rich is the same person that pays John Fox and Jake Delhomme, so perhaps none of this really matters. Either we will suck regardless, or Fox and company will do their thing against a decidedly weak schedule, get his extension, and we'll all get to play on the up and down escalators every year.

Did I really say, "Rep!"?

[pstall]

thanks Seth Green