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Can we get some comedy up in this joint?

pstall

By pstall,
in Huddle Lounge

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cookinwithgas Veteran

cookinwithgas

Posted
Posted

This is a stupid thing about me. Kind of funny but not really, more embarrassing then anything. I haven't told anyone this, I don't think.

When i was in labor i pushed for like 1 1/2 hours, apparently i was doing a terrible job. The doctor was gauging me to see if i could do any better or they'd have to do a c section. He asked if i could do it, I said "no". Then I had visions of Jake, Smitty and Naruto pop into my head. I thought about their determination and I stopped the doctor and told him, "i can do this". On the next push I finally got his head out.

Yep Jake, Smith and Naruto inspired me when I was down. Now you can all laugh at my lameness. :)

Hopefuilly Jarrett was not the guy responsible for catching the baby as it came out.

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Samuel L. Jackson Newbie

Samuel L. Jackson

Posted
Posted

Here's another one...

I once was about to have sex with my wife in the parking lot of an elementary school late one night... We had only been dating a few months and it was some sort of anniversary, and we didn't really have anywhere to go to do our thing, so we figured the abandoned parking lot would be great... So I pulled between the buses, and we started getting into it...

Not long after we had undone our pants, two Sheriff's deputies come rolling up... We both had to get out of the car and explain ourselves... They got a pretty good chuckle from our embarassment, and sent us on our way...

Turns out, they had been having a trouble with vandals and made regular patrols... FML...

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pstall Newbie

pstall

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Here's another one...

I once was about to have sex with my wife in the parking lot of an elementary school late one night... We had only been dating a few months and it was some sort of anniversary, and we didn't really have anywhere to go to do our thing, so we figured the abandoned parking lot would be great... So I pulled between the buses, and we started getting into it...

Not long after we had undone our pants, two Sheriff's deputies come rolling up... We both had to get out of the car and explain ourselves... They got a pretty good chuckle from our embarassment, and sent us on our way...

Turns out, they had been having a trouble with vandals and made regular patrols... FML...

A wincing lol from me

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panthers55 Grand Master

panthers55

Posted
Posted

Back when I was 18 (yeah back in the dark ages) I had a plymouth Fury III which was a fantastic makeout car (bench seat was wide enough to lay all the way down). Me and my new girlfriend were parking in a housing development being constructed in Wilson NC on a dirt road. Listening to tunes and enjoying ourselves. Problem was we drained the battery and it wouldn't start. So we had to walk about 1/4 mile to the nearest house in 30 degree weather and call my father to jump our car. Of couse he and my two brothers show up and start asking alot of questions about what we were doing out there, etc. If that wasn't embarassing enough, I had to explain to her father why we were late and made some crap up about why the car died etc.

Needless to say she wasn't exactly impressed and we didn't date after that. Too bad for that she was really great. Guess she didn't feel the same way about me. Oh well. Another one of my smooth moves.

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Jase Apprentice

Jase

Posted
Posted

A few weeks ago my wife really had a craving for butterfingers.

So I went to food lion, which is the closest grocery store to my house, and proceeded to get two butterfingers, one for the wife and one for me.

I went to one of those self checkout scanners they have, where there is a conveyor belt to the right of the scanner that takes the scanned groceries to the bagging area at the end of the lane. So I scan the two butterfingers, send them down the belt, and begin to pay.

As I finish keying in my pin, I hear a quick rustle. I look to the bagging area, and there's a little girl in a puffy coat standing on the bumper so she could be tall enough to look and reach over into the bagging area. She gave me a guilty look, hopped down, and returned to the next checkout lane where her mother was standing.

I get to the bagging area and find only one butterfinger. Son of a bitch! She had probably stuffed it in her coat, which would have accounted for the rustle I heard. But I couldn't be sure. It could have fallen in the crack between the conveyor belt and the counter, so I hesitated, and looked at the little girl, who was still staring guiltily at me from the next lane over.

I decided to drop it, since there was no way I could be 100% sure that she stole the candy bar.

I left with only one candy bar, because it wasn't worth the effort to call out the girl or buy another butterfinger. I had just been robbed by a little girl. FML.

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