Don’t waste your time being a Panthers fan. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

[Mr. Scot]

As to the topic...

Speaking as someone who's lost my mother (to whom I was very close) my father and my brother, I can understand. My mother's death came just six weeks before the woman I'd been in love with for the past five years (and engaged to for a year and a half) left me, largely because her mother was a b-tch from hell (long story).

I was, shall we say, unwell for a long time after that, but things get ultimately get better.

Regarding the game, I've been a football fan since I was five years old but from the mid '80s until the Panthers came into existence I didn't really have a favorite team. I just watched the game For the love of it.

And yes, there have been times when I've been tempted to go back to that status

I haven't because growing older has made me more "fan" and less "fanatic". Losses hurt, but only about as much as a sad movie ending. And honestly, for as much as I might grouse about it, having a wife who's also a football fan helps because we can enjoy the games together.

So bottom line, as simplistic as it might sound, the best thing I could say to anybody would be this: As much as possible, indulge in the things you enjoy and avoid the things you don't.

As you get older, the difference between those things tends to get a lot clearer.

[top dawg]

Truly sorry for your loss, but we'll see you soon. 

I hate that the Panthers haven't been better during their existence, but it's a part of my family culture now. My son and I watch the game on Sundays. My wife is more of a casual fan, but still a fan. I take it semi-seriously, but not so serious that I can't keep it all in perspective and enjoy life regardless if they win or lose. I just hope they'll win it all at least one time before I die and am still in my right mind.

Edited January 2, 2023 by top dawg

[hepcat]

7 hours ago, Mr. Scot said:

So bottom line, as simplistic as it might sound, the best thing I could say to anybody would be this: As much as possible, indulge in the things you enjoy and avoid the things you don't.

As you get older, the difference between those things tends to get a lot clearer.

I agree. Priorities change and as you get older, and what’s really important becomes clearer. A silly loser football team doesn’t seem worth my time. It’s not fun anymore. 

 

[Mr. Scot]

5 minutes ago, hepcat said:

I agree. Priorities change and as you get older, and what’s really important becomes clearer. A silly loser football team doesn’t seem worth my time. It’s not fun anymore. 

Losing people does a lot to clarify priorities too.

It can also make you second guess yourself a lot, sometimes too much and then you end up beating yourself up more than you deserve.

Don't let it eat you.

[hepcat]

12 minutes ago, Mr. Scot said:

Losing people does a lot to clarify priorities too.

It can also make you second guess yourself a lot, sometimes too much and then you end up beating yourself up more than you deserve.

Don't let it eat you.

I am not so much beating myself up as much as I am getting numb to all the tragedy and grief. Over the last 3 years both my wife and I’s family’s have endured unexpected losses for a variety of reasons and now I’m just waiting for what awful thing is next. The cosmos upped the ante with my brother in laws death. Whatever is next will probably be worse. I pray it isn’t but life has shown me it is unnecessarily cruel. That’s why I say, enjoy EVERY MOMENT. You are not guaranteed tomorrow. 

[Mr. Scot]

1 minute ago, hepcat said:

I am not so much beating myself up as much as I am getting numb to all the tragedy and grief. Over the last 3 years both my wife and I’s family’s have endured unexpected losses for a variety of reasons and now I’m just waiting for what awful thing is next. The cosmos upped the ante with my brother in laws death. Whatever is next will probably be worse. I pray it isn’t but life has shown me it is unnecessarily cruel. That’s why I say, enjoy EVERY MOMENT. You are not guaranteed tomorrow. 

Understood.

One of the reasons age and cynicism have such a close relationship is over time, you get to see more bad stuff happen.

Prayers and well wishes from me. I know it's hard.

[The NFL Shield At Midfield]

Yeah I went through a lifechanging event in 2015 that made me re-contexualize football.  It wasn't a life or death matter as in the OP, but it was one of those crossroads moments when you have to make a really serious, life-altering decision and question what you prioritize in life.

I still like chopping it up here on Sundays and watching the Panthers but the emotional labor is like maybe 10% of what it used to be.  tbh I'm glad things are that way now.

[Shocker]

17 hours ago, hepcat said:

I’m really emotional today after losing my brother in law yesterday. He officiated my wedding and was always such a great guy to be around. He was robbed of his life at only 37 because of a freak accident. It is just another reminder that none of us are guaranteed we will be here tomorrow. Life can be taken from you at any moment. 

I could have really used a big Panthers win today to lift my spirits, but instead I’m treated to the same old miserable bunch of pathetic losers that always show up when the games start to matter. So my New Years Resolution is to stop caring about football. I no longer get any joy out of watching the Panthers and my time is better spent elsewhere. I might still keep an eye on the final scores from time to time, but this isn’t a hobby that is worth my time anymore.

I implore all of you to consider spending your precious little time elsewhere as well. Family is something worth investing your time into. Maybe a creative hobby. Or exercise. If watching the Panthers lose brings you joy, more power to you. It’s your life, spend it how you want. This is merely a reminder that we have no control over when our time comes. And I don’t want to waste any more time on something that makes me miserable. 

I hope you all have a great 2023 and I’ll see y’all around.  

Condolences on your loss.  Prayers to you and your family

[Gregg S]

I used to get very emotionally involved with watching Panthers games and would be very upset after every lose.  But as I've aged, I still watch and cheer for them when I have nothing else to do, but I no longer set aside Sundays just for watching.  My wife and I scuba dive and we usually go somewhere for that activity every Sunday up until late October or early November depending on temps in our area.  I'll still record the games if I remember to set my DVR and may or may not watch them, especially when they lose. 

I was excited watching yesterday's game thru the 3rd quarter, but then apathy set in when it appeared they were not going to win, although they did not give up and had a chance up until the very last play.  But I did not get emotional after the lose and accepted it as possibly being more of a benefit to the team than winning and possibly going to the playoffs.  Perhaps it will be more positive than negative in the long haul as it may bring in better coaching and players.

But I am still a fan of the Panthers as I have been from the day it was announced that Charlotte was getting a team and shall remain one.  Just not to the point of getting emotionally wrung out like I used to.

And @hepcat, sorry for the lose of your BIL.  Your family is what is important right now, not some in the grand scheme of things irrelevant football team or game.  Focus on them.

[MechaZain]

Complications with my daughter's birth in 2020 led to her having a stroke only a few weeks old and almost losing her. I learned to take nothing in life for granted. Cherish all the joys life brings because they aren't guaranteed and they can be taken away from you at anytime.

The Panthers are a trivial one in the grand scheme of it all. If watching football and following this team through thick and thin doesn't entertain you there's better uses of your time. 

[panthers55]

9 hours ago, top dawg said:

Truly sorry for your loss, but we'll see you soon. 

I hate that the Panthers haven't been better during their existence, but it's a part of my family culture now. My son and I watch the game on Sundays. My wife is more of a casual fan, but still a fan. I take it semi-seriously, but not so serious that I can't keep it all in perspective and enjoy life regardless if they win or lose. I just hope they'll win it all at least one time before I die and am still in my right mind.

Went to Superbowl 50 because I thought that you can't predict the future so enjoy the now. I really didn't think it would take so long to get back there but am glad I went considering what has happened since. Went to London with the Panthers because I had never been to England and killed two birds with one stone. The point? Life is too short to let things derail you and you need to keep your fandom in perspective.  Take advantage of your opportunities and root like hell but at the end of the day it is only a game and nothing to lose a lot of sleep over.

[Panthera onca]

Sorry for your loss. Sports are entertainment and a diversion for a few hours. The Panthers or any other team aren’t worth getting angry and upset over. I enjoy watching NFL games and the Panthers get my money and support. I would prefer that they win but will enjoy hanging out with friends and family at the tailgates and games.

[MechaZain]

Being emotionally invested but only finding joy in winning is an unhealthy way to be a sports fan.

Edited January 2, 2023 by MechaZain

[1of10Charnatives]

18 hours ago, hepcat said:

We can only cry and grieve and look at old pictures so much until we have to try to do something that brings us joy. Today I turned to my favorite football team to deliver a distraction from pain and all it brought was more of it which made me realize there’s nothing left for me in supporting this team. And that might be true for many others who haven’t realized it yet, hence why I wrote my post. 

Sorry about your loss, and sorry the team wasn't able to give you some distraction from it.  Your post clearly came from the heart, and is a reminder of things that will always matter more than football.